Thanks everyone..

I did let her know last night (not verbally, my bro insisted on doing that), and she was 'ok' with it. It is just a relief to me that I am not going to be getting all these messages about how much things are going to cost and the money is needed soon..

Townsvillegirl - Mum had offered to help out, but their finances aren't the best at moment, and they will also be paying the same as us to go, and it was the principle, she has to accept that our family doesn't have that kind of money to throw around (heaven knows how she will get on when she moves out, but that is a whole other thread), but my brother was willing to pay, just not her.

Pheonix, I was starting to worry that I was so out of touch with the bride/bridesmaid thing.. I had 4 bridesmaids, and they paid what they wanted/could afford, and of course, for their help etc, I gave them all a vase as a gft.. The girl who paid $300 only did so cause she bought a pair of shoes for $200 cause she loved them till they died (I requested black and closed in, besides that I didn't care).. They also had the dress made for a style that suited them, they were all different, but same material. I wanted them to be comfortable too.

Anyhow, thanks for the advice, I can know sit back, think about what I am going to wear, know that I can afford to make it, and maybe even afford a decent pressie