Crumpet, Charli B - I think you girls can just wing it with the AF dance. Maybe you could create a different dance for O too? How about kind of like a Hokey Pokey? I could construct some words, but they are likely to be a bit risque! OR at least the first ones I thought of were. I have made a decision - more on that below. Oh Crumpet, thanks for your kind words. That is a really nice thing to say, and today, I needed to hear it.
Blessed - good to hear that things are on track enough not to be actively trying to prevent a BFP! Hey, do you want someone to review your essay? I am only too happy to have a squiz, give me something contstructive to do. If you wnat you could PM me and I will give you my email. No worries if not, I won't be offended. Hope AF and your luteal phase sort themselves out How can you sort your luteal phase out?
Gigi and Cmeglles - welcome to the new thread. I ended up being able to get a copy of that book by Darci Klient called To Full Term. Started reading it today. Makes me more satisfied with the care I have received. I ended up getting a copy on Amazon really cheap, new. I also managed to find on ebay of all places a copy of the other book that I have been hunting for that it out of print - When the Dream is Shattered; by Judith Murray. It is second hand. Will be interesting to see if it actually turns up. I have been searching for it for ages. Something came up, possibly on Amazon USA, where it could be imported from AUS ( go figure) for $170!!!! I have had it on order from a few stores that said they could access it, but then they replied saying it was out of stock. Anyway, I hope it comes through. My first ebay purchase! Thinking of you.
AFM - well, I have decided to have the cerclage and go in Thurs 25th March. It was a really tough decision to make, as you all know from my tortured posts, but I am really comfortable with the decision I have made. It doesn't mean I am not just a wee bit anxious about the risks involved, but if things don't go to plan, I am am reasonably confident that I won't tie myself up in knots with self recriminations and guilt. I might for a little while, but not long term. I just really feel it is the right decision for me. Filled out the hospital admissions forms and spoke to the ob today.
It's odd though, despite feeling really comfortable with the decision, today I am feeling really sad and lonely.... I suppose just feeling a wee bit sorry for myself. I am teary and flat and just want to shut myself away from the world. Probably precipitated by some different feelings in my lower abdoment this morning which turned out to be wind but had me on the verge of calling the doctor after only the first different feeling which was fleeting. The feelings were distinctly different from the feelings I have had associated with pre term labour, but still enough to put me on edge and burst that lttle bubble of invincibility I somehow manage to build. Oh well its to be expected, just have to get through it. Interesting though is I found myself not really wanted to come to BB today and not share my feelings and just turn in on myself. Not like me at all. At least the cats are keeping me company!
If I ever didn't know it before, I do today, I am an emotional eater. I just feel like getting all the naughties I can and just eating them. Pure decadence and indulgence. I haven't though
im going to wait til this time next week (if i can!!) to see if anything shows up!
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