Hi Girls!

firstly, big congrats to Paula for her bub-in-turn!!! at this rate it will be one a month on this thread, how wonderful!!

I've been meaning to post for days but been very busy. Firstly, thanks to all the ladies for sharing their stories, I feel privileged to share your baby's stories. If you'd like to read, I posted mine: https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...4-04-08-a.html
I was lucky enough to not experience any insensitive medical personnel, and I thank my lucky stars for that.

Diana, I will echo what the other women said about not feeling guilty... but you know, I often think that 'mother guilt' is so ubiquitous anyway, when you add a lost child to the mix it's futile to think we can avoid feeling some guilt. I'm not saying we deserve to, rationally in our heads we know we have nothing to feel guilty about, but we still do... I can see you shouldn't feel guilty and you can see I shouldn't either but we still will... does that make sense?? Anyway, I'm saying try to give yourself a break because you did the best you could under unbearable circumstances. I was contemplating not seeing our son, but when I saw the doctor beforehand he said I should. He said the mind will always picture something worse than the reality (that was when we didn't know why he'd died and some sort of deformity was a possibility) and that I'd always regret it. If he hadn't told me that I might not have, and would have regretted it. Anyway, I'll stop rambling!

Megan, sorry to hear AF arrived it's probably not a MC though, it may just be your body still adjusting to normal cycles after having a baby. Hopefully next month will be when your baby feels right coming to visit

Lan, I'm so glad to hear from you... I can understand how you feel about TTC... we so want babies but TTC and pregnancy is such a scary process for us. I don't think there will ever be a perfect time for us ever again... but I do think that having lost Edward has made me appreciate and love this baby and never take him/her for granted and that has been a gift. I hope you find the courage to accept that gift again soon.

Beata, glad you're well and the surgery is over, soon your uterus will be perfect for baby-holding!

Jo, glad to hear from you! It sounds like you've been having some lovely time with your kiddies.

Hi to everyone else!!

We have had a very busy long weekend, cleaned out the spare rooms, getting the nursery ready, exciting yet scary at the same time... My sister wants to visit with her daughter who's roughly the same age Edward should be. She also said in the email 'you're going to love being parents' - this irritated me somewhat, like we haven't been trying for ages and have already had it robbed from us once before?!? People just can't seem to say the right thing to me, I'm awful!! I'm annoyed because my brother and sister are really excited to find out I'm pregnant- that should be a good thing but it annoys me because I feel like everyone else thinks a new baby erases the pain of a lost child. I am soooooo excited but I find it really uncomfortable to share that excitement with other people, not entirely sure why. I also realised that not one person aside from close family and friends (who already knew) ever asked me if we had a boy or a girl, and that upsets me. I'm easily upset it would seem!!! I know I'm being irrational, everyone means well. Maybe it's the hormones.

Anyway, time for bed I think!!!

Love Rozzie