Thanks everyone, it definitely feels like a lighter burden when you have others to share it with. Its very encouraging to hear about all you pregnant women who have built up the courage to go again. I wasn't sure I would be able to get through 9mnths of worry but seeing others doing it gives me confidence.

My OB says there is no reason why we can't have a completely normal and healthy pregnancy next time round. When I had my first miscarriage he was so reassuring about the next pregnancy saying there's no reason for it to happen again. Now after losing Charlie its hard to believe that everything will be ok, even though statistically everything should be fine. Statistics have let us all down before.

One thing I did gain from losing Charlie (aside from a beautiful angel baby) is the knowledge of how soon our little babies become real little people. Its hard to connect that picture on the US screen with an actual person growing inside you and all the info on the websites about babies development doesn't really register. Now that I have had a baby at 23wks and held her and seen how beautiful and perfect she was I know I will connect much earlier with my next baby.

That brings me to something else I've been thinking about... whether to find out the sex. When I had my son we found out he was a boy at the 19wk US and named him on the way home in the car. With Charlie, I had a strong feeling she was a girl (so did my 4yo) but at the 12wk scan they told us she was a boy. I still thought she was a girl but DH was convinced she was a boy. We decided we wouldn't find out at the 19wk scan as I wanted a surprise.

I know this might sound weird but when they told us she was a girl after she was born it was kind of a nice surprise much as it would have if she had gone full term. Anyway, part of me is thinking I would like that surprise next time, but part of me feel like I bonded better with my son during pregnancy because I knew he was a boy and what his name was. I just feel sad sometimes because we wasted so much of the precious time we had with Charlie wondering if she was a boy or girl. I feel like I didn't make the most of the time I had with her and that I dont' want to do that with the next baby.

I don't want to plan for the worst but its kind of like just in case I do lose the next baby I don't want to have wasted a single second of my time with them.

Anyway, I know I've been babbling on but was just wondering what everyone else is planning.

thanks again for all the support!