Trying to Conceive after Late Loss, Still Birth or Recurrent Miscarriage Feb/March 08

[Katiegirl]

Thanks everyone. I felt a lot better for typing out my frustration. I agree that it is hard to know how to phrase the line - sometimes I say 'lost' other I say 'late miscarriage' etc. I just wish I knew what was going on in his head - and to keep saying it without maybe realising what he said. Aagghhh. He has always been tactless when joking around, and it has often got people annoyed with him. The thing is he is not good at laughing at himself!

Thankfully his comments did not upset me. If anything it shows his own lack of understanding for others (especially given the death of his wife and all the support my family gave to him and his children). Some people no matter what we say or how much we try to explain will ever understand, that we are grieving the death of our children.

Simba - thanks for the message. So nice to know you all understand.

Jo - my AF is due today and still no sign. My temp took another drop this morning - just one point, so I know AF is on the way. I just wish it would hurry up as for each day it is late just means we get our hopes up. I know there is little if any chance I am preg so I just want AF to come and get the waiting over with. Please do let us know when you test again. I am not even tempted to test, and don't have any here anyway. I guess if AF was not here by Tues I would go out and buy one. I will keep my fingers crossed for you. Would be lovely to get a BFP in this group.

Hi to Barbara and TM - hope you are both well.

[Simba]

am a bit lonely tonight DH is away for the weekend. i used to love time to myself - DH is always so full of energy, only stops talking when he is asleep!! the teacher in me often diagnoses him with ADHD!! but now i really struggle to be on my own - too much time to think i guess.

jo - have my for you hopefully at least one of us can have a BFP soon. i have a feeling i am going to want to do another test tomorrow (another one that i'll just have to keep secret from DH!!) dont know what i'd do if one of them came back positive cos i promised him that i wouldnt do any without him knowing!!

[Anthonysmom]

Hi laides - I haven't been around much so I am going to try to catch up now.

Katie - First of all. I don't even know what to say about your brother. His comments make no sense to me. How can anyone (especially a loved one) say such things, even if they are supposed to be a joke. Around Christmas my mother told me that she has been effected too by Anthony's loss. She had to rewrite over half of her Christmas cards. I was stunned, but I am used to me mom saying insensitive things. I hope your brother can understand that he is way out of line. And good luck with your test results. I am glad you love your new OB. I have so happy when mine took tons of tests. IF she didn't I would have never known about my MTHFR gene.

Jo - Has AF shown? I hope not, we need a BFP. ANd yes I have been crazy busy.

Simba - Your story is heartbreaking. I am glad you were able to have 12 lovely days with your precious daughter. I am a teacher also. It was very hard to go back to work. I had just told people at work on Friday that I was pregnant. They were all waiting for my results (we were finding out the sex) We had Monday off and I found out that Anthony had passed on Tuesday. I have found that normalcy comes and goes. As someone once told me there is now a new normal for all of us. It is helpful to see people with similar stories to go on and have healthy babies. You should drop into the pregnancy thread. I love "seeing" the ladies in there. it brings me hope.

TM - I am so sorry about your grandfather. Has AF shown her ugly head? I know good things are around the corner for you.

As for me, busy does not begin to explain it. My life is in total flux. The renovations are going very slow. My contractor is a total jerk and my husband insists we continue to be nice to him. I understnad my DH's point but my apartment is a disaster area and I am ready for the work to be finished. The earliest will now be Tuesday. DH and I had a big blow up about it this morning. As I get closer to my should have been due date I am having less and less good days. Every time I have a cup of coffee or help with bathroom renovations I think that I shouldn't be able to that. I do not know how I will feel in APril. I am worried that all this stress is not good for TTC. I have about a week until I ovulate. sorry about the rant. I am trying to stay positive, but I am just very deflated.

Barbara

[Anthonysmom]

okay i feel the need to put something in here funny since my post was such a downer. I take my temp at 6am every morning. So even though it is Saturday my alarm went off at 6am. DH woke up. HE asked if it was time to get up. He thought we had to go to work. He was so sad. I told him it was saturday and he just fell back on his pillow and started snoring.

Barbara

[Simba]

okay so i resisted and havent done a test this morning maybe i'll try and wait till wednesday if AF hasnt arrived before then. i'm so stuck between wanting to be positive and then not getting my hopes up so i dont get so sad when AF arrives. i think i would really like to ge pg this month as this is when i got pg with Lani last year. it would then mean that the baby would be born before her b'day (I will be having a C/S so i can plan that) to have a healthy baby in my arms on her b'day and then 2 1/2 weeks later on the anniversary of her death wouldnt make it all better i know but i think it would be at least bring a happy element to that time.

Barbara - the story about the alarm made me laugh, thanks!

love to you all

sim
x

[Katiegirl]

Hi Barbara - 3 times now I have woken up during the night and taken my temp only to realise it is only 1am etc. I once also had a dream that I had already taken my temp and then had to remember when to actually do it! I think it ends up taking over our minds sometimes! Good luck with O and TTCing. My EDD is April as well, but so far I am doing ok.

I am still waiting for AF - today is CD30 - I expected AF yesterday. If I make it through today and tomorrow with no AF I will possibly test on Tuesday. I have been getting pains for the last couple of days which makes me think AF is on the way but not sure why it is delayed - just cruel!!!

Simba - good luck with your test. It would be so lovely to get some good news in here!

[tempus moriendi]

Between work and a girls' nite out I haven't posted in a couple days. Will POAS on tuesday, but i don't have any breast tenderness, so I'd be real surprised if it were a bfp.

Katiegirl: that was a horrible story. Is your brother usually tactless? some people suffer from chronic foot-in-mouth disease. Or maybe it sounded funnier in his head. You just never know. But in either case there's nothing funny about obstetric loss.
My parents lost a baby and they both suffered terribly over it. then one time about ten years later, my dad made some flippant comment and my mom just burst into tears and it turned into a terrible fight. Sometimes people just say the dumbest things...

Simba: sending encouragement vibes

jo76: keeping fingers crossed

Anthonysmom: Please rant away. That's the whole point, isn't it? So we can support each other with all the stresses of TTC and the "civilian" stresses, too.
My grandfather's condition is status quo.