Trying to Conceive after Miscarriage or Loss ~ May 08

[Where there's hope]

* child mentioned *

Dear ladies

I hope you do not mind my joining your thread. I have been lurking on various forums since my MC on March 31 trying to learn what I can from people who have been through the same sad situation.

I am 37 (almost 38) and was fortunate to fall pregnant and have a trouble-free pregnancy giving birth to DD at 35. Because of the 3rd & 4th degree tearing (sorry TMI) DH and I were told to hold off delivering for another for 2 years. So we tried again last year and again conceived, only to lose the baby in September to a Trisomy just before 14 weeks. I had a D&C and it took a long time for my body to recover. We were told we were unlucky and to try again, managing a BFP early this year. Everything was going well, though there were unexpained high progesterone levels at the start. We saw a perfect HB at 7 weeks. Just after 10 weeks via ultrasound my OB said the baby had stopped growing at 8.5-9 wks. I was sent to have a D&C. This time my recovery was very quick. AF, though only two days, returned bung-on 28 days. We did BD last Sunday (Day 7)and it caused spotting - don't know if I should be concerned. So here I am on Day 11, after this first AF, charting, really keen to TTC, but my OB says if we do not wait for a 2nd cycle, I will have 3 times the miscarriage risk! I have googled and googled and the advice I keep coming up with seems to be just to wait for one cycle. My OB said it was to do with hormones in the follicles.

Also, this may sound a little premature, but we are about to embark on IVF with PGD. While we have been able to conceive I am really worried about the quality of my eggs.

Sorry to have laboured on, and I realise you are not doctors, but I would value your take on this. Any thoughts appreciated.
Thanks!

[plc1805]

Hello where there's hope - so so genuinely sorry for ur losses and all the grief you have been thru. I can relate to some of what u have experienced, i.e problem free first pg and 2 m/c since - in my case one was a chromosomal prob - bad egg (one of the Trisomy's) and the other was not chromosomal so likely to have been structural. I went to a naturopath earlier this year and she told me i had certain deficiencies in my body and i was to skip a cycle while taking her herbs etc cos I could run the risk of m/c again (don't know how much of that i believed in my case). It is so terribly hard when someone tells you to skip a cycle when you want to have had a baby yesterday I also decided to see an acupuncturist. So i wasn't exactly in the same situation as you and I'm obviously not a doctor. I don't want to intrude on ur choices (cos they are to be respected) but could you still TTC naturally cos obviously you can conceive but perhaps consult a natural therapies or chinese medicine/acupuncture specialist to make sure ur body is in good nick? For example, in chinese medicine the kidneys and spleen are extremely important for conception - kidneys for the quality of eggs and spleen for holding the baby up so to speak. My kidneys weren't the best and i have had several ap treatments and my kidneys have improved so much. I recently received a BFP (positive pg result) and I believe it has a lot to do with the subtle yet effective treatment I have been receiving. I realise I still have no guarantees. Where there's hope - I wish you all the best in the world but I personally think IVF should be the last option after all other options have been explored. It is so expensive for one but it is also an emotional rollercoaster and if there is any chance you can go a gentler road maybe that should be considered carefuully. Good luck sweet!

[bettyboop]

Hi and welcome wheres the hope, sorry for your loss, we are all here for you, great bunch of ladies on here . Hope you TTC is a short one.

[AJC]

vanaithi - good luck with the temping. Once you get used to it your cycle will be so easy to follow.

Where there's hope - Welcome. I'm sorry to hear of your losses. I'm sure you will find great support in here. It is very hard when your heart is telling you to ttc again and your head is hearing the docs words of waiting a cycle or two. For me we ttc again straight away after m/c # 1 but waited 4 months after m/c #2 to do some tests and recover emotionally. I am possibly embarking on the IVF journey soon too, although we have fallen pg twice before (naturally) we still don't have a bub. Plus we've recently learnt that DH has low sperm morphology so ob has referred us to IVF in 2 months time. We could possibly persevere for a while yet ttc naturally but we decided that IVF is what we will do. I think the main reason is that DH and I just have so much faith and confidence in our ob we truly believe he will lead us down the right path to a healthy bub. When we see him he makes us feel so confident that it will happen for us and it's a really reassuring feeling when you feel that you ob has the same goal you do. Where there's hope (can I call you WTH?) - I really hope your dreams come true and you are holding a beautiful bouncing bubba safely in your arms very soon.

Hugs and babydust to everyone

One day till the weekend

[jen805]

Vanaithi--Good luck with the charting, temping, and BT results!


Where there's hope-- to the thread. I'm so sorry to hear of your sad loss! I wish I could help you out with your questions. Honestly, I'm not sure what Trisomy is (though I'm going to do some research after this), so I'm not sure if there would be any reason to wait. I was very much in the same position where my doc told me to wait 2 months, but after tons of research I wasn't able to find any medical reason as to why I had to wait that long. I think in most cases it's a women's personal choice as to when she's ready to ttc again. Have you had all the blood work and pathology done to try to figure out a possible answer as to why you m/c? In my case I decided not to follow doc's orders and started ttc right away, but haven't fallen pg again yet, so my body must have not been ready. I know for me it will happen when it's supposed to, but it sure is hard waiting for my body to catch up with my brain! Huge luck to you, hun, whatever you decide. I pray your ttc journey is a short one!


plc--I'm curious, what's the treatment for problems with the kidneys and spleen, and how do they know if they're not working as they should? Do you have to take special herbs or something?


AJC--How's DH' s any good news? Can it change depending on what he's eating, or vitamins, etc..?

[smilanatu]

Hey ladies! How's everyone doing?

Sending...

[jen805]

Hey smilanatu! How's that pile on your desk coming along? Is there a light at the end of the tunnel, or is it a train coming at you? Hope it's getting better! How's the weather out there? Are you getting any of the wet weather that's been in the forecast?


Hey, treelo, long time no talk to! Still in the process of getting those pics on my computer, but we finally got a new ink cartridge, which I think will help. My printer kept telling me it was out of ink, but I figured it would still scan a pic to my computer, but it wouldn't. I'll see if I can get it figured out today! Hope you're doing well!


Hi Canary! I can't remember if you're the one that's away on a trip--are you the lucky one? sorry, seems my short term memory loss is waning! Hope you're well and having a great time!


mollycat--Hey cycle buddy! How's the extension coming along? Hope the weather's holding out for you. I think AF has finally left the building! How's things going with you?


Magda--I've been thinking about you a lot lately--truly hope things are ok with you!


tempus, mmteacher, anthonysmom (my US gals!) hope you're all doing well!!


JMG, nickster, Trac, Katiegirl, ll80, plc, (Natty????)--Hope you're all growing big and fat in all the right places! for you all!


Emmy-Lou, Mel, tutmae, Issy, pbstar, Jenushka, Abbey, Karan--Hope I got everyone--you're all in the TWW, right? It's so confusing trying to remember where everyone is without going back and losing my post! tina k, can't remember if you're in here or if you're stuck with the witch right now, but either way, hope you're well!

Angel Babies, chalalan, seenabeena, maybe baby, Gii Gii, Cieras mummy, mary m., Jodsan, and megsmum--Don't hear from you guys very often, but I hope you're all lurking and well!

The others not mentioned, I only didn't mention you because I think I already sent you posts earlier! Sorry if I left anyone out!

[Where there's hope]

Forgot to mention -
AJC - would love to share info with you about IVF. Are you doing it because of DH's sperm issue or to prevent further miscarriages with PGD? Sounds like you have a fantastic and supportive OB!

[Katiegirl]

Hi all. I haven't been posting much in here but I wanted you to know that I have been reading your posts and thinking of you all. I hope you are all doing well.

Where's the Hope - welcome and I am very sorry for both your losses. I hope you find much comfort and support here. You will realise very quickly that this is an amazing group of women. This forum helped me greatly after losing Nathaniel, and I hope you find the same comfort I did. I hope your stay here is a short one.

I wanted to add to the naturopath debate - and this is something I have posted about before so for those who have read this, you have the right to skip over - but I started seeing a naturopath 1 month after losing Nathaniel. I decided that I would do whatever it took to help ME feel I was moving forward and helping myself and my future chances of pregnancy. I have had regular naturopathic and kinesiology sessions since Jan, and I really do believe they have helped me mentally, emotionally and physically. My first ob (who I have since changed from) was quite dismissive of me seeing a naturopath, and I think that would be fairly common amongst drs. Some drs simply do not see the benefit of alternative medicine. My current ob is more open and he even has the brochure for the natural medicine clinic I attend in his rooms. I did get him to check the supplements I was given and he ok'ed them all.

So Where's the Hope - long story short - if seeing a naturopath or acupuncturist etc helps you in feeling you have some control over your body and are doing positive things for yourself and future pregnancies than I say go for it. I would suggest you see a naturopath who specialises in fertility as they will be able to offer advice on whether you need to start IVF yet or to wait - they would also be able to support you through your IVF journey.

That is all from me...sorry about the rant!

[tina_k]

hello girls:

please help! AF was due 3 days ago, still hasnt show, but im testing every morning, and still a HUGE BFN! this wait is killing me! Has anyone else had this experience?

WTH: welcome, hope you dont have to hang around too long!

jen: thank you again for your personalised message, they always make us feel special!

plc: hope all is going well with your pg...

...and all you other girls who are carrying special parcels i hope you are looking after yoursselves and enjoying it!!!!

hi to everyone else...sorry i cant get to you all...

ive gotta get packing as DH and i are going to Hong Kong tonight for 10 days...so i will miss you all! Im expecting lots of BFPs while im away ok!!!! still praying no AF for my holiday, but ive got some serious period pain this morning...not a good sign

[AJC]

tina - have fun in Honkers. Dh and I went there a few years ago and had a great time - it's a very lively city. You'll certainly get some good retail therapy that's for sure! Enjoy! Sorry about the BFN's - hopefully it's just too early. But if af arrives at least you'll be distracted by you fab holiday and by the time you get home (all nice and relaxed) it will be bd time and I'm sure it will be a BFP then!

WTH - we will be doing IVF because of DH's sperm issue. He is going for another test within the next few weeks so will be interesting to see if the results are still the same. He doesn't eat that well (shift worker) and hardly ever remembers to take his vitamins (although he's taken them every day since ob gave us the s/a results). He doesn't exercise as much as he should either so the results to be perfectly honest didn't really surprise me. I don't want to be too hard on him though but I know there are some things that he can do to improve his health and he has made an effort over the last few weeks so hopefully he'll keep it up and we might see the benefits in a few months time.

I certainly am not dismissing natural therapy either - I just had a bad experience with a kinesiologist last year, I was emotionally vulnerable and felt she was out to take advantage of me. I had told her about my m/c (only had one at that stage). She wanted to start me on all of these supplements which would cost in excess of $1500, i told her that it was very expensive and her reply was 'so is IVF'. That immediately annoyed me and I never went back to her or anyone else. I wish doctors and natural therapists could live together in harmony and work together for the benefit of their patient.

jen - like I said to WTH, DH is making an effort with the vitamins but I still don't think he is exercising enough or eating well enough. he's a shift worker and often skips meals. he does put on weight easily so he's been on the tony ferguson diet which is great but he will often just have one of their shakes for dinner. I've tried to encourage him to have the soup ones and add veges to it but quite frankly he's too lazy to pack it each morn or evening. It really frustrates me but I try to be patient because the last thing we need is to be upset at eachother.

mollycat - thanks for the babydust, glad your extensions are going well.

Have a great weekend everyone - sorry this post is so long but I really find so much comfort in talking to you all.

[Vanaithi]

Hello everyone!

Welcome Where There's Hope! I hope your stay here is short & sweet!

My bt has come back good for the rubella etc... & with the hpg test it was below 6 so non pregnant! i guess that does mean i may have ovulated on mon or tues cos my boobs were sore then. So i am doing the tww thing now? Feeling a bit emotional since last night... so not having many positive thoughts atm... feel like crying!

Well I hope everyone is doing well & to everyone! GOODLUCK!