TTC after Miscarriage or Loss ~ April 08

[Canary]

I am sitting here with a HUGE grin on my face,
Congratulations Trac!!

As for you, Nickster, that's so exciting- possibly twins- wahey! Of course, a healthy bub and a healthy you are the important things, so it is great to hear you are doing OK.

TM- GL for the test. BFPs seem to be coming in two's, I've got everything crossed!!

plc1805- It is really weird about your dream- I have been having dreams about spiders for years, but have never bothered to find out what they mean- if you ever discover the meaning, let me know!

Natty- Sorry you are feeling stressed. I hope that things go OK with the interview, whatever you decide.

Thanks for your encouragement this month girls, like you say, I'm quite chilled out at the moment and think that i'll be OK when AF gets here. Will defo bring some cyber wine (red, of course) to share!

[bettyboop]

tempus fingers crossed for you, and everyone else about to test.

[mollycat]

Trac - congratulations what a wonderful christmas present.
Nickster - possibly twins you've got so much love to share, can tell that by the way you "talk" to us -
Betty - glad the op went well - told you that you would have it. Now the next mission is to get a BFP
Natty - hope your test comes back great - stop stressing you won't be flat for very long - in a few months time you'll be out shopping for some new clothes .... oh...retail therapy....
Angel Babies - glad you're still around, don't you worry about your age, cause then I'll have to worry about being right behind you. I'll be 38 in 11 days time, i think that's scary enough
to all the others with wishing you all the best
and for the rest of us

Canary - you're too slow I just opened the cyber wine - can't have too much though, i start work in half hour and need to drive today.

[Katiegirl]

Hi all - I will post more later but I wanted to send a big congratulations to Trac!!! I hope the next months pass with happily. We are all on this journey together.

Tempus - good luck with testing. I have my fingers crossed for you and will say a special prayer.

Will be back later with more personals but have to rush off to a meeting.

[Anthonysmom]

hey ladies - just want ed to say Yeah for Trac

and Nickster

I love all the good news in here.

barbara

[plc1805]

Hey ladies!!!!! Well if it's not one thing it's another. Yesterday I had strong heart palps for 20 mins and went to doc who suggested I get attached to a monitor for 24 hrs. So that's what I did this morning and I now have wires everywhere til tomorrow morning - so annoying. Just don't want anything standing in my way when we can finally TTC - sigh!

First of all, bday buddy, c'mon hun, that's not like you. Don't you know everyone is saying 40 is like the new 30. So by my calcs, ur only turning 29 . Breathe in and out and do whatever but get back to positivity hun cos so many women are becoming mums for the first time in their 40's. As long as you and DH have got that blanket of love happening, then there is hope for you for a good long while to come. If I make some cake, will that help? I'll make ur favorite - what would you like? Bottom line is - you can have an off day here or there but then gotta get back to some positive motivation....

Tempus - how r u doing hun? Remember we're all sitting on ur shoulder (cos we are all feather-weights ) keeping an eye out for you. Let us know how things are.....

Canary - will def keep u posted re dream - the good thing in it was thatmy deceased grandma was in it (whom I was very very close to) and she was handing me the the spray for the spiders - makes me think she is protecting me from whatever the dream might be suggesting - who knows? Btw, when is AF due hun?

Natty - take care sweet and try to keep strong and positive. I never did have pg symptoms with DS apart from mild nausea maybe a couple of times later in 1st trimester. Huge hugs hun - gotta believe ul be fine!

Hello to every other lovely lady in here - ur each worth a mountain of gold to me! Let's get some more in here!!!

[Mel A]

Hi all

I've been a busy little beaver and havn't been posting for awhile, but i've been keeping up.

Trac, Congratulations. ance:

everyone else i'm crossing fingers toes amd sending out to all.

In my reading i saw PLC1805had a dream about Spiders so i thought i'd share
In some traditions, Spider is the creator Goddess who spun the world into being. With her eight legs and gift of weaving, spider is the creative totem, the Spider is a link to the past and the future, birth and creation. When the spider crawls into our awareness it is asking us to rebuild the web of our life.
I generally look up animals on this site animal totems, their healing power, spiritual teachings and hidden messages.

Must fly Ive booked a full body scrub and a facial, a bit of pampering on this journey
Cheers Mel

[mollycat]

tm - yes, it's used for breast cancer treatments, apparently it does the same as clomid for fertility, dosage is obviously different (i'm on from day 3 to 7, breakfast, lunch and dinner). just hope it works.

[cheekyfrog]

Hello you wonderful ladies!! I've been dropping in to see how you're going and I'm here now to spread some and to share some information that I found on the babymed website. I hope this helps reassure you, Natty!

Caution must be used in making too much of hCG numbers. A normal pregnancy may have low hCG levels and deliver a perfectly healthy baby. The results on an ultrasound after 5 - 6 weeks gestation are much more accurate than using hCG numbers.
A single hCG reading is not enough information for most diagnoses. When there is a question regarding the health of the pregnancy, multiple testings of hCG done a couple of days apart give a more accurate look at assessing the situation.
hCG levels should not be used to date a pregnancy since these numbers can vary so widely.
The first detection of hCG in the blood depends on when implantation happens. Extremely sensitive tests which are not available in a regular laboratory can detect the hCG even before implantation. But with regular laboratory hCG tests, hCG is usually found in sufficient levels as early as 2-3 days after implantation.
Implantation happens as early as 6 days after ovulation/fertilization (usually about 9 days after ovulation), so blood hCG can be found as early as 8-9 days after ovulation/fertilization.
Pregnant women usually attain blood serum concentrations of at least 10-50 mIU/cc in the 7-8 days following implantation.
At hCG levels above 1,000-1,500 mIU/ml, vaginal sonography usually identifies the presence of an intrauterine pregnancy
Within the first 2-4 weeks after fertilization, hCG usually doubles every 48-72 hours
An increase of 60% in 48 hours is still considered normal
Below 1,200 mIU/ml, hCG usually doubles every 48-72 hours
Between 1,200 and 6,000 mIU/ml serum, the hCG usually takes 72-96 hours to double
Above 6,000 mIU/ml, the hCG often takes over four days to double
More than two in three normal pregnancies have a doubling of the hCG every 72 hours
There is a wide variation of normal hCG levels. An hCG that does not double every two to three days does not necessarily indicate a problem
Normal hCG values vary up to 20 times between different pregnancies
A single hCG value doesn't give enough information about the viability of the pregnancy
Pregnancies that will miscarry and ectopic (tubal) pregnancies are likely to show lower levels and slower rises, but often have normal levels initially
Some normal pregnancies will have quite low levels of hCG -- and deliver perfect babies
Normal levels of hCG can vary tremendously. After 5-6 weeks of pregnancy, sonogram findings are much more predictive of pregnancy outcome than are HCG levels. Once the fetal heart rate is seen, most doctors will monitor the fetal heart rate rather than drawing hCG

PS about the age thing... I've just had my 40th birthday and my brother (who is always good for a quick pep talk when I'm feeling down) reminded me that it's the Dirty 30s and the Naughty 40s. Not that I'm feeling too naughty at the moment! But here's to the Dirty 30s and the Naughty 40s!!

[Jodsan]

Just popping in to say a quick hi!

Natty - I agree with kbowman, hcg levels probably aren't that much of a indicator so dont worry too much. Just try to relax and enjoy it! You're pregnant, it's beautiful! I have heard that air kills candida, so the no underwear thing sounds great, if only it wasn't so cold in Melbourne at the moment! I might try it tonight anyway, surely it'll help a bit.

Magda and Trac - things are sounding really good, thinking of you both.

Tempus - Sorry about your BFN I'm sure you'll get a BFP really soon and it will be a really sticky one!

Mollycat - Got my fingers crossed the tamoxifen will be the extra nudge you need. Good luck!

Mel A - I hope you enjoyed your well earned pampering! I loved the insight about the spiders. Next time I have one of my bizarre dreams (and I mean REALLY bizarre) I'll know who to PM.

Canary - Thanks for the advice re: the pessary. I was trying to avoid it because I was worried about altering my PH too much and killing the swimmers, but thankfully my 3 diflucans seem to have worked (although it has probably altered my PH anyway LOL!).

Big hello to everyone else!

I saw my absolutely fabulous doctor yesterday (who takes a month or two to get into). She said she is not concerned at all about my fertility and said that I have developed strong PMS over the past couple of months because I haven't been exercising as much as usual. Apparently there is some hormone you release after aerobic exercise which negates the PMS hormones. I have been really hot and cold with my exercise routine since the MC because I did a big session at the gym the day b4 my MC and kinda wondered whether I went too hard and it caused the MC. So I backed off in way thinking it might boost my chances of conceiving. She assured me that nothing I did caused the MC and emphasised that exercise is so important for keeping our hormones balanced and in order. So lets get moving girls, I haven't been to the gym for about 4 weeks but are definately going back on Monday. Hopefully there will be no PMS symptoms for me this month (for one reason or another ).

Sending everyone some

[jen805]

Hello ladies. It's been a few days since I've posted, but I've been keeping up with everything! It's been a tough week for me. Went back to work on Wed. I work at my son's school as a noon duty aide--and, until Wed., I've been able to avoid most questions from the kids (most of whom knew that I was pg). One little girl in particular would ask me what I was having every time she saw me. I figured she knew by now about the m/c--it's been a month today. But she asked me on Wed., and completely threw me off guard. I told her I would talk to her about it later, b'cuz I was incapable of saying anything else. Then a little girl in my son's class (1st grade) walked up to me out of the blue and told me that her mom's baby died, too. This made me feel really bad, because I had previously complained about a couple other moms at the school that were pg., saying how hard it was for me to see these pg. women that were due around the same time as me. This woman in particular hadn't even seen her dr. or had her first appt. yet (at almost 3 mo's!) and I was feeling annoyed because of this (b'cuz I had just m/c and thought that I had been doing everything right, and here she was pg. and not even bothering to go to the dr!). Then her daughter tells me that her mom's baby died, too-and it felt like all the air had been sucked out of my body! Obviously, I had nothing to do with her m/c, and I never would've wished it to happen to her, but b'cuz I was annoyed with her for being pg, it's hard for me to not feel any guilt! Then yesterday I had to have one of the other noon aides tell the girl (the one that would always ask me what I was having) about the m/c so that she wouldn't ask me that dreaded question again! Of course, it was the first time I had even brought it up to any of the noon aides, so it was pretty hard. They've all been trying to be very respectful by not bringing it up to me at all, pretending like it never even happened, but that doesn't make it much better. The hard ones are the ones that didn't know about the m/c and ask me when I'm due!
So now I'm on CD 6. Went to Fertility Friend to figure out how to chart my cycle. It's weird b'cuz according to my chart my fertile days begin on Mon., and it says I should be O'ing by Wed.! Could that be right? Could I really O so soon after AF? Thought AF was done yesterday, but she tricked me and came back later in the afternoon, although much lighter than the previous 3 days! My first couple days were really heavy--though I figure that's probably common for the first period after m/c. So maybe we'll begin ttc tonight (which would make DF very happy as he's been "missing me"), since they say that if you bd 3 days prior to O there's a better chance for a girl! I'm not going to be picky, though, I'll take what I can get--as long as it's healthy! I just really want to "feel" pg. again! The things that annoyed me just a few mo's ago--peeing 3 times a night, insomnia, feeling starving all the time, waking up every morning at 6:00 and eating oatmeal (I usually skipped breakfast until I was pg!) b'cuz I was so hungry, big, perky boobs! I miss feeling all those things! I still sleep with my hands on my tummy--wishing my baby was still in there! Sorry guys--just needed to get that out. Just bringing it up to DF is hard on both of us. It's easier for men to ignore it in order to maintain the "norm". While for me, I try to act like I'm not thinking about it, but it's ALWAYS there, like a slideshow constantly running in the back of my mind. I find myself half listening to people when they're talking to me, because the slideshow is running in the other half of my mind at the same time. I find myself wondering if they know that I'm not really listening to them, because my mind is consumed by my baby--isn't that terrible? Again, I'm sorry for feeling so sorry for myself-it's helpful knowing that there are others out there that know exactly what I'm talking about! At least here I don't feel so abnormal! Thanks everyone, for listening and caring!
My prayers are with all of you!

[plc1805]

Oh Jen, what you have described in ur post is all too familiar to me and I'm sure there would be others here that relate too. Having ur hands on ur tummy in bed and wishing that ur baby was still there is particularly memorable. Even in the months after while TTC I would put my hands on my tummy whilst in bed and focus so that my will was strong enough to put a baby in there. When I had my first m/c which was picked up at u/s i had to wait a day before i could have the D&C. That evening I just didn't want anyone taking my babies (twins) out of there cos I simply wanted to protect them in my own body even tho I knew they were dead. The cruelest thing too was that I was still getting m/s that evening - the sign that I usually attribute to a healthy pg. I can relate to ur sideshow (that is an excellent way to describe it!) and half listening to people. I feel for you for the range of emotions that come out while at ur DS's school - I don't have any helpful tips there nor with the FF fertility days. All I can suggest to you is to try to be strong and have faith that u will be pg again. I always think of my mum's favourite saying at times likes these and it does help me - "the personal success is how we deal with grace and dignity the atrocities of life" - hope it helps you in some way. Hugs hun.

Canary - hun we do need a BFP in here!! I had no pg symptoms whatsoever when I found out I was pg with DS - so for you it aint over til it's over!! If AF does come (I so pray it doesn't) then u will be only a couple of days behind me - we'll have some cyber wine together and drink to the BFPs we'll get next cycle - deal?

Natty - you are being so positive right now - that's so fantastic - good for you!!! The power of talking to your bub would be helping ur little one so much - keep it up!!

Hello and good morning to everyone else -

[Jodsan]

Wow, its all happening in here!

Congratulations Trac, that's unreal news!!

Nickster - Wow, two bundles of joy would be amazing.

Well done Bettyboop, I knew you'd get through the Op fine. Just focus on taking care of yourself and healing and I'm sure AF will come back really soon and you can start the TTC journey.

Natty - It's still really early, I'm sure everything is ok and that in a week or two when the MS kicks in you'll be cursing yourself for wishing you had more symptoms. Sending you loads of

Angel - Firstly, you must really miss your angelbabies. I really hope there's a sitcky bean coming your way very soon. Secondly, remember, Age is just a number. Did you see that show they had on TV about two years ago where the doctor did a fitness test and measurements and calculated their body age. Then they all went on a diet and did exercise and managed to reduce their body age to less than their calendar age. I found that program really inspiring, we can definately do something to keep ourselves young in mind and in body, regardless of the number. Keep breathing and take very good care of yourself, you still have time, I'm sure a BFP is just around the corner. Sending you some

Tempus - good luck with the test!

Me - Im CD9 and desperately trying to get rid of an awful dose of thrush so that we can BD by O time. I just took two diflucans but if anyone has any other good remedies, please let me know.

Big hi to everyone else!

[plc1805]

Hey Jodsan - depends on if you like it or not, but I found Yakult helps me - I was getting a lot of thrush in the months after DS was born and had to take canisten and the oral medication. Since then I have just been having Yakult and it hasn't come back - whether it wouldn't have come back anyway, who knows?

Nickster - forgot to say big "WOW" at the possibility of twins. Best of luck with everything hun!

[tina_k]

nickster: twins hmmmm..thats terriffic so happy for you

trac: thats wonderful news congratualtions

katie: hi! glad to hear your doing well...could all you BFP's please send some baby dust my way!!!!????PLEASE??????


hi toeverone else......

afm, im at my new job (thanks to those of you who wished me well, all is ok so far!!! unfortunately its going to be a very difficult/emotional job - im working with survivors of torture and trauma - well it may help me to be thankful for what i have...

anyway....gotta go, just popped in for a quick check to see how you all are, will write again soon.....

[Canary]

Hi Girls

I was just going to lurk, but had to post when I read about Natty's HCG worries-
Natty, HCG levels vary HUGELY in early preg- so your one result is good news in a way- it just confirms you are pregnant! (OK, we knew that) I know it is hard, Hon, but do take a deep breath and try and relax. There are so many women in this thread sending sticky vibes and baby dust, that this little one just HAS to be a sticky one. In fact, I'm sending more sticky vibes and baby dust, (you'll have to imagine them 'cos the pop up blocker stops them appearing)

While I'm here... Jodsan, I've only had thrush once (yes, lucky me!), but a pessary worked really well and you only need one dose.

Tina, well done on getting the job!!

plc1805- I'm in stitches here- I can imagine you and DH getting tangled up in that heart monitor- and just think - the person analysing the results will know axactly what you've been upto!! Tee hee! AF is due next Weds for me

Mollycat- Hey! Next time there is some cyber wine around, I want some!!

[mollycat]

Hi Canary - not being nasty or anything, but i hope you don't get to share in the cyber wine for at least twelve months - hoping for a BFP for you next week. AF was due on Sat for me but decided to turn up on Thurs. go figure. Anyway starting on new medication tomorrow, so hopefully that will work and next month will be IT.

DH was watching TV last night on a program about accupuncture and fertility. It was very interesting hearing him tell me about it, as he is so anti- medical help (believes doctor's are just out to get our money