Hi, gals. I'm feeling pretty good today -- that is, I'm feeling a little bit sick to my stomach, which makes me feel good.

Paula -- I'm so sorry. All I can say is that this forum has been really important in me feeling gradually better.

Doctors always say such different things about when THEY think you should try again -- wait until after your first normal period, wait 3 months, wait 6 months, etc... but I read a thousand times on the net and heard from my own doctor that there are little to no medical reasons for them saying that, but rather that they're trying to trick you into taking the time to heal emotionally. We were told there was no medical reason not to start again once I'd stopped bleeding and the infection risk was over.

And that's what we did, because any reason a doctor or counselor can give as to why I should wait 3 months or 6 months just doesn't fit my situation (and I don't see how it can fit anyone's situation). Now is my TMI: The "trying" before my first period came wasn't much to speak of -- we simply didn't use protection whenever we had sex, and of course we had little or no way of knowing when I might ovulate or how things were going there before the first period. We were intimate more often than usual, as we're typically not frequent hay-rollers, but emotionally I needed the affection. I cried the first few times when it was over, but I still felt it was helpful for me to be close with my husband. After I did get my first AF we tried really actively and intensely and now I'm pregnant after only 2 cycles.

Yes, I'm going to worry, LOADS, that this baby will pass as well. I've already noticed that I'm much more muted and less excited about this pregnancy, and that is most likely a subconscious defense mechanism.

However, I wouldn't be less worried if I waited a year to try again. I wouldn't be more happy or optimistic or excited. And I certainly wouldn't feel any better right now if I weren't pregnant. All I would have done is prolong my worry and sadness and "What if?" thinking, and furthermore, feel more like a victim; feel even more robbed. My second chance is now, and I don't feel "perfect" but I believe I feel the best that I can and that I've made the right choice.

I will admit that it makes a difference that it went really quickly for me to get pregnant again, and since I know that every AF when TTC and feeling the way we do is a crisis, I understand why they say it might not be right for everyone to start trying again right away. I think some people do need to let some time pass so they can be strong enough to handle both the sadness of each AF that comes and the worry that kicks in as soon as the BFP comes. I just know that I was not that person; I'm a person who suffers panic-level impatience and knew that strength would not come to me until I had this new life inside me.

I'm feeling sad for Lan today, because I can see that you're dealing with a lot emotionally. I know it's hard that it's August now, just as I know it'll be hell in October when my EDD comes and exatly then I'll be 16 weeks pregnant, just about where I was when I lost my baby. I will probably be a wreck. I'm sad that you're scared of trying again, but if I may be boringly logical -- we're scared of being pregnant again because we're scared of losing another baby and another chance at having a lovely little child -- but we won't have that child if we never take that chance. It's seems grim, I know, but I know you'll get there.

I'm on edge for Sue, too. Hoping for the best.

Nice to see Rozzie's ticker, too! Shall we race each other to April?