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Thread: TTC after Stillbirth/ Recurrent Miscarriage or Loss after the First Trimester

  1. #91

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    Mel: I'm glad that you have the chance to relax and enjoy some time with DH. Don't think that you are being unstable. What you are experiencing is totally normal and as Michelle said, she experienced the same emotions when trying to fall. I want the world for you. I have also just emailed you the pictures of my scan today, I understand if you don't want to look but you mentioned in your last post that you would like to see them.

    Tess: A big sorry from me from thinking that you had a son already. I hope that I didn't upset or offend you. I think I just got myself totally confused. I hope that it didn't cause you any worry. Big :hugs: sweetie.

    Flowerchild: I think an early night is the best thing. Thank you for reassuring me that I am still welcome. I know it is a little self indulgent, but I was begining to worry that I was outstaying my welcome. Thanks also Mel for letting me know that I am not about to be booted out.

    Lynn: How are you sweetie? Has the witch arrived yet? I hope she arrives soon and is easy going on you so that you can begin the next cycle. You are a gem, you deserve so much from this life. I hope you don't mind but I sent you the email of lil Spring also, just delete it if it is too hard to look at. I honestly won't be offended.



    Michelle: I've said it before and I'll say it again, you are such a brave soul. Thank you for sharing your story with us all. It is nice to see that people who have experienced this pain have survived and will have healthy babies.

    To everyone else a huge Friday night hello

    Here's to the weekend. I'll be stalking BB all weekend as my DH substitute (lol)

    Luv Spring

  2. #92

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    Hi everyone,

    Wow can you lot talk!! I don't know if I can keep up with it all. I'll try.

    Mel - I know you got another BFN but you still have a couple of days right? I resisted the urge to test again today, I am trying to wait til monday. Yeah right! But even if AF comes this month, maybe embrace the witch, cos hopefully it will be your last visit from her for a year or so. Now that you have finished up work, I am sure that it will just happen. As I told you, with my two pregnancies, I fell when I was on hols and not working. It is great that you OB has a few things up his sleeve though for the next couple of months though. It's great to hear that the tests that you have had show everything is perfect. Thankyou for sharing Nicolas' song. I know the song well, my mum used to play it when I was little, I never really thought about the words, but when I read them in your post, it is just a perfect choice and so beautiful. I will think of you and Nicholas everytime I hear it now. Oh and when you said in the post about being unstable - if there is a group of chook's that are entitled to be a little bonkers every now and then, it's us!! So don't worry. Enjoy your time with the kids over the weekend, you will need all the practise you can get right

    Lynn - How are you feeling? It is hard to hear you saying that you should have known. It is the first thing that I said when they told me my little one was gone. I just kept thinking, what kind of mother am I that I didn't even know that there was something wrong. Or worse, I always had a feeling something wasn't quite right with this pregnancy and I pushed those thoughts away and didn't do anything about it, not that anything could have been done for little Asha. But there is absolutely nothing that can be done, once you realise that something isn't right, it's usually too late. Please don't ever blame yourself, this will only put stress on all of your future pregnancies. You know, last night I was thinking about all of our future bub's and I thought, these little buggers will be the luckiest kids in the whole world, cos their mum's know what it is like to lose their babies and they will cherish everything about theses next babies and appreciate them like no one ever could unless they have been through what we have. What little Cooper has given his little brothers and/or sisters is the best mum in the world who will adore them and give them the best possible life. I hope you are feeling better. Oh, and about the recorder at school, could anyone actually play those well? I am having massive flashbacks of those dribble-filled obnoxious instruments. Our poor teachers.

    Spring - What you talkin' 'bout Willis? Sorry if you are too young to understand that, but you can't leave us!! you need to stay here and send us all of your leftover baby germs. Plus, we all now have a vested interest in Lil' Spring now. this poor kid will have that many crazy but doting aunties I think if you left this thread we'd all just follow you around BB anyway, lol. But seriously, I think we need to see that this is possible for all of us and we will all get our little tickers too! Yes, I admit, I just want to get UTD so I can go and design a cute little ticker, lol. And your birthplan, it is great that you have an OB that is willing to compromise and take your fears into consideration. You say it is a little far off, but how fast is it coming along? it doesn't feel like that long ago that you announced your BFP. Avoid the csection if you can, as I was telling you, they aren't that bad if everything goes to plan, but it's not worth the risk if you can avoid. But also keep in mind that you can demand it if you get to the stage that you think you need it. You a tough cookie though, you can go natural, you have already done the hardest thing anyone can ever do, give birth to an angel, so bringing out Lil Spring should be a walk in the park.

    Flowerchild - How are you feeling? I hope you are ok.

    Hello to Dream and Tess and anyone that I have left out, I hope you all have a great weekend.

  3. #93

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    Bailey - LOL at "what you talkin' 'bout Willis?" My sister and I say that to each other all the time, I usually dont say it to others cause they look at me like WTF!!! Well done on the willpower and avoiding testing, even though I really dont think I am pg I know I wont be able to stop myself until the day AF arrives. I dont know why I continue when each one upsets me. I hope youre right and now that I have finished up work that it will happen in no time. You could get a TTC ticker, the site that I got my ticker from has pretty cool options, anything cookie monster like I have to tigger or pooh and non cartoon ones as well. Oh and by the way, I hate to say it but I am one of those dorks who was really good at recorder - I was the best in my class so my parents got me into flute lessons and I sucked big time LOL. My dad is a muso (or should I say ex, he is 58 this year) so I have just grown up with it I guess.

    Spring - Thanks for the email, lil Spring is gorgeous and I cant wait until you are at that 20 week or so mark when you can see every feature of their tiny little faces. I will chat to you tomorrow.

    Lynn - Again, I hope you are ok

    Deb - Sorry to hear the cramping was getting worse, you really are in my thoughts :hugs:

    Goodnight, sleep tight, dont let the bed bugs bite

  4. #94

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    Hey Mel, ha ha on the Willis. I knew it was a risk to put it in, cos same here, people are always looking at me like I am mad - they'd be right. But it really was a What you talkin' 'bout moment, so I just needed to have it there. Thank god you got it Oh and the recorder thing, good for you. I was about 6 and I could tell our class was terrible. I can hear it in my head now woooo woooo woooo, no tunes just that monotone whistle sound. I must admit, I did like the little bag mine came in. Also, I had a shiny black one, and everyone else was that bad brown or cream, ha ha I do remember the boy that say next to me in class always had to wipe his desk after recorder, there was dribble everywhere. Oh man, I can't wait to get a ticker...maybe I'll get one for something really irrelevant. I'll think of something!

  5. #95

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    Mel - there was never any reason for me not being able to fall pregnant. The clomid was a way of increasing the ovulation hormones and the progesterone level. My OB said I was ovulating - just not well I seem to take between 9-12 months between pregnancies before I can fall pregnant again. Just my body and its personal schedule. I am more than happy to remind you how normal you are anytime you need it

    Spring - thank you

  6. #96

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    LMAO - Yeah that sound, I used to be able to play hit the road jack and greensleeves and of course the all time favourite baa baa black sheep. Oh the memories! I am so jealous I always wanted a black one but only got a crappy cream one I used to tell my parents that I was so deprived as a child, not only with the recorder but I also wanted a Barbie bus which I NEVER got LOL at the kid with the drool, gross but funny.

    Re the ticker you are still entitled to a ticker if TTC, time ticks by every single day just like when pg so why not get yourself one. I get bored with mine all the time and create a new one. I get bored very easily actually.

  7. #97

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    Michelle, in a way it is comforting to know that there was no reason for the length of time it took you other than your bodies own schedule. Maybe in the next couple of months my body will work out its own schedule and I will be able to join the PG thread too. Thanks again

  8. #98

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    Anytime The hardest part for me was feeling so alone. BB has been a blessing and I am pleased to be able to give back.

  9. #99

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    Mel - Greensleeve's AND Hit the Road Jack!! You must have been in Super-Advanced Recorder, cos I can only remember Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and even then, I don't remember us actually getting the tune, just a whole lot of woooo's. Wow, is that what the little holes are for, the tune?? Lol, I thought it was just a spit release

  10. #100

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    Oh well - another Guess I should be used to this huh... but I'm not

    How you feeling Deb? Hope the crampy feeling has eased

    Hi to everyone else.

  11. #101

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    Hard as it is, be patient with yourself. Your body has undergone an ordeal that often takes as long to return to normal as it did to get to that state. You never get used to the negatives no matter how many you see but I understand the need to BE pregnant, and preferably yesterday

  12. #102

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    I know you're right, not only does our body through an ordeal but I guess also our head which I am pretty sure isnt helping the situation And yes, yesterday would be great.

  13. #103

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    Spring - I'm so glad that your scan went well. Only you can make the decision on when you want bubba born and how. I can totally understand the freak out because all you want is that little bubba screaming in your arms. Whatever you decide to do, you have my support and I'm sure you will choose whatever is best for you and bubba. It is good to have a plan but also remember that you can change your mind at any time. Thank you so much for emailing me the scans. Of course I didn't delete it!! I looked at lil' Spring and got a tear (but a good one!!!) I am just so happy for you and glad that everything is going ok. I just wish I was travelling this journey with you! I will be there soon......very soon. Positive thinking.

    Mel - I'm sorry that you got another BFN. I just don't know what to say because I know how you feel. Every time I got one, it just breaks your heart and you just don't understand because you think you have done everything right - if it's like me you have probably been bedding for what seems like forever and you think how did I miss it
    I hope you had a nice quiet night last night and relaxed. Hope the kids are being good for you today

    Bailey - :hugs: to you. Your words are so true - thank you. I know that I can't blame myself and that it probably isn't helping with fall pg. I will think of this next time I am in the deep hole! You are so right about cherishing our bubbas. I am going to kiss and cuddle my babies so much and spoil them rotten (not brats though - need to find that line lol) And they will be the luckiest kids because they will have a angel watching over them and protecting them for their whole lives.

    Deb - I hope the cramping has eased up a bit. I have been thinking of you and hope you are doing 'ok'. Big :hugs: to you.

    Nat - I hope you are having a nice relaxing weekend and not too busy! Take care, talk soon

    Well no AF for me yet which in a way is good and in a way is bad - totally confused! Me too. Well it is good that it hasn't come yet because I am only 7dpo (I think) so I am hoping that I get close to 14dpo before she arrives because at least that is close to normal. Last month it came 7dpo which isn't good so maybe this month it will be closer to 14 and my body is starting to get on track. The bad thing is I can't start to plan next month until she arrives - aghhhhhhh I can't control it, so I will just sit back and wait! I'm having a BT on Monday to check my prog levels so it will be interesting to get those results. Not good having a BT on my birthday!!! But that's ok, don't really feel like celebrating when I don't have my baby here with me. Another year older without any earth babies.

    Enjoy your weekend my special friends

    Luv & hugs
    Lynn
    xxxxxxxxxxxxx

  14. #104
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    Hello ladies, have been on the road in far north queensland for a week so it's just taken me most of the day to catch up on all the goss and it seems to have been quite a week. Don't think I have enough of a handle to do too many personals but to Deb I am just so devastated that this wasn't the one - I am absolutely amazed and inspired by your strength and courage, I'm so scared that I will just fall apart if it's happens again but you are an inspiration.

    Mel and Lynn I'm so sorry you are having a tough month and there wasn't a BFP to celebrate, sounds like you are both in a better place now though and ready to face the next round?

    Spring it's wonderful to hear your scan was great and you are so well - I for one enjoy hearing how you are going and would miss the updates if you left so please hang around and bring some good baby luck into the forum!

    I think I'm curently on CD 23, (my ticker isnt working and never seems too!) and this morning have been feeling quite 'off' - I noticed some of the posts about how early can you tell, I guess there is no formula and is probably always different but I can live in hope! Not sure if it is really too early to test - I'm very tempted, haven't yet turned into a test junkie because I'm scared if I open the gates I may never stop doing it!!!!

    Its interesting that a lot of you talk about testing HCG levels right from the start, it's something my OB has never done, he just gets me in for a scan at 6 weeks to check for a heart beat - is it something I should be asking for? The only other thing he has ever suggested is the progesterone pessaries (which didn't work)....Nat you asked me once what meds they had me on, is there something else he could/should be considering?

    Hi to everyone else, hope you are having a lovely weekend and are giving yourselves a well earned treat of some description..

  15. #105

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    Oh Lynn: I didn't realise that it is your birthday on Monday!! We will have to catch up some time soon so that I can give you a birthday pressy. I know you really don't feel like celebrating, but a birthday is a time to be spoilt so I hope that it is a special day for you. I understand your mixed feelings about AF, I too hope that you get closer to the 14 DPO but I also hope that she turns up soon (not making much sense am I0

    Mel: I'm sorry that you got another BFN how are you going with the kids there today? I hope that they behave for you. I know that Monday is fast approaching so just know that I am thinking of you. Talk to you tonight.

    Bailey: 'What you talkin 'bout Willis' is that something to do with that short black man who used to be on TV? Or may be the A Team, oh no that is 'I pitty the fool', can you explain it to me as you can see I have no idea. But thank you for making me feel so welcome 'you complete me' (lol)

    Flowerchild: I totally understand that you need some time to yourself at the moment, but if you are reading these threads, I just wanted to make sure that you knew that we are all thinking about you.

    Well I have had a bit of a rough day. DH has been a bit weird about Lil Spring, he just doesn't seem excited and I guess it all came to a head yesterday when I tried to call him after the scan (which I said I would) and it went to his message bank. We talked about it today and he was totally honest with me and said that he is so nervous and scared about this pregnancy that he feels like when I call, he is so overcome that he can't answer. Now this is a big thing for DH to admit. He puts on the 'everthing is going to be great' face and as far as I could tell he was just disinterested, now I know that this is his protection mechanism and his way to protect himself by not allowing himself to get excited. At first I was so glad that he was honest and opened up to me but now I feel really worried. DH has always been the one to say 'it is going to be ok' and now is he having doubts. Should I be worried? It is a huge thing for him to admit he is scared, he is such a tough bloke that the stress is really getting to him. I told him I loved him no matter what and that being honest with me helps me to understand his actions now, I guess I just needed to get it off my chest and we can talk to the pshyc about it on Thursday. I am also letting doubts enter my mind about my Ob. He is certain that he doesn't want to induce me earlier that 38 weeks, should I listen to him or should I go elsewhere? I am just feeling really confused and really unsettled about it all. Doesn't help that DH isn't home at the moment.

    Oh well, I am sure we will sort it all out.

    Luv Spring

  16. #106

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    Spring - I'm sorry that you are going through this by yourself and you don't DH at home with you. I'm sure that he is just as scared as you are but at the same time is there to support you. He is probably scared because he hasn't seen lil' Spring like you have. Maybe when he is home next week and he goes with you and he sees lil' Spring, he will be more excited. I don't think he is having doubts, he is probably upset that he isn't there for you at the moment and just isn't as strong as he normally is.
    Is your ob definite about not inducing before 38 weeks? I guess it is a decision that you will have to make soon because you don't want to get to near the end and then you really want to be induced at 36 and he won't do it. Maybe have another chat to him and ask him his reasons and this might help you to go through to 38. Also being in hospital might help too because you can be monitored. I guess I don't really know the risks of inducing at 36 weeks so can't really advise you - sorry I wish I could. I know this is a difficult decision but I know you will work out what is best for you. Remember at the end of the day, it is your decision. Take care and I'm thinking of you.

  17. #107

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    Ahhh Spring - you have to love the male mind. It is their *job* to protect us, to say it is all fine and to put on a tough front.

    My DH didn't truly cry and let me see how distressed he was after Caitlyn was born until the night after her funeral. It was then that he sobbed and let it all out. A close male friend of his rang us on Sunday for Caitlyn's EDD anniversary which brought him to tears too.

    They are marshmallows with a tough coating. I have no doubt our next scan (which DH can't be at) will leave him in a complete state waiting for the phone call, purely because last pregnancy when I rang him it was to tell him *lentil* didn't have a heartbeat and our baby was dead (not the kind of phone call you want to receive). He has been to all the scans this time so far.

    It took a lot of courage for your man to admit how he feels. We have no guarentees in this world and it is hard to hold up the end of positivity all the time. That doesn't mean he thinks it will all go wrong, just that he has doubts at times too ..... which is completely normal.

    As for the OB, well I would say stick with them at this stage. They have already suggested monitoring (in hospital if needed) from 36 weeks. See how you are emotionally as this pregnancy progresses. You may be able to discuss the option of an elective c-section at a later stage and if needed you can change your mind (and your doctor) later. It is not something that needs to be completed today, or even this month. You have a baby to grow that needs another 25 weeks of cooking before that decision is required

  18. #108

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    Oh Spring I am sorry you are having a rough day. I can really understand where DH is coming from, I think it is almost natural to protect yourself "just in case" you know, he is probably just so terrified not only of himself going through losing another child but probably most of all seeing his wife who he loves with all his heart go through it. As much as we sometimes get caught up in how WE feel (I am so guilty of this), our DH's lives have been shattered as well and I think they just dont show it. If you think about it, you are scared yourself which is totally natural and I am sure he feels the same way. He is probably thinking the same way us mums do... how will we cope if we have to bury another child? I think it is great that he was honest with you and I can imagine how difficult itt was for him to do that, he wouldnt want to upset you and he knew that is was possible. I think it says alot about your relationship that he can be so honest, and that you can accept his honesty. Although, just because he is worried doesnt mean that there IS anything to worry about, he is just being cautious. Re your OB I really think only you can know what is the right thing to do, you know how comfortable he makes you feel and if you have confidence in him, maybe you should stick it out. However, you are the one with the power, this is your baby and at the end of the day after everything you have been through, you should have the option to do what YOU feel is best for you and your baby. Did you say DH was going with you during the week? Maybe wait to make any decisions until then and discuss it between you and make a joint decision then. Anyway, probably should have just waited til I speak to you but didnt want you to sit there all afternoon stressing.

    Mish, nice to see you back. Sorry but I cant give any info about HCG levels cause I never had my levels done when I was pregnant with Nicholas. But, I really hope you a

    Mel

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