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Thread: TTC after Stillbirth/ Recurrent Miscarriage or Loss after the First Trimester

  1. #109

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    P.S. "What you talkin' 'bout Willis?" is that short black guy from Different Strokes. LOL at "you complete me" I love Austin Powers. But the mini-me guy is a bit creepy. He is on the Foxtel show Surreal Life and he just freaks me out bad.


  2. #110

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    Thanks Lynn and Michelle

    You are so right, they are big marshmallows with a tough coating. With my first pregnancy DH came to every appointment and it wasn't until he was holding Harrison after I had given birth that he cried. He had kept it together the whole labour which astonished me as I was crying so hard I was making myself sick.

    I think my ob is fairly certain about the 38 week mark. I know he is trying to give me the confidence to get to 38 weeks but I feel ill just thinking about it. I am considering getting a doula to help me more with my preparation. I just keep thinking, what if at the 36 week mark, something in me switches on which caused me to lose Harry. I know that none of the medical evidence suggests that, but how can they be sure. I am driving myself insane thinking about it.

    DH will be at my appointment with me next Thursday and although he will listen to everything the Dr advises, I know if I say I can't make it to 38, then he will support me. Apparently with taking a baby out early (before they are ready) there is an increased risk of respiratory (sp?) distress and some babies need assistance breathing, in the worst case ventilation and risk of infection is higher.

    I have made a decision though, I am going to try my hardest to get to 38 weeks but if I can't, I am going to turn up at the hospital with my bag and DH and induce myself (lol) I'll probably get admitted to the pshyc ward instead.

    Luv Spring

  3. #111

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    Sorry Lynn I didnt see your post before, I see what you mean sort of like a catch 22 - you just want it to come but then you want it to hold off longer, I really do hope it holds off a bit longer now I think because as you said it means your cycle may be getting some sort of routine. I didnt realise it was your birthday on Monday either, I wont say happy birthday now I will save it til then. I totally understand why you are not looking forward to your birthday, I felt exactly the same you do when it was my birthday. "Another year older without earth babies" - exactly.



    Love Mel

  4. #112

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    Sorry Mel, just missed your post.

    You are right, I am going to be empowered and make the decision that is right for me. Nothing can take that away from me. I am very happy with my OB but feeling a little railroaded at the moment. Perhaps I can write down how I feel and give it to him in writing. It is so hard to communicate when you are at the appointment because all I want to see is that heartbeat and everything else is a blur.

    Oh and thanks for the tip on 'What you talkin 'bout Willis" I think I was on the right track with the guy I was thinking of.

    Talk later.
    Spring

  5. #113

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    Thanks Mel. I knew you would understand the whole birthday thing because you felt the same way. It just isn't fair to be turning another year older without our babies. I just find it hard because I have been trying for a baby since I was 26 so here comes 29 and my arms are empty.

    I know Monday will be hard day for you so if I don't hear from you, I understand :hugs: I will be thinking of you and Nicholas

  6. #114

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    Hey gals,
    Just a quickie, we are off to the footy tonight to see my team get flogged as usual, but I will come back later tonight.

    Spring - Please don't stress out to much about DH, as everyone has said, they just deal with things differently, and he must be so scared. You have to remember that they are still cavemen,lol, well mine is anyway, and they think they have to protect us, as not only is he petrified about becoming attatched to this baby like he was and is to Harrison, he is so worried about you too. I am positive he is distancing himself a little so that he can be strong for you. Imagine how it must be for him, his current and past jobs are all about being a protector in a sense so this must be instilled in him, so he must be so protective over you and it must just kill him to not only go through losing his son that he couldn't protect, but to see you so upset all the time, and with the added stress of another pregnancy and being away from you. It must be so hard on him. I can understand this whole distanceing yourself thing, it is what I did automatically when I found out Asha had died. I was like just take her out, I don;t want to know or see anything, it was just my brain shutting me down I guess so I could cope. My DP never talks about it all unless I almost force him and though he wants another baby so much, he doesn't talk about the future with 2 kids anymore like he did when I was pregnant, so I think that he is kind of doing the same thing as your DH. I know that it is not that they are disinterested, it has to be because they are trying to be strong and prepared for whatever might come. Don't give yourself more things to worry about. You take it easy and be good to you and Lil' Spring. When you guys see that little baby for the first time, I am sure he will turn to jelly. Oh and with the OB and going to 38 weeks, I would just humour him and go along with what he says, when you get closer to the time, you may feel different about going early, and if you don't and still want Lil Spring out, then it is your choice and they will have to take your history and stress levels into account. As stressful as being pregnant must be, you, like me had the feeling that something wasn't right with our babies, and you said to me you didn't have that feeling this time, so trust yoursef and your body and try to relax. This baby WILL be coming home with you, he/she has a special big brother that will make sure of it. I hope you are feeling better after getting it off your chest. Sorry, I have been babbling I know, but I just really hope you are ok. Oh and lol at the A team, that was my brothers favourite.

    Mel - Sorry about BFN. I tried not to test today, but I did and I am the same. I think I have officially joined the Test Junkie club I even went and bought more today!
    Hey, how funny is the Surreal life? Did you watch the one where Mini-Me got really drunk and rode around the house on his scooter in the nude? Creepy but I couldn't turn away.

    Well, I will come back on later and punish you all later after I return from the footy. Go the Rabbitohs!!

  7. #115

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    I don't know what someone has done with my caveman husband and where this new SNAG has come from. I just spoke to him then and he said his eyes welled with tears when he opened my email with the scan pics of Lil Spring. He said his feelings about this pregnancy are so amplified because of the fear and nervousness. What a sweetie, I just want to give him a big cuddle but I can't. I will see him on Tuesday because I am in Canberra for work but it will only be for a few hours. It is Harry's 5 month Birthday so no doubt we will both just sit in and cry. Well at least we can be together.

    He is such a wonderful man and I am just in an emotional mood. I think those pregnancy hormones are really kicking in.

    Bailey: thanks for your kind words, everything you said made complete sense to me. I hope your footy team came up with the goods.

    Talk later

    Lv Spring

  8. #116

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    Spring you will be able to give your DH the biggest hug on Tuesday. That is good that you will be together for Harrison's 5 month birthday and if you both sit and cry, it doesn't matter because you are together. I'm glad you are feeling better about DH emotions. I guess we forget that men have emotions too.

    Bailey - Just watch the end of the footy game and your team lost by 2 at least it wasn't a flogging!

    I went out to dinner with some friends tonight and my closest friend told me that she is moving to Brisbane. Her husband goes at the end of March and she is going in August. I said noooooooooooooo I need you here and she said that she is only an hour away by plane and that she will be back by the end of the year to meet my second baby - she is so positive, I hope it rubs off on me.

  9. #117

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    Hi Lynn

    I know how hard it is to be away from friends, but don't worry, I'll take good care of you and it gives you the perfect excuse to visit beautiful Brissy.

    Bailey: Bummer about your team. Hopefully it was an exciting game anyway.

    Mel: so nice to talk to you. I'm off to bed now.

    Big love until tomorrow
    Spring

  10. #118

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    Thanks Spring I know you will look after me and I appreciate that.

    Have a good nights sleep. Sweet dreams.

    Luv & hugs
    Lynn
    xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  11. #119

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    Hey all,

    Yes, my team lost by 2 stinking points...but I am ok, I've gone for the poor bunnies my whole life, and they always lose, so I am used to it

    Spring - Yay on your snag. That is excellent. I know I babbled on lots before, but I could see a little of what you must have been feeling. It's not fair that you two should be apart during this time. Cheeky Lil' Spring, giving mum and dad all this worry. You will have to ground them and punish them with love and kisses when they get here.

    Lynn - I am sorry about your friend moving away. That sucks. One of my closest friends lives in Germany at the moment. But you have lots of bestie's here to look after you.:hugs: ha ha, I went to put the hugs smilie here and I accidently put the BD'ing one on and had to change it. We really would be looking after you then huh? Lol.

    and to everyone

  12. #120

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    Well just when I thought life was going smoothly, I find some blood on the toilet paper. It was only microscopic, but it was there. No cramping or pain, just a few small dots.

    I don't know what to do. My Ob isn't in his offices on Monday and I am in Canberra on Tuesday. Why does this have to happen?

    Every time I see blood I immediately think the worse. I hope that is the last of it. I can't handle anymore. My next appointment is on Thursday, but I don't know if I can make it till then. I would never forgive myself if my first scan with DH and there was no heartbeat.

    I have my obs mobile number so perhaps I should call him tomorrow. I know I had a scan on Friday but I can't wait until Thursday for another one.

  13. #121

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    Spring - It is so not fair that you have to go through this. I am positive the spotting or "spot" is just that and nothing else. But I know that it doesn't matter what anyone says, you need medical reassurance. Call your OB, call him now, he wouldn't have given you his number if he didn't want you to call if you need to. Just to put your mind at ease.
    Let us know how you go OK. Thinking of you.

  14. #122

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    Spring, It is so scary seeing blood when you are pregnant. It is terrifying I know...
    HOWEVER, your baby has been growing beautifully. Some bleeding in pregnancy occurs in 1 in 3 pregnancies. I have had it and gone on to have a healthy term baby. Michelle has had bleeding with Alf and look at him go!
    I think it would be a really good idea to phone your obs tomorrow. If a repeat u/s will make you feel better then I would DEFINITELY do it. For now, the bleeding sounds very scant. There is no pain. This is all very very good. Have a warm drink and a warm shower and go to bed and try and sleep. I will light my candle for you tonight and keep you in my prayers and thoughts. If I can do anything let me know oka... I really think that Lil Spring is fine.

  15. #123

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    Spring - I had bleeding at 10, 11 and 12 weeks. Less each time but still blood. *alfie* is still doing good so try to take some deep breaths and get the scan ASAP for reassurance. Big

  16. #124

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    Hi girls

    FIrst of all, everything is ok.

    Well I am nominating my OB for OB of the year, make that the century.

    I spoke to DH and sort of lost it so he said to call my ob. So I called him and he was at the hospital about to go home after delivering a baby girl. He said he would wait for me to get there to give me a scan.

    Well Lil Spring is in there kicking away and looked like he/she was waving hello, as if to say, don't worry mumma.

    I am so relieved but of course worried that it may get worse. Ob said he would see me every day if I needed it so I think I said thank you about a million times. I wanted jump of that bed and give him a hug but resisted. I'm sure he thinks I'm crazy as it is. How many obs do you know that would see you on a Sunday night, give you a scan and not charge a cent? He is Wonderful.

    Luv Spring and naughty lil Spring

  17. #125

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    That's aweome Spring. I had been hanging around abit to hear what happened, hoping you were going to call him tonight. What a great ob! This must have erased any doubts about him that you were having the other day. Wow, what a cheeky little bugger you have on your hand's huh.

  18. #126

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    Well he said he would do whatever it took to get me to 38 weeks and he seems to be a man of his word.

    I feel heaps better but still a litte freaked out. I think if I can get through tonight and tomorrow with no more spotting then I will relax a little. It is almost 10 here and I haven't had dinner so I am going to go and try to find something.

    There is a huge storm coming so it is going to be a long night with the dogs for me so I think I'll stalk BB for a while yet.

    Oh well, don't think I could sleep anyway.

    Lv Spring

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