smilanatu... Ohhh hun... you are about to go through exactly what I just went through the last few weeks... only way I can put it is to say that it suck.... big time. Only suggestion I can give would be to be true to yourself... allow your feelings to just be what they are.... and do it just One Day At A Time..... its they only way to get through it. I dont normally refer people to my blogs but this time I will because I have a feeling it will help you.
Just deal with it in a way that is true to you..... cry... yell... scream... throw things... whatever.. one day at a time.
You REALLY have to find a way to let that last pregnancy go. You wouldn't be
38 weeks because your not. You aren't pregnant with that baby any more. That baby is gone. You have to let go.I honestly think this may be bothering you SO bad too because for once in your life Sheli can't MAKE something happen you have no control over whether you get pregnant or not. You can try but, it's not something you can force to happen. I am not in any way saying that's the only reason you want it so bad, because of the control part of it. I know it is WAY deeper then that but, I am just saying that is in there too. Have you thought about it that way? I mean asked your self why do I want another baby SO bad?
Oh, smilanatu... People need to learn to open their ears and keep their mouths shut! It's amazing that the ones you think will offer the most support and understanding, are the ones that hurt us the most! I'm so sorry for her lack of support! She's obviously never had a m/c, so she shouldn't even offer any advice as to how you would/should cope with it! Go sock her up! ( j/k) Sending an unlimited supply of just for you!!
KL - Tommorrow you'll be 11 DPO. I don't think that's too early. I was planning to POAS at 10DPO.
Smilanatu - Maybe it's implantation spotting? Let's hope so. Don't worry about the "all about me thing" that's what we're here for
Just read the email from your BF. Are you sure she's your BF? She needs a kick in the a$$. Send her over to see me. That makes me so mad!! I am so sorry you had to read that. We love you and understand. You think and feel what you like and just tell her to pi$$ off until she is prepared to put herself in your shoes. What's her phone number?! I am so mad I am nearly crying for you...
Angel - those poems are beautiful. They say it all don't they.
Sorry, I would love to say that yours was beautiful too, but couldn't bring myself to read it. Am feeling quite emotional this morning ... not regarding my MC ... not sure why. So sorry I didn't read it. Perhaps another time.
Jen - Sorry - had to skip yours too.
Jen - Ha! I am so number 34 & 36 of your "you know you're addicted when...". KIDS! Go and run around, mum needs the computer!!!
I normally do copy my posts. And I thought about it several times through that post. I said to myself, "no need to copy anymore, you know how to work this thing now" ... NOT!
Now for a bit of .... Ctrl A, Ctrl C
Chart's lookin good, Jen. Keep in the competition. I think you're a little ahead of me, since we haven't BDed for over a week now!!
Molly - I can't beleive you've ran out of tests. You poor thing.
Tina - I'm sooo excited for you!! Hope you get a BFP on Saturday.
AFM - What's going on with my chart? Why is it dropping?? Although when I compare it to last month's when I actually was UTD, it hasn't dropped to near the cover line, so I guess that's good, yeah?? Mind you, AF wouldn't be here to drop it yet anyway I suppose.
I vote we change AF to UF, Uncle Frank. After all, isn't it men that give us the *****s??
Once again, my time at the computer this morning has caused my fingers to become as cold as the red and white pole outside Santa's house.
Little tired today. Is that good? Is that good????
KL - Waiting to hear those 3 little letters ... BFP
Vanaithi - Missing you hun. Hope you're coping ok without your computer and BB. Hope you've been BDing a lot too! I'm guessing today's your O day!!
Molly - Waiting to hear aBFP from you too.
Tina - What's going on? Where's your post telling us your UTD??
Teen - Hope this month is a little more settled for you.
Tutmae - A little blue dot!! Yeah! Welcome to the addiction.
Sorry, if I have missed anyone else ... I don't have the link to your chart. Please post it in your signature, so I can stalk you too!!
:goodluck2: to all those testing soon (including me!!!!)
And to those who are already lucky enough to have found that special stick that will come up with 2 red lines (where do you buy those ones from ... I don't want the ones that will only come up with one line!!!)
for you, all will be just fine while he's away. Rent some movies, grab the popcorn, set up a mattress in the loungeroom, and veg till he gets back! Just remember to do your 30 mins of gentle exercise each day and drink your 2L of water.
smilanatu...OMG hun... its taken a while for me to post after that... I would have kept the moderators busy editing my post.
I m trying so hard to not think ugly things because I want to assume that she had no calus in what she said and she really does think she is trying to help you. I will say one thing... she does not wear the shoes we wear.
I am wearing a pair of shoes.
They are ugly shoes.
Uncomfortable shoes.
I hate my shoes.
Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair.
Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step.
Yet, I continue to wear them.
I get funny looks wearing these shoes.
I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs.
They never talk about my shoes.
To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable.
To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.
But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.
I now realize that I am not the only one who wears these shoes.
There are many pairs in this world.
Some woman are like me and ache daily as they try and walk in them.
Some have learned how to walk in them so they don?t hurt quite as much.
Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by before they think about how much they hurt.
No woman deserves to wear these shoes.
Yet, because of these shoes I am a stronger woman.
These shoes have given me the strength to face anything.
They have made me who I am.
I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child.
and the other one
Just Say I'm Sorry!
You don't know how I feel
Please don't tell me that you do
There is just one way to know - have you lost a child too?
"You'll have another child!" - must I hear this each day?
Can I get another Father , too, if mine should pass away?
Don't say it was 'gods will'
That s not the god I know.
Would god on purpose break my heart,
Then watch as my tears flow?
"aren't you better yet"?
Is that what I heard you say?
NO! A part of my heat aches -
I ll always feel some pain.
You think that silence is kind,
But it hurts me even more.
I want to talk about my child
Who has gone through death?s door.
Don't say these things to me,
Although you do mean well.
They don't take the pain away;
I must go through this hell.
I will get better slow but sure -
And it helps to have you near.
But a simple "I m sorry you lost your child"
Is all I need to hear.
I would suggest reply to her by saying, I would suggest you research a bit before commenting on something you dont know, give her my web site if you want... and end the email with... I hope you never understand because to truely understand you would have had to have lost a child yourself
Last edited by Baby Angels; July 10th, 2008 at 02:36 AM.
you know what, once again... I just dont understand some people.
I know there are people who have had a miscarriage who think its nothing, including a large portion of the medical profession who "write it off" before 20 weeks...... but I just dont understand them. That was and is your baby, your child, your son or daughter and they will always be a part of your life.
My little angels sit by me every day, I have an urn with them. I have a bracelet with 2 hearts engraved with my sons initials and booties with my angels initials... no it s not morbid, its a mother remembering her children who died.
Ohhh goodness.... I m on my high horse again.... I m sorry.... Smilanatu... WE are here for you and WE understand.... If you were here I would just hold my arms out to you and you can cry and your heart out and I would just hold you.
Angel B--That second poem is great (well, the first one is, too, but I've read it many times before) don't think I've ever read the second one! Did you write them yourself?
jen.... No, I didnt write them, When I lost my angels I spent so much time trying to find answers and searched the internet for many many many hours for days and weeks. I ended up putting what I found into a web site..... my web site below.... so that it might help someone who is going through what we have been through.
I did however write this one
Cameron Azrael & Krystal Sariel
We'll never get to hold you,
Or look upon your face.
We'll never get to show you,
Our love through our embrace.
We'll never have the feeling,
Of you calling out to us.
We'll never know the feeling,
Of you looking up to us.
Why you were taken away from us ,
We'll never really know.
We look around for a sign,
As to why you weren't to grow.
There is nothing we can do right now
Our minds are an absolute mess.
There is confusion, sadness, sorry,
And anger I must confess.
Our tears can not bring you back,
Back into our world.
You are gone from us on this plain
We'll meet again I know.
So until that time I ll say to you,
And you must listen to your mummy.
Watch out for us when we come one day,
Your mummy and your daddy
Last edited by Baby Angels; July 10th, 2008 at 02:37 AM.
People need to learn to open their ears and keep their mouths shut! It's amazing that the ones you think will offer the most support and understanding, are the ones that hurt us the most! I'm so sorry for her lack of support! She's obviously never had a m/c, so she shouldn't even offer any advice as to how you would/should cope with it! Go sock her up! (
j/k) Sending an unlimited supply of 
just for you!!
We love you and understand. You think and feel what you like and just tell her to pi$$ off until she is prepared to put herself in your shoes. What's her phone number?! 
to those who are already lucky enough to have found that special stick that will come up with 2 red lines (where do you buy those ones from ... I don't want the ones that will only come up with one line!!!) 
for Saturday!
How hard that must've been for you to write... I wish I could find the words to create my own- my skills as a poet, well, let's just say I suck!
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