I have been away from the computer during the festive season and this is my first peek since the 23rd or something. What a ****ty time of year it is for all of us. So may tears over the last few days but thankfully I have DS who was so excited about xmas that it was a healthy distraction for all of us. I asked DH as we lay in bed on xmas night how he had felt during the day and he said at one point he was swimming in the pool and as he came up he hear a voice call out 'daddy'. Our son wasn't with him so it wasn't him. He said he just knew it was our little girl and he felt like his heart would explode. He made a lovely toast at lunchtime expressing gratitude for having our son with us and rememberance of the fact we don't have our daughter. It was very emotional but in a good way because everyone was sensitive enough to share in our mixed emotions. unlike a lot of you we are blessed with really supportive family who for the most part miss our little girl almost as much as we do.
On another note I have been wanting to share an experience I had just before xmas. I went to see a psychic. I have been thinking about it for awhile and finally did it. It was quite amazing. She was so spot on with what she said and picked up on some really specific stuff without any input from me at all. I wasn't a skeptic or anything but I am a pretty suspicious person by nature. I wont' bore you all with the details but she did ask me at one point how many children I had because up until this point she had only mentioned my son. I wasn't sure how to answer and just as I said 1 she said I can see a little girl who keeps popping up. I explained that my daughter had died earlier in the year and she was adamant that it wasn't Charlie but another girl. She said the baby was linked to September 2009 either a BFP or a birth. If it is a birth then I can be expecting a BFP sometime in the next month!! She was adamant that the pregnancy would go fine and I wouldn't have any trouble.
She also has the ability to channel spirits but she said the rules of her gift don't allow her to channel babies under 18mths - 2years. I was a bit disappointed but she said my Grandma had popped in to say that a baby was being sent to me with an enormous amount of love and that Charlie would be one of this babies guides and this baby was meant for great things.
I don't know how much of it to believe but I guess as I am feeling so nervous about being PG again it was nice to get some reassurance. Even if it is a bit trippy.
Has anyone else had any psychic experiences since losing their babies. I would be really interested to hear about them.
Anyway, sorry for no personals but hugs to you all for braving the storm that is xmas and what a year 2009 is going to be. Remember, we're not leaving anyone behind (me speaking as troop leader in the trenches... I think I even have an american accent and there is some dramatic music playing in the background!!!)
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