Trying to Conceive After Miscarriage or Loss October '08 #2

[nicjay]

Hi everyone,

Only got time for a quickie today, have got lots on today I just wanted to pop in and say hi! I have been a bit guilty of lurking and not posting too just want to see how things pan out with this IVF cycle for a bit longer before I post about it. But I am still jabbing and sniffing away.

Anyway big for everyone especially those who are doing things tough. Hope you all have a lovely weekend.

[princess85]

Hi everyone.
Just wondering if i can join this thread. Here's a little about me.....
I had my 1st m/c at the start of oct 08. I was about 5-6 weeks. I'd only found out i was pregnant 4 days before. To cut a long story short, i had heavy bleeding and clotting so my gyno put me in for surgery and i had a d&c and laproscopy. Its been 4 weeks since it all happened and physically i'm feeling alot better but emotionally i think its really sinking in what happened coz at the time i kept saying to everyone yes i'm fine putting on a brave face when i dont think i was.
Some good came out of it as 2 weeks later my man proposed to me, so we are now engaged!!!
We do want to ttc again soon as we'd love Zac to have a sibling soon but i dont know whats happening with my body as far as AF goes.

Looking forward to getting to know u all

[Where there's hope]

Princess. I think I can speak on behalf of all the girls here (and they are all wonderful) in saying, "we are sorry you have to be here". You will find a lot of support and understanding on this thread. You mentioned your AF - has it returned yet? I think the general rule is AF comes 4 to 6 weeks after your D&C. Congratulations on your engagement and I wish you the best of luck in creating a sibling for Zac.

[mollycat]

Princess85 . Sorry that you've had to join us, but you've found a great group of supportive women. Congratulations on your engagement. Hope your stay here is a short one and it won't be long before Zac gets a little brother or sister.

[Dutchy]

Thank you some much for all your warm welcomes and encouraging words. I have been referred to a specialists and will be seeing them next month. Doc did a blood test and said the hormone levels were low, but yes I must of mc again. He is not supposed refer me until I have had 3 in a row, but has taken the plunge and done it anyway.

My heart goes out to all of you - I never realised that so many people would be going through the same thing.

Best of luck to you all. Here's hoping.

[RuthiePCOS momma]

Princess85: My heart goes out to you .. ALL of us here know exactly how you feel. We are all here for you ♥
I have received AMAZING Love, compassion and support form all my girlies here since day one. I had mi 3rd miscarriage this past September 11th and had a D&C on the 12th and am still waiting for AF.
Please know that I speak for all here.. WE ARE HERE FOR YOU!!!!!

I hope you heal.. I am healing too.. along with many of my friends here. A day, a week, a month...a year.. makes no difference.. a Loss is a loss.. I fell in love with my baby.. and the heartbreak I have gone through three times is something that I don't wish upon anyone.
Hugs to you momma ♥

Ruthie

[Dutchy]

princess 85, I only just joined here a couple of days ago after my second mc and I must say that it has been a great help to me. The girls on here are fantastic and supportive and because we're all going through similar stuff they know how to hit the nail on the head, unlike, unfortunately my very supportive husband (I love him to death, but he has no idea).
with AF, hope it comes soon and you and your new husband to be can make a sticky bub.

[princess85]

Thank you everyone for the warm welcomes. It's good to be able to talk to people that have had similar experiences as i have no one else to talk to. None of my friends or family know exactly what it feels like they can only imagine.
AF hasn't returned. I've never been regular even when i was on the pill. I go back my gyno at the end of the month which will be be my check up 6 weeks after d&c.

Dutchy- i know how u feel my DP tried to be supportive but like urs has no idea. He says i'm here if u wanna talk but he doesn't understand or know what to say. But i gotta give him points for trying.

[Mel1979]

Hi everyone,

Princess. It's shame you have to be here but you've certainly come to the right place for support. I only joined in October and the wonderful ladies on this thread have been my lifeline!

Dutchy - So sorry to hear about your 2nd loss. I hope the specialist can give you some answers.

Ruthie - I am in awe of your courage and strength. The last 12 months have been the hardest of my life, it has been a constant struggle to cope with one m/c so I don't know how you have coped with 3. I you have some good news soon.

Mannie - Hope you are healing.

Hi to Mollycat, Jen, Megsmum, plc1805, WTH and anyone else I have missed!

AFM - Well I made an appointment with the FS today and I got in next Thursday! I am so happy we don't have to wait very long. Bit nervous about what the tests might sow up but it will be better knowing and doing something about it rather than keeping on trying with no luck.

Better go and make a start on dinner........

[tutmae]

Hi lovely ladies! I too must admit I'm guilty of being a dirty rotten lurker lately. Have been checking in almost constanlty but nothing to report so staying quiet.

Princess and Dutchy: So sorry you have to be here hons, but the ladies are wonderful and everyone is so supportive. Here's to a very speedy TTC for you!!

Jen: It's so strange when you're quiet. Freaks me out!! Sheesh. Call me dependant! :P Hope everything is all good, hon! Big your way

Mel: I hope everything goes wonderfully with the FS and that you get some answers! I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you!

All the other lovely ladies who I haven't mentioned: I'm thinking of you all and sending big and loads of babydust your way!!

AFM: Have our scan in under 2 weeks now and am really starting to freak out. I'm sure everything will be fine, but my stupid brain keeps coming up with worst case scenarios. Stupid brain. I've been getting a few kicks (a lot in the direction of my bladder) and have been ridiculously out of breath. My dear mother puts it down to my boobies - which have now swelled from a G to a GG (and I'm not a super huge girl)- putting pressure on my lungs. I'm inclined to agree, but I'll check with the doc when I go. Had awful tummy pain today and panicked a bit but by the way I've been, um, gassing this evening I'm going to say it was just that. Lovely gas. I'm so darn glamourous at the moment. hehe.

Anyways, nuff about me. Sending you all babydust and sticky vibes.

xx

[*beannaithe*]

Dutchy and Princess - a big and a very sad welcome to you both. You have def come to the right place for amazing support - may your stays be short and sticky

Well, yesterday I succumbed to the ugly cry and had a huge meltdown. The day began with a close friend telling me that she was pg in her first month of trying. I am really pleased for them but why do I take so long to get pg - I want to be able to get it right first time. Then I heard my SIL was in labour so I bravely went along to the birth which I was actually ok with . . . until the dr came in to deliver the baby and it was the same one that we'd had with my last m/c. I held it together and had a big hold of my SIL baby girl (1 1/2 hr labour btw) and stayed and talked for a while but by the time DH and I got back to the car, well the floodgates opened and I just couldn't stop, I literally bawled all evening long. So now, after a crap sleep, I am looking incredibly glamerous with big dark circles and nasty wrinkly bags under my eyes and we have a do to go to tonight. At this do, one of DH workmates and wife will be there and they are about 30 weeks pg and he is like a kid in a lolly shop and if he patronises me by telling me it'll happen when the time is right, I will lose it all over again. Why does it have to be so hard. I just want to hide in bed cos then I can't see or hear about anything so it can't hurt any more. I am having the strangest feelings because for me to get a bfp now would be absolutely terrible timing (we have to wait until December to try), I can't help this horrible jealousy. None of my friends really understand what its like cos they haven't been there and I really hate feeling like this - makes me feel like the biggest
b!tch in the world. Anyway, I will stop this ranting and raving but I needed to get it out to people who do actually understand. Thank you for being there and letting me ramble.

[plc1805]

Melissa - first of all, well done for holding it together when u visited ur sil and baby - that would have been incredibly hard!!! second, don't try to understand why u are feeling this way - i don't think from my experience there is anything rational about feelings relating to m/c. It is pure emotion. If you are feeling sad, frustrated, alone, unfairly done by - just cry, cry, cry. Those ugly cries are really horrible and one feels totally spent, numb and devoid of energy after them. But one thing they have going for them is that they are an enormous release for emotions that you just don't know what to do with. Your friend tonight has no clue about what the TTC wait is all about if he says "it'll happen when the time is right" - has no concept of the related emotion. He thinks he is saying the right thing but it is just such a general thing to say. The time was right for you years ago emotionally but physically what's the hold up? Not even worth explaining, clarifying with him. Focus on other aspects of the do (if possible) to distract from such conversation. Ramble away hun - the physical answers may not be found for you in this thread but we can sure darn give loads of support emotionally so that day to day you can get by.

Welcome princess85 and Dutchy - you have come to the right place. I hope the support you find is as beneficial as it was for me

[Dutchy]

I'm with you Mel on that one I hate people telling me that's it's just not your time! What a load of crap - I have three cousins all who have children that they didn't want, all were teenagers and single when they had them and then there is my brother and I, my brother on fertility medication and me who doesn't seem to have found a sticky one yet! Stuff those people - I have taken to the abrupt and quite rude approach, probably not one I would reccomend, but it sure helps me!

I also have a friend who has been trying for nearly two years, that keeps telling me, well at least you can get pregnant! The other night after my second miss I blew up in her face and told her that I would rather have not been pregnant at all than to have lost two babies!

Some people are just insensitve and only think of themselves because they have no empathy so they think what they are saying is the right thing, I say tell them how you feel and then at least you won't have constant reminders. I recently got married in June and since then got asked a million questions, we told everyone there was to tell about the first miss and bang everyone avoids the conversation. Thank god because I really don't want to talk about it now that I have had the second.

I'm a big believer in getting everything out in the open, after all people can only treat you the way they think you are feeling if you are up front and honest (not rude like me) then they hopefully will back off. It's that good old saying of you never know what you've got until you miss it, if they were in our shoes I bet they would be breaking every two seconds and not dealing with it as bravely and as well as what we are! Enjoy tonight, have fun, make the most of life. Because as my good old Mum always tells me good things come to those who wait, you don't want to know what I say back though !

Big

[RuthiePCOS momma]

Melissal: Aawwww..... It's all bittersweet. Your SIL and babies ALL OVER THE PLACE!!! I know what you mean and feel your every single word. ( to me it seems like THE WORLD is pregnant or having babies) except me.
As I have said here before I had a Due Date Buddy and she sends me pics of her belly and u/s pics often.. last night she found out what she is having ( a girl) and hubby glanced at the Computer screen and asked who is that??. Then he noticed I was crying and said... " Aaww I know how you feel.. but you have to stop being jealous"...
ARE YOU F***ING KIDDING ME???...
Why would my husband say something like that to me??.. I know it''s true..but that was not what I needed to hear!! ok now I'm laughing cuz one of this smiliy looks just like me on that moment.. this one..

BBWWWAAHAHAHAH!!!
Ok sorry... yes I'm NUTS!!.. you should know the from the start!!!


TO ALL MY GIRLIES HERE....
hubby got me the HPTs today so I am POASing tomorrow.. like you a BFP right now would be BAD TIMING!!!! I want to TTC on Jan 2009 but I need to POAS.. I have not had AF since my D&C on 9/12.

Let's see. OMG a BFP will be so not good right now.


Blah!!

We are all here for you !!!

Duchy, Plc: Sending you girls HUGE HUGS!!!! ♥

I will update tomorrow ASAP after POASING ++ or NEG.

hugs to all.

Ruthie

[~ Mylitta ~]

Hi Ruthie, I just wanted to quickly mention that it might be a good idea to get a couple of quantitative hcg blood tests done instead of poas. I'd hate for you to get a positive on the hpt, only to find out that it was because your body still had hcg left over from your last pregnancy. At least by getting two BT's done you would know for sure whether the hcg was rising or falling.

Good luck.


Hi to everyone else. Special hugs for those of you feeling down

Much babydust and stickyvibes for all!!

[Mannie2903]

goodluck Ruthie...I'm thinking of you ..just been lurking lately as trying to get over the last m/c in my own way, but I am drawn to this thread.

Hi princess and Dutchy and Melissa, its a real **** you have to be in this situation like the rest of us, I do so hope your stay is short and get a sticky bean soon. And as Ruthie said its like the whole world is pregnant at the moment and your not.....just got to keep your spirits up and know that it will happen not in our time but on God's time, so we've got to roll with the punches and try and be happy for these people who have been lucky enough to fall pregnant and have a healthy pregnancy because thats what we all hope for in the end.

Thought about my first bub this morning and how lovely it would've been to have the big belly and could've felt my baby kicking...oh well i'll have to wait til I get to heaven to meet him/her.

Krystie and Tut and Jenushka lots of belly rubs to you...

Have a great weekend ladies and as monty python always says....(singing) always look on the bright side of life....yes Im a little quirky too....hugs and hugs and hugs to all you ttcing and all those who have lost recently.....xxx Mannie

[jenushka]

Mannie - Thank you for the bellyrubs! I hope you are doing ok - I've been thinking of you. Good to see that you are feeling so positive (can't beat a good dose of monty python to bring a smile to the face!)

Ruthie - it's so great to have you back here encouraging everyone! You were amazing support to me after I lost my second angel in August. I will be hanging out with everyone else to see the results of poas - but Krystie's idea was a good one. Have you thought about getting quantitative hcg bt's? Spose you'll just have to see what poas brings ......

Jen - where are you? Hope everything is ok in Jen-Land. I miss your posts

Hello to all of the new ladies who have ventured here - I am very sorry to hear of the sad circumstances that have brought you to this thread, but you've probably found out by now what an exceptional amount of care and support is available here. I hope your stay here is a short one, and that you get your sticky bfp very soon

Update on me - had a bit of a scare during the week with some spotting. Was able to get in for another scan the next day thankfully to see little bean doing fine and no clue as to where the bleeding might have been coming from. Haven't had any since , but getting very close to the 9 week mark where my last two bubs haven't made it much past. Missed m/c can mess with you a bit - cant just rely on my symptoms as a good indicator... Am hoping regular scans (next one is Nov 21) might get me through - could be completely wrong but I still have a pretty good feeling about this Bean. Am working hard on maintaining the Zen of Jen

Have been lurking and reading very regularly - think we must be due for a run of very soon...



xx

[RuthiePCOS momma]

Mannie: I totally forgot you and I were Due Date Buddies Aaww.. momma.. We both would have been 19w and 2 days??.. (something like that) one week away from finding out... (maybe we would have already I found out Erick's sex at 17w)

I hope you are healing.... I am trying to make the most of it all.. even if I still to this day break down to cry. It's just in the process. Hang in there with me sweet momma!!
We are in this together. In 2007 at about this time of the year I was planning out my TTC journey for 2008.. The plan worked... even if it ended this way.

I know we both will have our bundle.. so cheers to 2009.. I know 2009 has a baby (or TWO!!!!) on it's sleeve for us!!!!


KrystieLove, Jenushka: My HCG levels dropped to zero a week and a half after my D&C.
To the point that I (painfully knowing the result) bought a few $ tree HPTs and ALL came back Snow white negative

So I know that if I see something it is the real deal. Once you miscarry the latest you could still have some HCG lurking is two weeks later.... it's been close to 2 months now.. no way.
Let's see.. in a few hours I will POAS.. heheehh (well like 9-10 more hours??.. Sorry I sleep in on Saturdays.. BBWWHAAHAH!!!)

******ssssiiiiiigggghhhhhhhh******

Blah.. let's see what comes up.

I love you both so much and am HONORED to have found you in this thread!!! ♥