Hi ladies

I just want to say after reading your posts that you are all truly brave and remarkable people. I know you all know that (truthfully) but just reading your stories is just heartbreaking. It is not fair is it. It is hard to be positive when things aren't going our way but what else can we do - we MUST stay positive no matter how hard it is.

Again i am sorry to you all for losing your precious angels.


Bailey - your Hen's day today - wow - where did you go and how was it ?

Spring - Congrats on being preggers - what a wonderful time for you and it is very exciting for us all. It will give me strength and more positive vibes to know that it can happen. I know it can it just takes time....

Lynn - sorry to hear about your tests but stay positive for this week. I know what it is like to have your body all over the place - why does this happen (is it just our hormones playing up or what) - very strange ???

Mel - Sorry to hear you have been trying for 7 months - i know it feels like it is going on forever but i know you will get there soon ... With this levovist test, if the tubes are "blocked" would they do a curette to unblock ? My sister had a test (not sure if it was this particular test) to see if tubes were blocked and they cleaned it out by curette i believe - and that was what she needed to fall again. With people making insensitive comments (or not saying anything at all) - i think they just don't know what to say to be honest. A week after we lost our son a friend of a friend came up to me and said "the hospital didn't do you any favours did they !" I nearly burst out crying as i was not blaming the hospital (well it hadn't crossed my mind at that stage)...other people have said "well she can just have another"..."yeh right - not as easy as that and the one we lost will not been forgotten you know (it is not about replacing) !!!"

People can make us very frustrated and hurt us but i try (although hard) to think that they do not know what it is like to lose a baby. My closest friends couldn't even ring me as they didn't know what to say. With one of them i ended up ringing her on day 2 and it took her ages to pick up her phone, knowing it was me. I said "girls - we are friends and we can talk about this and anything - if anything like this (or another tragedy) happens again to anyone i want all of us to pick up the phone to comfort those in need". I think we have to educate those that don't know what it is like, exactly what it is like. I do still get p***ed off when i see a person and they don't say anything (and never have) and i dont' get the opportunity to say anything.

Now can anyone offer any advice or experiences on this ? In Feb i got my first period since the birth and within 5 weeks i had 3 normal periods ..NOT! Rang the ob and he said not normal but it should settle....great....now i am on day 30 and no AF. I am usually on a 28 day cycle (when my body is normal) and am not used to this. I have had pains (abdominal, back etc) all throughout the 30 days (not consistent) so i feel that my period is coming but nothing. I did a HPT last week but BPN. Any suggestions ? I can't believe i am saying this but i actually want a period to come (well if i was pg that would be better) as i think i am going the other way and will have a period at day 60 or 600 !!!

Anyway - better go and talk soon. Big hugs to you all.