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thread: Trying to Conceive after Miscarriage or Loss ~ March 2009

  1. #163
    Registered User

    Jul 2006

    Hey all,

    Will try to catch up on personals, but feel that I may be posting something that is no longer relevant, sorry if I do this.

    mrzbaby - I feel a bit strange doing this, but sending you AF.... Intersting how the universe works - obviously you are meant to be ttc with us! yay!

    Charm - Here's some AF vibes for you too! Hopefully she will get that I don't want her to visit and to make a couple of stops for you & mrzbaby!

    Cherished - Welcome. Sorry that you are joining us under terrible circumstances. But as the other lovely ladies have said, you will find lots of support and we all can relate to what you are going through.

    Mel - Argggg! Sorry to hear the blood test wasn't positive. Hoping you have a great time in Melbourne.

    Hannah - You are not admitting defeat - just getting a bit of help, nothing wrong with that. People get help for other things all the time. Sounds like all the signs are positive for this month!

    Sally - Our mums think they are trying to help. Mine tells me all the time that 'it will happen' and try not to worry about it. argggg! what the? You are the only one that needs to feel right about ttc. If you feel right now, then go for it. I don't know of any medical reason for not ttc straight away. All my gp said to me was to wait a couple of cycles, but I m/c naturally, so I beleive it was to make sure everything was gone.

    erybery - Hugs babe. I don't know what to say.

    Possums - GL with ttc naturally. I hope you get your bfp before going to resort to ivf.

    Babymiracles - Best of luck for your wedding. we will miss you for the short time you are away. Are you going on a honeymoon?

    mummyofthreeboys - Hope the witch stays well away. Hopefully you are just having a bad moment.

    coco - hugs. I don't know if a blood test at 12dpo would show anything promising. I don't know how quickly HCG levels show up. It is hard not to have those feelings, when it should be us pg! Best to vent than bottle it up.

    meh - you don't sound loopy. It's hard to try to bd for fun, when ultimately you want to be pg.

    greenslw - I don't know why somepeople say what they do. My guess is, as usual they wern't thinking and just talking and that crap come out! Demand a plan now!

    fificlaire - Thanks for popping in. It is nice to know that we are still thought of when others are pg. Plus, you can spread some positive baby vibes around for us! Hope all is well with your pg.

    Shortcake - Sorry to hear no af for you yet. Good to hear they have a plan of attack,hoping the 2 weeks go really fast.

    Hello to everyone else, this post has taken longer than I thought, so I will try to pop in more regularly.

    Nothing to report here... just went shopping and spent a whole heap of money. I think I am spending money to make myself feel better. Hmm.... could be an expensive exercise.

    Take care everyone

  2. #164

    Hannah--You are NOT admitting defeat by taking meds to try to control your depression! Like Shortcake said, depression is a chemical imbalance--and you've said yourself that it's something that you've been dealing with for some time. You've given it every ounce of effort to manage on your own, but sometimes things like this can't be managed on our own.... and like cherished said, it's doesn't have to be a permanent solution! I took Zoloft in the past, and I have to admit that I called it my "happy pill"-- I truly think that it was something that was beneficial to my needs at the time, as I started taking it after my first 3 m/c's. We do what we have to do to feel better--not only better, but just to feel human sometimes. I think you're not only courageous, you're dedicated to making you dream of a family come true! If you were defeated, you would simply give up.... you're more determined and dedicated than ever--that's a positive achievement that you should be proud of! I wish I could somehow get you to see yourself in a different light than you do--the way WE all see you, and the way your DH sees you-- you really have so much to be proud of yourself for! Maybe the meds will help that sink into your head!
    Jen You are Soooooo right as usual!

    Hannah...... There is confusion sometimes between depression as in .... "I m Sad or Upset"..... and Depression as in a "Mental Illness.... a Chemical Imbalance" They are so far removed from each other. Unfortunately I am not a novice on this subject and would not be here today without the high levels of medication I had to take daily in order to beat it. So 'giving up' is not taking medication 'giving up' is allowing the illness (and thats exactly what it is an ILLNESS) to take over you. There is no difference between taking medication for some other illness as what there is taking medication for a mental illness. I myself had to make the decision after losing my angels whether my health was able to cope with going straight back into TTC or going back onto some medication to balance my serotona levels. Because over the years I had learnt many Cognative Therapies to use day to day I decided to go back into TTC. Whether that was the right decision I dont know.....It made it very difficult with numerous days where I felt on the edge of falling, maybe it would have been better to take the time but we feel like we have our backs up against the wall sometimes when it comes to TTC like that clock keeps ticking louder and louder.

    Please Hannah...... look after your health as your first priority.... your little babies that are on their way in your future need their mummy to be strong and healthy.

  3. #165
    Registered User

    Oct 2008

    Hi everyone,

    Sorry I don't have time for many personals today but I wanted to thank everyone for all their support and wishing me well for Melbourne. I am really looking forward to it and hope to have a weekend away from thinking about TTC! Planning on spending heaps of money to make myself feel better!

    Rhi - DH & I got to the point where each month we would buy something every time we weren't pg. It does cheer you up to a point. At least we ended up getting all the furniture we needed! I think we are entitled to spoil ourselves and if it helps ease the pain just a little then I say go for it!

    Jen - You make me laugh, I did actually used to dance on tables in my younger, crazy days with the friend I am going to Melbourne so watch out! Will tell DH to take a pic if it happens, although now I am older I would probably fall off and break a leg

    coco - Pair of shoes coming your way!

    sally - Try not to be too hard on your mum, I'm sure she is just looking out for you and doesn't want you to ever have to go through the pain of losing a baby again

    Hannah - Hope you are feeling more positive about the meds, just try to take one day at a time

    Megsmum - Thanks! Wow, you are 20 weeks already! Are you going to find out the sex?

    Greenslw - Glad you have such a supportive partner who is there for you. From what I have read we are all very lucky to have such wonderufl partners. That is something to be grateful for when we feel the whole world is against us.

    cherished - It's called being dedicated, not addicted

    shortcake - Still sending AF vibes your way. I know how you feel

    Still no AF in sight so I am either having a longer cycle or the op has delayed it. I guess it was similar to a D&C so maybe it will take 6 to 8 weeks to come back? It has been 5 already. Hoping it stays away for the weekend but if I haven't got it by the time I get back I might be asking you all to send me AF vibes (it feels weird saying that!).

    Wow, I wrote a longer post than expected. Better go and get ready!

  4. #166
    Registered User

    Mar 2009
    Inglewood, WA

    Mel - I know, so true what you are saying. Im just so lost and trying to find the way for me and I guess Im just wanting maybe a little more support.

    Im just scared I guess. This wasn't supposed to happen to me and Im scared this could be it, what our life is. Silly I know Im only 26 and maybe in a year I'll be eating my words, its just not a year and Im not pregnant.

    megsmum - so after you d & c you waited for your cycle to start again before TTC?

    cherished - we are still working on when to start trying after a d & C. I've gotten lots of mixed messages... I THINK we have decided to start trying after the start of my first cycle. I didn't miscarry, I was terminated after 12 weeks so I worry that makes it different. Hopw some of this helps.

    Greenslw - I think it was pretty good. Keep hearing SO much more about it now I started. So strange!!

    Jen - Yeah it was good, I think if nothing else then for the relaxation aspect, 30 minutes I get to chill out a bit and just be looked after!!

    evening one else, hope your day was the best one yet!!


  5. #167
    Registered User

    Jan 2009

    hi everyone.. can't post persies tonight as my 9yo needs help with his homework argh, i hate homework lmao.... i had 4 pages to catch up on chatterboxes lol :P

    thinking of everyone who has had a hard time over the last few days :hugs:

    afm - i went back to the specialist today to have the swab done.... the spotting has started. hopefully i will get the results back monday afternoon. will let you know how we go.. on and he is just checking for "mild infections" that may have caused the m/c... *fingers crossed*

    goodnight and take care everyone xx

  6. #168
    Steph29 Guest

    Hi Boble
    Thanks for directing me here from BD. Hope everything goes ok and you get some answers soon
    I see the doc tomorrow to determine whether or not I need a D&C.

  7. #169
    Registered User

    Jan 2009

    Hi Steph

    Hi there Steph and welcome. You will find the women here are the most supportive people you will meet. As I said, they have been a godsend to me.. the support is just amazing.

    thats great that you have your doctors appointment tomorrow so you can get some answers! Thinking of you hun and I that once you are past the m/c part you get your bfp and forever baby very quickly xxx
    Last edited by boble; March 19th, 2009 at 07:27 PM. : typo

  8. #170
    Registered User

    Dec 2008

    just a quick one to let everyone know I feel somewhat normal again . I O'd all on my own since the M/C!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG. ( I told DH I think it is the OB everytime i go see him in his rooms I ovulate on my own !!!!!!) It is true the only 3 times since August last year I have ovulated have been the 3 times I have seen him!!! I also drank from the water dispenser...hmmmm might need to see him next month and not use the clomid...just a thought

  9. #171
    Registered User

    Dec 2008

    Sorry forgot with my delight i had a question.
    My Cm had old blood through it??? Could it been from my tubes, from the D&C's Any thoughts???? or could it be from the bleed i had on Monday still?
    Thanks Em

  10. #172


    Welcome to this wonderful group of ladies..... we have all been where you are, some of us in the exact place. Lean on everyone in here as much as you need, dont worry about wether you are leaning to heavily because the beauty of this room is that the day will come where someone will come in lost and bewildered and they will end up leaning on you, because you will be at a point where you are strong enough to let them.

    Its the one thing that makes our journeys bareable....... the support we get from one another, the knowing that someone out there understands.

    Huge Hugs Hun

  11. #173
    Registered User

    Mar 2008

    Angels 1&2-- Now you've gone and said the magic words: "Jen You are Soooooo right as usual!" You know, you'll probably regret saying those words to me one day! Now if only I could hear those words from DF's mouth!

    BTW, I'm sure you already know you're among friends!

  12. #174

    Jen Jen..... I thought ALL husbands.. or soon to be husbands.... knew how to say that line.... didnt you put it in your contract to make sure he says it to you weekly.... sort of like, yes I ll pretend your the head of the house as long as you know AND SAY that I m always right

  13. #175
    Registered User

    Mar 2008

    mrzbaby--Your Ob must have Jedi powers! Congrats on O'ing on your own! Do you think it would look weird if you went in with some big water jugs to fill up with the water from their dispenser?

    Not too sure about the CM, but I would think it's probably old blood that your body is naturally ridding itself of. Maybe you could give that magical Ob of yours a call just to make sure!

  14. #176
    Registered User

    Mar 2008

    Angels 1&2--Yeah right! You haven't met my DF!!! No, honestly, he'll admit when he's wrong, IF he really thinks he's wrong! Or I prove him wrong!

  15. #177

    Ok..... I confess... wishful thinking on my behalf as well...... DH is never wrong even when he is wrong he s still not wrong..... he s said sorry twice in about 7 years....... but hey... a girl can dream cant she....and besides, the important part is I know that Im right

  16. #178
    Registered User

    Mar 2008

    Steph-- You're in my thoughts and I'm so very sorry for what you're going through! What Angels 1&2 said is so beautifully stated, and so true! Feel free to vent here--you're among friends that understand!

    boble--Our little recruiter! Good for you! Best of luck with your swab results!

    Angels 1&2--See, your DH and my DF would probably not get along too well--they'd both always have to be right, so they'd butt heads!

  17. #179
    Registered User

    Mar 2008

    Ooooh, Smelly Mel the table dancer! This wasn't back in the deli days, was it? I'd pay to see a pic of you dancing on the table, just letting go and having a crazy fun time! You deserve it! Just don't overdo it--try to stay away from worshipping the porcelain god! And, please, no broken legs!

    Shortcake--When I called the dr's office to make my appt, they said the soonest one was May! So I had them send a note thru to the nurse (the same nurse I've had since '91, so it's great that I know her), and she's going to try to get me in sooner. She actually called yesterday to try and get me in yesterday, but it was minimum day at DS's school, and the appt. would've been right when I was picking him up and selling popcorn and pencils. Bummer.... so she's going to keep my name by the phone and call me when she gets a cancellation... but as of now, I don't even have one scheduled, so will keep everyone posted! Thanks for asking, btw! Try not to work yourself too hard!

    cherished--We love dedicated bb post-ers! You wouldn't believe how busy this thread used to be! Where now there's usually 1 thread per month, we used to easily go thru 2 per month! Some of us are chatterboxes--definitely makes for a better read! I used to post so much, I was accused by other bb members of not having a life!

    Greenslw--It always helps to stop and look at the view! Now what I really want to know is how the heck you got your whole class to go to sleep? I couldn't imagine any of the classes at the school I work actually choosing a nap over anything else! Did you bribe them, pay them, drug them? j/k of course! If I were you, I wouldn't be contemplating making a noise to wake them up, I'd be as quiet as possible... posting on bb!

    megsmum--Hope bubs cooperates for you on Mon! Can't wait to see a pic! That means I'll have to go snooping for the gallery again--I still don't have mine! Big *hugs* and bellyrubs for you!

    Rhi--Retail therapy freakin' rocks! lol... Hope it's helping you feel better!

  18. #180
    Registered User

    Mar 2008

    cherished--Forgot to mention that I didn't have a D&C, any my dr. still told me to wait 2 cycles to TTC again! Pffftttt! Easy for a man to say when they can't ever experience a m/c! I did so much research, and as I'm sure you've found out, different dr's say different things! I think the best advice is the general rule of one cycle, especially after a D&C. Some have gotten pg straight away, without ever having 1 cycle, and gone on to have a successful pg'cy... and some have gotten pg straight away, only to m/c again.... then there's some of us that are still trying....it's in God's hands, nobody ever knows the outcome. A quote from one of the songs I posted the other day is: "Forget the fear, it's just a crutch, that tries to hold you back and turn your dreams to dust... All you need to do is just TRUST" Just think of all the blind trust we give all the driver's on the road each day--the odds of an accident are much higher than the odds of a m/c! What was it... someone on here once said something like "You have to be in it to win it" ... something like that, right? Who was that? I thought it was a great statement, and so true! Just a thought.... hope it helps somehow!

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