Jen You are Soooooo right as usual!
Hannah--You are NOT admitting defeat by taking meds to try to control your depression!Like Shortcake said, depression is a chemical imbalance--and you've said yourself that it's something that you've been dealing with for some time. You've given it every ounce of effort to manage on your own, but sometimes things like this can't be managed on our own.... and like cherished said, it's doesn't have to be a permanent solution! I took Zoloft in the past, and I have to admit that I called it my "happy pill"-- I truly think that it was something that was beneficial to my needs at the time, as I started taking it after my first 3 m/c's. We do what we have to do to feel better--not only better, but just to feel human sometimes. I think you're not only courageous, you're dedicated to making you dream of a family come true! If you were defeated, you would simply give up.... you're more determined and dedicated than ever--that's a positive achievement that you should be proud of!
I wish I could somehow get you to see yourself in a different light than you do--the way WE all see you, and the way your DH sees you-- you really have so much to be proud of yourself for! Maybe the meds will help that sink into your head!
Hannah...... There is confusion sometimes between depression as in .... "I m Sad or Upset"..... and Depression as in a "Mental Illness.... a Chemical Imbalance" They are so far removed from each other. Unfortunately I am not a novice on this subject and would not be here today without the high levels of medication I had to take daily in order to beat it. So 'giving up' is not taking medication 'giving up' is allowing the illness (and thats exactly what it is an ILLNESS) to take over you. There is no difference between taking medication for some other illness as what there is taking medication for a mental illness. I myself had to make the decision after losing my angels whether my health was able to cope with going straight back into TTC or going back onto some medication to balance my serotona levels. Because over the years I had learnt many Cognative Therapies to use day to day I decided to go back into TTC. Whether that was the right decision I dont know.....It made it very difficult with numerous days where I felt on the edge of falling, maybe it would have been better to take the time but we feel like we have our backs up against the wall sometimes when it comes to TTC like that clock keeps ticking louder and louder.
Please Hannah...... look after your health as your first priority.... your little babies that are on their way in your future need their mummy to be strong and healthy.
chatterboxes lol :P
that once you are past the m/c part you get your bfp and forever baby very quickly xxx
just a quick one to let everyone know I feel somewhat normal again . I O'd all on my own since the M/C!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG. ( I told DH I think it is the OB everytime i go see him in his rooms I ovulate on my own 
I'm sure you already know you're among friends! 
Do you think it would look weird if you went in with some big water jugs to fill up with the water from their dispenser? 
You haven't met my DF!!! 
Best of luck with your swab results!
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