Ruthie--Thinking of you today So sorry, hon, I wish I knew the right thing to say... I wish I could go back and fix everything for you! I'm so glad to hear you aren't giving up... just heard someone on Oprah say "Your past does not define your future" and it made me think of you... I have such faith that it will happen for you, so stay strong and keep your faith, even tho I know you aren't feeling it now! Sending you the biggest possible
Fab 2/3 Chyan's--You girls are absolutely the BEST!! You all made my day when I logged on and saw all three of you in chat! I thought for sure I was either dreaming or my eyes were seeing things! Thanks, Nuff, for hanging out at work for a chat--2 more weeks without internet at home??? Grrr! Still haven't had a chance to read your blog, but I've been so busy today--was at the school from 8-4! But I promise, I haven't forgotten, and I will get to it! Krystie--lots of bellyrubs and *kiss* *kiss*
Toccara--Thinking of you! Hope you're ok, love.
Babyfever--Ooh, tornadoes...scary! Stay safe!
Easha, joey, Chappas, megsmum, WTH, Van, dellydoo, Jade, hannah, babbs, & mannie for you all!!
Thanks, WTH!!! I do know what you mean, but don't think there's any way you could jinx me!
An unlimited and unending (is that redundant? lol...) supply of for my super-duper Krystie Chyan, Rachel (where've you been, girl?), fifi, larz, pbstar, tutmae, tina, plc, AJC, Katiegirl, Leyza, & nickster
Oops, almost forgot to shout out a to Emmykate!
smilanatu--It's FRIDAY!!!!! :woot: Thanks for the e-mails! I think I have a couple more for you, but I'll have to go thru my e-mails first! Hope you have a great weekend!
I just wanted to say thank you everyone for such kind words and thoughts. It really does mean a lot, and although I wish no one had to go through this experience it helps to talk to other people who understand what I am going through.
Also thanks to those who answered my questions about ovulating after miscarriage. I see fertility specialist next thursday so maybe they will start doing some hcg measurements then. Last one was when I found I had had lost my baby - when it had gone done from nearly 10000 to 4000 in under 48 hours. Still getting some bad pains - particularly right sided lasting anywhere between 4 and 12 hours a day - did anyone else have same experience after a D & C? I guess it has only been 5 days so am wondering if that is normal.
On a positive note, I should say that after the horrible initial hospital experience with the admitting nurse, once my doctor came to see me before the procedure and until I went home the care and compassion was wonderful. My ob/gyn has the most wonderful bedside manner, and i had a really lovely midwife sit and talk to me for ages in recovery whilst I was blubbering away. So although there will always be those medical people lacking compassion/tack - there are also so many out there that are worth there weight in gold.
Ruthie - you are in my heart and thoughts today
Looking forward to getting to know you all a bit more on this site.
xx
Me (37) DH (50)
IVF 1 cycle - BFP 5th September 2008 (6 weeks 4 days)
I used to sing this to my little angels when I knew they were going but were still there before I "delivered" them. I still sing it now. My thoughts are with you
Fly
Fly, fly little wing
Fly beyond imagining
The softest cloud, the whitest dove
Upon the wing of Heaven's love
Past the planets and the stars
Leave this lonely world of ours
Escape the sorrow and the pain
And fly again
Fly, fly precious one
Your endless journey has begun
Take your gentle happiness
Far too beautiful for this
Cross over to the other shore
There is peace forevermore
But hold this memory bittersweet
Until we meet
Fly, fly do not fear
Don't waste a breath, dont shed a tear
Your heart is pure, your soul is free
Be on your way, dont wait for me
Above the universe you'll climb
On beyond the hands of time
The moon will rise, the sun will set
But I won't forget
Fly, fly little wing
Fly where only angels sing
Fly away, the time is right
Go now, find the light.
A mighty wind blew night and day.
It stole the oak tree s leaves away,
They snapped its boughs and pulled its bark
Until the oak was tired and stark.
But still the oak tree held its ground,
while other trees fell all around.
The weary wind gave up and spoke,
"How can you still be standing, Oak?'
The Oak tree said,
"I know that you can break each branch of mine in two,
Carry every leaf away,
Shake my limbs, and make me sway.
But I have roots
stretched into the earth,
Growing stronger since my birth.
You'll never touch them, for you see,
they are the deepest part of me.
Until today, I wasnt sure
of just how much I could endure.
But now I ve found, with thanks to you,
I m stronger than I ever knew."
Well, The sever thunderstorms and tornado warnings are over with :-D thank god the one that was ontop of us never touched down. I called my best friend that is married that me and my husband hang out with shes got a son that was due same day hailey was I ended up going a week before her so Hailey my 2 year old is 1 week older than her son. She only has 1 child and I have 2. But, I now know the pain of you girls having family or friends that are pregnant. I find that pregnant woman in the OBs is hard expecahlly when I lost my baby a few months ago. I called to make sure she was okay shes like yeah Im in a differant state with hubby and our son is with my mom in the bastment shes like oh did you hear were expecting? I'm like no but congrats shes like I'm 7 weeks pregnant. I said I was pregnant too but I lost my baby shes like OH I'm sorry! Its like WTF. cant you be more senstiive?? I have a question This is kinda wrong but do you girls ever feel that woman that get pregnant fast and never miscarried are a little unsensitive to the matter? meaning they don't act like they care??? I'm so ****ed@!! I would have been 14 weeks pregnant and already showin and feelign the baby and a few weeks short on finding out the sex..If I was still pregnant.. I cannot believe this. I m happy shes pregnant with baby 2 but it still hurts how people flaunt it..
Babyfever.... NOONE knows this pain until they have experienced it themselves. I have known many people who had miscarried before I did. I clearly remember my response to them...... I was uncomfortable and ignorant. I dont mean that in a nasty way i mean it in the true meaning of the word. I didnt know. How could I have. I had my 2 sons, bright, healthy, loud sons. I didnt know the pain of losing a child. I knew my sons were precious but I didnt know the pain of losing a child. I didnt have any of them sit me down and tell me what it meant to miscarry your child.... I was ignorant.
I m soooooo sorry for your loss, just as I am sorry for everyones losses, just as I am sorry for my own loss. You would think with the figure close to one in twenty pregnancies ending in a miscarriage that people would be better informed. But that is not reality unfortunately and until it is we are going to be surrounded by people who just do not understand.
If you google october 15th you will see whats happening to try and make more people aware........ until people know... we can not expect them to understand. I know I didnt.
BABY FEVER - I have found myself thinking the same thing - do these pregnant women truly understand how difficult it is for us to watch them grow nice round tummies and tell us about the kicks and movements of their little one. I am sure they do not mean to be insensitive. I try and think about how i felt when i was pregnant (jsut 2 weeks ago).. and i remember i wanted to tell the world - i had this excitement that i couldnt contain.. i couldnt wipe the smile off my face.. i had all these plans and i wanted to share them.. I'm saying this because i think your friend is just caught up in the whirlwind of her pregnancy and that feeling of excitement. Of course, unless you have lost a child you cannot possibly understand the true misery and emptiness we feel. Everyone is different and their way of dealing is different.. some people want to talk about it, others want to be left alone. Many people dont know what to say because they dont know how u want to deal with it.. whether u would prefer to not talk about it or whether you just want to forget it happened. I know prior to my m/c i would see patients who had miscarried and i was always nice and sympathetic and felt awful for them, but even as their doctor i didnt know what to say or how to act.
At the moment i am still walking around seeing ladies with baby bumps and cursing and moaning that it isnt fair that they should be so lucky.. and i dont want to have anything to do with my friends (countless of them) who are pregnant. It is not that i dont care about them, it is just that it is too much of a reminder to me at the moment. If they are true friends then they understand that.
As for me.. my nausea has subsided a little... i think i am putting too much weight on it. Afterall it is so early after my m/c. I did POAS and it was a BFN so that was disappointing but i wasnt really expecting it to be positive. I mean even if i was pg i doubt i'd have enough bhCG to make it positive... which i guess means that i wouldnt have enough bhCG to make me sick so who knows... maybe it is just because my cycles are getting back in order... afterall i havent had a period since coming off the pill in april. I'm trying not to feel too hopeful but in the back of my mind i am still praying that maybe something is happening in there. you just never know..
time is the best medicine for almost all complaints.
Have just Found out i've had i Missed M/C...what nexted?
hi I've jut found out today that i lost my little buby, i was meant to be 9wks 3 days today but the ultrasound said i was only 7wks, no heartbeat . Me and my partner are heartbroken as this was our first and i've have recently be told i have PCOS.i'm greatful to have had the chance and look forward to trying again,but i was wondering wheather any of u guys could tell me when its safe to start trying again, or is it different for everyone? i'm booked in to have a D/C in the nexted couple of days thanks for listening hope to ear for anyone with any comments any would be welcomed
thanks
babyjubz....... I m sooooooo sorry for your loss. I know there is nothing I can say that will make it any better. I will say, as the ladies in here have heard me say many times....... Be true to you right now. Allow your emotions, allow the anger, the frustration, allow the sorry, the pain.... all of it regardless of how much it hurts... allow it. DONT push it aside it will only last longer. Allow everything you feel... be true to you and do not try and act how you think people think you should.
As for starting again.... completely up to you. I know a lot of ladies found it easier to heal by trying straight way..... Medically they suggest minimum 1 cycle for 2 main reasons, firstly for the lining to heal and the second one false pregnancies. Many women who have TTC straight after a miscarriage still have some HCG in their systems. Which can give a false BFP. So they are thrilled, thinking they are pregnant and then they think they have miscarried again when either their period arrives or they get a negative result.
For me, the first 2 weeks there was no way I could think of trying again, by the third week I was desperate to try again........ Nearly 10 months later and I m still desperate to try again..... OHHH well.. at least Hubby cant say he doesnt get any hey
Last edited by Baby Angels; September 13th, 2008 at 02:40 PM.
Angel - I love that first song. We actually have that one picked for my dad's funeral (when he decides to go) - He has been very ill for the last 20 years and we thought we were going to lose him in June 2007 when he broke his hip and needed an operation to have it fixed, he has only 17% of his heart working. He surprised everyone and he's still with us.
Babyfever - Glad that tornado left you alone. I agree with Angel, until you have experienced a m/c yourself there is no way you can feel or understand the pain. I fell pg with my first son on the pill, never had been around anyone with m/c. Didn't know that I would have so much trouble having DS2 (three years TTC and clomid). Had no idea it would take me 10 years, diagnosis of PCOS and endo, clomid yet again, ops and tests to finally fall pg with my angel baby. Never dreamed in a million years that I would m/c, even when I began to bleed (which I had with DS2), I just thought it would be the same, a few days rest and everything would be okay. It still annoys me when women fall pg so easily, but I know it's only because I can't.
Babyjuz - Sorry to hear that you are going through the heartbreak of a m/c and have had to join this group. Everyone heals differently and everything you feel is completely understandable. It is no consolation but m/c is much more common than we think. 1 in 3 pregnancies miscarry but many women go on to have healthy pregnancies in the future. I didnt need a D&C so i can't imagine how tormenting it must be for you to have to wait to have it done.
With regards to TTC again.. i agree with the other girls. Everyone is different. I wouldnt let my hubby touch me for the first week. I just felt revolting/useless/damaged etc. But after that i enjoyed being intimate with him because it made me feel closer to him, and like he accepted things and that was a comfort for me. I wasnt worried about waiting too long afterwards because i didnt need a D&C, had stopped bleeding after 3-4 days, had no pain and an ultrasound said my endometrial lining was back to normal. Everyone's body is different though. It would be best to ask when you have the D&C.
Most importantly it is your body - and only you know how you are feeling. There is no right or wrong way to grieve for your loss. The women on this forum are amazingly uplifting.. even in times of distress/hurt/pain/loss.
My thoughts are with you during this tough time. xx
Thanks to everyone for welcoming me here....i've felt that your words have given me hope and courage to know there's a light at the end on this horrible tunnel,i thank u guys also for your advise,and will take it with me when forever to come,i'd love to continue chatting with u guys as i've found this site to be of great support and help
thanks again and i'll keep in touch, i also wish you guys all the best and am very sorry for your loses, my hearts go out to you and your in my thourghts.
Im back again. So sad to see new faces and glad to see some of the old ones are not in here. After a few crappy months (incl. the due date for my angel baby) im back for a while before we start trying again. I like that this thread is full of support and understanding and i feel i can type in here without being judged...
On another note, i have been diagnosed wiht PCOS I dont know what this means for me in terms of TTC again because my doc wasnt very forthcoming with information for me andthings that i have found on the net are not making very much sense. Is this the end for me in terms of TTC? Do i even have a chance of getting PG again? The doc said to me that the best thing i can do for my PCOS is to lose weight (which i need to any way but still) and that i "cannot try to concieve" until i have done so. It is so hard for me to lose weight and i put it on so easily. I feel like i will never be pregnant and hold my much wanted baby. The doc also suggested that i go on Metformin but not until i have lost 10% of my current body weight...
Its so hard because i just want to TTC right now but i cant
hi im new to BB have never posted before but often read other posts for advise and comfort. Im 25 and was diagnosed with PCOS earlier this year and my gynae started me on metformin and clomid as i went 14 months without a visit from AF. i was so excited when the test was positive but happiness soon changed to tears when i m/c at 6 weeks. i wasnt given a d&c and bleed for 38 days before hospital finally did the d&c.7 weeks later and still no AF so today is day 5 of clomid and am praying that this month will bring me good news.
Emmykate--So sorry to hear of your BFN... it's cruel sometimes the way our bodies can trick us. Since my hcg took about 6 weeks to get back to normal, it left my body feeling very confused and still very pg! I can remember thinking that maybe the dr. was wrong, maybe the u/s was wrong, I still had all my pg'cy symptoms--the insomnia, increased hunger, swollen bb's, some nausea.... More than 6 months later I still feel such a strong desire just to be pg! I just want to have those symptoms back that I had been so annoyed with then! The self-destructive thoughts I had early on after my m/c were that I had something to do with it, that I complained too much about feeling sick, and over the lack of sleep, and the weight gain, and how it better be a girl since I already have 2 boys... I felt like it was punishment for taking advantage of the gift I had been blessed with--for not being grateful for that gift. It took me a long time to stop that slideshow that just seemed to be set on "replay" in my mind... and then I found this site. It makes me just to think how important the girls here are to me.... especially the ones who were here before me.... I don't know where I would be without the unwavering support I have received from the friends I've made here. It's amazing, I never would've thought that I could connect so deeply with people that I've never even seen or met before--people that listen, care, support, advise, and, more importantly, know what it feels like! They laugh with you, and cry with you, and send you e-cards on your EDD (thanks, Angel! Love you! ). I found myself consumed with this site--and the progress of the other girls, and it has helped me in my healing process because it gave my mind something to think of other than my own grief and despair.
I that your body gets back to normal quickly and that you're blessed with a little miracle to hold in your arms! Oh, btw, you mentioned you're a doctor--what's your area of practice?
Whew! Is it me, or was that a really long post?
babyjubz, Abbey, & Rachel B--I'm so very sorry for your losses! I'm also sorry that we have to meet under such heartbreaking circumstances... the support here is amazing... please feel free to vent, cry, scream, yell, ask questions--whatever you need to get off your chest--there's no stupid questions here, and more importantly I think, there's no judgement here. You'll know when the time is right for you to begin TTC again... for me I wanted to begin right away--the longing and desire just to be pg again is overwhelming still! To this day, I still have a harder time looking at pg women than babies, yet I find myself staring at pg bellies everywhere I go! It's a longing that I can't even describe, yet I don't have to because the girls here just KNOW. There's something very comforting in the fact that you're surrounded by people who JUST KNOW what you're feeling without ever having to put it into words. My doc wanted me to wait 2 mo's before TTC (natural m/c, no D&C) ... I thought, "screw him, let him m/c and tell himself to wait 2 mo's!". I think it's a decision each woman should get to make on her own whenever she's ready--a simple u/s can verify whether the lining in your uterus is thick enough. I know with a D&C it takes a little longer because of healing issues, though, compared to that of a natural m/c. And I also know you won't O (ovulate) until your hcg has returned to normal, so therefore you can't become pg again until then, either. I'm also sorry to hear of your diagnosis with PCOS--several other girls here have PCOS, and also have experience with the Metformin and Clomid, so I'm sure they can help answer any questions you may have about that. I wish you all the best on your TTC journey--I pray your stay here with us is short and sweet, and you're all blessed with your little miracles very quickly! Big
Last edited by jen805; September 14th, 2008 at 12:22 AM.
: typos
So sorry, hon, I wish I knew the right thing to say... I wish I could go back and fix everything for you! I'm so glad to hear you aren't giving up... just heard someone on Oprah say "Your past does not define your future" and it made me think of you... I have such faith that it will happen for you, so stay strong and keep your faith, even tho I know you aren't feeling it now! Sending you the biggest possible
*kiss* *kiss*
Easha, joey, Chappas, megsmum, WTH, Van, dellydoo, Jade, hannah, babbs, & mannie
for you all!!
Thanks, WTH!!! I do know what you mean, but don't think there's any way you could jinx me! 
for my super-duper Krystie Chyan, Rachel (where've you been, girl?), fifi, larz, pbstar, tutmae, tina, plc, AJC, Katiegirl, Leyza, & nickster
5th September 2008 (6 weeks 4 days)
Have just Found out i've had i Missed M/C...what nexted?
just to think how important the girls here are to me.... especially the ones who were here before me.... I don't know where I would be without the unwavering support I have received from the friends I've made here. It's amazing, I never would've thought that I could connect so deeply with people that I've never even seen or met before--people that listen, care, support, advise, and, more importantly, know what it feels like! They laugh with you, and cry with you, and send you e-cards on your EDD (thanks, Angel! Love you! 
that your body gets back to normal quickly and that you're blessed with a little miracle to hold in your arms! 
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