TTC after Miscarriage or Loss ~ January 08

[Katiegirl]

Hi Everyone. I am going to attempt some personals, so bear with me.

Treelo - I am so sorry that you are having a tough time. It doesn't seem fair sometimes, that after all the grief you experience, that you can't 'cut a break'. I think having a MC also brings with it the hard lesson of learning patience. Patience is so hard as all we want is to have a baby, and yet we are forced to wait. I hope the next few weeks bring you some better luck, or at the least some more information from your doctor. Hang in there, I am sure good things are coming your way.

Smilanatu - glad to hear I am not the only person with the hot flushes! Last night as I was cleaning the house, I got ridiculously hot. Maybe you will get some good news.... My temp was back to 36.3 this morning (after 36.5 yesterday morning) which is pretty much my standard temp. Not sure what that means....once again patience has to be used, shame I don't have any.

Angelbabies - I hope you get some good news this month. I also don't want to officially join the TWW as that feels too official for me.

Starrysky - can't wait for you to test - it would be so lovely to get a BFP this month. It would really give me a boost to see another one of us move forward. I will keep my fingers crossed for you.

AJC - thanks for your advice regarding temps etc. I have finally entered all my data into FF. The problem is that I am guessing that I had a period - I did have heavy bleed but the doctor has pretty much said that we can't know for sure. But I am going with that it was AF anyway. If that is correct, than I timed O well. And am now 6 DPO.

I am feeling a bit disappointed this morning. I was hoping my temp would be as high as yesterday. Even though I am trying not to get my hopes up, it really is impossible. We all want BFPs so much, that the wait is agonising. I feel like the year ahead is a really long path to walk. I keep thinking of where I should be and how instead of having a baby, I have to keep on with my life as is, working etc. I am not down as such, just melancholy.

Also it is DH's 30th party this weekend. I have hardly had any alcohol since the MC (most was 2 champers NYE). My best friend will be in Melb this weekend for the party, so I had planned to relax a bit and have a few drinks. Now that I am wondering if I may be pregnant (who knows???), I am thinking that I should not have anything. The party is going to be hard, as there will be a lot of people I am seeing for the first time. I just want to enjoy it, and would have loved to be able to indulge in some champers, but now not sure. Aagggh

And Angelbabies I know what you mean about people saying you are strong. I get that from all sorts of people, who say I am coping so well etc. Really, I find each day a struggle and I am just doing what I can to keep moving forward. I guess I may seem strong, but inside I am still grieving and the pain is still has sharp. I think we are all doing the best jobs we can with what we have been given.

Have a great day ladies. I really wish I did not have to do any work today.

[tempus moriendi]

Katiegirl: my feeling is that it is too early to have symptoms, but then other women might have had other experiences. Keeping my fingers crossed anyway!

Angel Babies: thanks!

treelo: don't know what to say to make it any better, but sending cyberhug

[missbelinda77]

Just wanted to drop in and say hi to treelo - us "oldies" are still around, but it's kinda nice to see that most of the girls from a year ago have moved on - but I know how you feel. I hope you get a BFP soon *hugs*

Hi to everyone else - hope you all have a lovely long weekend

[Baby Angels]

Ok... well I ve been waiting on posts today for news...... hasnt happened

treelo...... Its a fast swinging door the one in and out of this thread. None of us knew we would be here and none of us know how long we are here for. We all hope that each other get s out ASAP but in the meantime we ve got some great cyber chocolate mud cake cooks in here, and a lot of just lovely lovely ladies. Some are a bit cheeky...... watch out for them, but they are wonderful. Jnr footbal club.... thats got to keep you busy. I remember (goodness dont I feel old saying it this way) I remember when i was pregnant with my son, who by the way is now 18, I also had a 4 year old step son. I decided (at the age of 19 cause of course you can do everything at 19) that I would take on managing the under 5 little athletics team. I walked around the oval on a friday night with all these 4 year olds teaching them how to throw a shot put, how to run 400 m instead of sprinting.... yeah now i know they dont listen but then I was convinced they would.... I was determined they would become the best under 5 team.......LOL. Then for years I was the one filling in for the coach when he was busy for my sons Rugby Leauge team...... Ohhh i could tell you some embarrasing tales there..... needless to say there are plenty of times i know my sons wished the ground would open up underneath them.

Now as for the "failure" part...... put out that hand cause here comes a big smack. There is not one person in here that is a failure. there is not one person in here that is doing any less than the best they can to firstly deal with their loss and secondly get on with their lives and then to add to that try and conceive again. The way I look at it, if you or anyone else in here gets to the BFP before me........ save me a seat, I dont know how long it will take but I ll get there and If i never see a BFP again then I ll pop by and visit anyway. We have very little control.... obviously we have the whole charting and IVF ect..... thats not what I mean by little control, I mean when we have done everything we possibly can we then have little control as to whether we end up with our bundles of joy. Please Please Please....... never feel like a failure, failing is only when you dont try.

Every single one of us is here for you....... throw a tanti..... get the chit s.... do whatever you feel you need to do, and then try some of that cyber cake.... its an aquired taste but the the calorie count is wonderful.

[STARRYSKY]

well, its not my month...again.....but im okay, af showed up this afternoon at work, early again, i thought that my cycle was sort of *normal* (yeah...define normal!!) again, but obviously not.

trrelo hun, im sorry I havent been around much, I have been reading your journal but havent posted, I wish now I did, big hugs love, im still here to hold your hand!
well girls, I have a headache, i am in pain, so im not gonna whinge anymore, bring on next month!!
good luck chickies!!!
xxx

[Baby Angels]

Starrysky........ :hugs:

[smilanatu]

Good morning ladies...I just wanted to say...IT'S FRIDAY!!! Relax enjoy your weekend and happy trying.

Katiegirl...I have no patience either...never have and probably never will I am ashamed to say...I want what I want when I want it! LOL

[treelo]

Happy Australia Day everyone !!!

angel babies thank you for your post and consider my hand slapped. It such a long and winding road and sometimes i just want to turn off but hearing from all of you, and I mean every single one of you Cherie, KatieGirl, Tempus, Smilandu and of course my dear BB friends Starrysky and Miss Belinda, it sure brightened my spirits and gave me a boost of confidence that there are people standing by my side holding my hand, whether it is my month or not.
Starrysky, im sorry hun that AF came, im giving your hand an extra squeeze.

I have started taking my temp every morning (not my idea, but my dr) yesterday was 35.8 which i thought was very low....but today it was 39.8 and i nearly fell out of bed....DH asked what was wrong, and i told him and he "well you look like crap, so it wouldnt surprise me" . So with my excruciatingly sore throat and blocked sinuses and cracking headache, i can assume i have a fever. No point taking my temp now i guess. I do believe that i O'd today and we BD this morning with what little energy i had....DH laughed and said "geez you are determined, but breath that way please" lol.

Well im going to have a shower and try to make a move on the housework.....thank you again everyone, your all so wonderful and i look forward to some chocolate cyber cake.!!

hugs
treelo

[nicksterUK]

Starrsky- I know exactly how you feel, your body is getting, slowly but surely, back to normal. I was so disappointed though. At least af is showing herself, some ladies wait months and months. Big hug for you too Treelo. Really hope something lovely and positive happens soon. x

Hi Angel Babies, Hi all- hope you're having a great weekend (it's still Friday evening here!) Work was MAD MAD MAD this week (thank goodness ) I went to my Body Jam class (exercise) for the first time in months tonight. I'm fitter than I thought I'd be, which was such a relief. It was weird going though- yet another reminder of what I've lost. I suppose I can be as energetic as I like really, somehow it just seems unfair.

Talking of being energetic- DH had run my a lovely bubble bath with a chilled glass of bubbly on the side so I could have a soak when I got back from Body Jam. He cooked a great dinner for me too...anyone else think he wants to get jiggy? ah bless him for being so sweet...maybe I'll reward him xx

Good Luck all , sending you oodles of and hoping for stacks of BFPs xx

[tempus moriendi]

I'm on the Eastern seaboard of the US, so our friday night's just starting!

Starrysky: I'm sorry. Sending cyberhug

nicksterUK: awww, you're such an appreciative wife...

[cheekyfrog]

Yes, Happy Australia Day everyone. Just thought I'd drop in to wish my old friends and all the newbies good luck and spread some Early days yet, but I've managed to get that elusive BFP and it looks like it's sticking so far. So don't be giving up hope yet, Treelo and Bettyboop. My d&c was at the start of last May and TTC started the first cycle after waiting eight weeks for AF.
Hoping this bubba's super sticky, I've "seen" the heartbeat in a scan this week but as the f/s said: we're not out of the woods yet. He even crossed his fingers in front of me and suggested I keep everything crossed too.
So lots of baby dust for everyone and hope to see all of you in the PAML thread soon.

xox Kerry
Always in my heart: angelbabies 15-10-06 6w4d and 30-04-07 11w3d

[bettyboop]

i saw doc at hospital, did BT and ordered a scan and then said he would see me in 6 weeks, i am not happy.
hope you are doing ok, and enjoying the weekend.

[Baby Angels]

I m lost as to why you are being fobbed off. If you lived in Auckland I would have the best Dr to recommend to you, he s on the north side of Auckland, practices as a GP but delivered my son........ that was just the odd year or two or 16 ago. I really just do not understand..... however I do understand you being peeved. I would be ripping heads by now!

[Baby Angels]

BODY JAM...... my last IVF cycle could be classed as a body JAB..... ohhh sorry... sick humour tonight.

Dont know how you do it. I struggle on the treadmill.... I m talking straight walk no incline. I had to open my suitcase of "normal" clothes last night. I m stuck..... bubby tummy has gone so my maternity clothes look shoddy. I opened the case went to try on one of my skirts...ohhhhh would you look at that..... doesnt fit

So now i have a wardrobe full of maternity clothes that dont fit AND a wardrobe full of normal clothes that dont fit. I know this next comment will probably sound really bad.... I didnt get to keep my babies but I was allowed to keep the fat..... Ok sorry.... just a minny tanty from me over here in the corner..... OK breathing in..... Breathing out..... Tanty over.

[Canary]

Hi Guys!
I have just spent Ages reading all of your messages and hearing from you all was really good therapy!
Nickster, I too have had the most crazy week at work (what is it with January?) Sorry that I have not been able to pop in and say Hi until now.

I had a massive presentation to prepare for and also agreed to help out with a course on Thursday evening, so have not had a minute to myself all week. I just hope that next week will be less stressful. Oh, and the icing on the cake was that my bike was pinched from outside work on Friday by some inconsiderate little tw*t. Grrr.

Nickster, good on you going to body jam (I havent had the time for the gym this week- that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it! LOL), I am very jelous that your fitness hasn't suffered though!

Hello Smilinatu, nice to meet you. I hope your stay here is a short one.

Trac, Glad you are feeling better now. Down days are tough, but we are all here for you.

Angelbabies, you made me laugh! Good idea with the dice, girls, I might give that one a go...! Your charting program sounds good. I have not gone that advanced, but went to Boots today to buy a thermometer, so will be joining you all on FF when AF comes.

Hi BettyB, nice to hear from you again. Belated happy birthday for the 22nd. I'm really sorry that you have to wait for 6 weeks. I dont think that the doc's realise how hard the waiting is sometimes. Good luck from the scan.

Katiegirl, I hope you have a good time at DH's 30th and that it's not too hard facing everyone. Hopefully they will all be lovely and let you do things in your own way.

Laura, get some rest, hon. If your MIL is anything like mine, then rest will be impossible for all the talking! Ha! I hope that you get to see your doc and start treatment for your thyroid soon. I had not heard that low cholesterol is bad for you. That's weird!

SamiH, I found it really hard to see pregnant women, but I think that if I saw them smoking, then there would be fireworks! Good luck with the 2ww

Treelo, :hugs: Sorry you are feeling down. It is nice to meet you, I'll keep my fingers crossed for a BFP for you.


Sorry everyone I missed
In the news this week was a report that any coffee in pregnancy increases your risk of m/c. This made me think, because during my 2ww, I know I drank more than I should (was so convinced I was not pregnant!). Could that have contributed to the m/c? Now I am trying to give up for TTC and so far this week I have just had one cup of tea or coffee per day. Anyone got any thoughts?
Now look, I have waffled on forever. Best shut up and let you read on!
Bye for now,
C

[SamiH]

Hi Canary

Yeah, I enjoy a cup of coffee - I have reduced to one cup per day and wondered my 2 -3 cup day habit last time contributed - however when i had m/s I couldn't drink it so who knows. I saw the report and thought - make alot of women feel unecessarily guilty, especially if just getting through a tough time. Hard enough not to blame your self at times.

I had super bad food poisoning at 9 weeks with m/c number 2 and at time doc said don't worry, but afterwards she said, yeah could have contributed. I was so careful with my food - I ate a salad wrap at a friends house that I prepared myself and felt ill within 2 hours - so of course she felt bad too.. like her stuff wasn't clean cos all the salad was fresh.

Now CD27 and 13DPO - temp remained highish for me this morning, gotta be patient and wait until full cycle - 2 more days

Good luck everyone!!

[tempus moriendi]

kbowman: congratulations! I'll cross my fingers and pray for you, too

bettyboop: for crying out loud! what tests did they run and when do you get the results back?

Angel Babies: tanty away, girl! That's why I like elastic waist sweatpants and stuff, but it's probably too hot where you live for sweatpants

Canary: just one thing after another, isn't it? I hope next week is better for you. As for coffee, yeah, we heard that report here in the States recently. But you can't "cause" a miscarriage by eating or drinking the wrong thing (assuming it isn't tainted, you know, all factors being equal). I drank coffee (no more than one a day) during my sucessful pregnancies.

[Baby Angels]

Just happens that Coffee has been a topic of conversation here with DH and I for a while. To add to that this herbal place sent through information regarding coffee.

I m going to copy it in here. FIRST though..... It all has a lot to do with Quality of egg and sperm in the first place so I m not saying I agree or dont agree with it, but thought it would be informative to send paste in here.



"Caffeine consumption is a topic that is often discussed between my patients and I. And a recent study shows why its important to address the caffeine in your diets when trying to become pregnant and while pregnant.

A study published in the American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology said that have two cups of coffee per day can increase the chance for miscarriage. Our recommendation has always been to reduce coffee to one cup per day and then reduce this further to no more than a coffee few days per week. This study supports this recommendation.

"In the study, published in Monday?s issue of the American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology, Li's team interviewed 1,063 women in the San Francisco area who became pregnant between 1996 and 1998 about their caffeine intake. While 164 of the women drank 200 mg of caffeine or more daily, 635 consumed some caffeine but less than 200 mg. The remaining 264 women said they didn?t consume any caffeine.

Overall, 172 of the women suffered a miscarriage. The risk of a miscarriage was more than double in women who consumed 200 mg or more of caffeine, with 25 percent suffering a miscarriage compared to just 12 percent of women who didn't consume caffeine. The low-caffeine drinkers also appeared to have an elevated risk of miscarriage, but this trend wasn't statistically significant, meaning the researchers could not rule out that it was merely due to chance."

Giving up coffee or other beverages with caffeine should be done while preparing for the pregnancy. I rarely tell people to give it up all together but rather to understand that when the body relies on caffeine each day for increased energy this is putting stress on the system. Your body should be able to maintain an average to high energy level throughout the day without the need for caffeine. When you rely on caffeine or HAVE to have your coffee this tells me that your body is out of balance.

Teas like Green tea would have 1/3 the caffeine as most coffee and therefore two cups per day would be fine. Black tea should be eliminated or cut down as per the previous recommendation because its caffeine levels are similar to coffee. Herbal teas that do not contain caffeine are great sources of nutrients including antioxidants to assist your body in creating healthy cells. And remember the eggs, ovaries, follicles, endometrial lining and the semen and sp**erm are all made up of cells.

Because they do not know what the mechanism is that connects coffee or caffeine to miscarriage its best for men to avoid more than a cup a day or a few cups throughout the week as well. It could be that the caffeine and chlorogenic acid that is found in caffeinated drinks could be effecting the health of the cells, and therefore the sp**erm or the egg for example could be effected. So its best for both men and women to keep a check on their coffee consumption.

Also we suggest to keep the sugar out of the coffee as well to avoid significant spiking of blood glucose levels during the day.

Decaffeinated coffees really aren't any better due to the fact that most are decaffinated by putting chemicals in to get the caffeine out. There are some coffee substitutes you can find at most health food shops.

Some people tell me that coffee is their only vice, but if it may be effecting your fertility then its time to realise that is not necessary to have your vice daily and like alcohol, either eliminate it or cut it down so that it is spread through out the week and not a daily habit.
This can help you continue to focus on your overall health and optimising your fertility. Remember the development of sp**erm occurs over time and so does the follicle in women. So it may take 6-12 months for changes like these to have the most optimum effect.

Also remember to cut down gradually to avoid the withdrawl symptoms like severe headaches that can come with giving up caffeine cold turkey.
We suggest halving what you normally have for two weeks then doing that again over another two weeks until you get down to only a few a week or none at all. "

Now remember that quote is from a place that specializes in fertility through herbs and inner health. SO take it for what its worth.

As for me..... I ve given up smoking, I ve cut down my coffee from 20...... yes thats not a misprint.....20 coffee s a day to 1 to 2 "nescafe blend 4 instant" a day and 2 "nescafe blend 43 decafe" so basically i m having just over the 200 Odd that they are talking about. Mind you they dont like decafe because of the chemicals....... dont you think sometimes you just cant win.