Is this rude ? ... Wedding ... Couple asking for money as a gift !!

[Snoopea]

I agree that it's rude, but it seems to be the way things are going these days. I went to a baby shower and the invitation asked for a donation to there wishing well, my sister in law set up a honeymoon account with heavenly honey moons, where you payed a portion of there honeymoon. It seems to have become the way of the future, it seems to be becoming more popular and I guess it saves the searching for a gift!

[smiles4u]

A huge " THANK YOU " to everyone for giving me such insight into the subject asked

... I understand that more couples are going this way in asking for monies as a Wedding Gift BUT I hadn't realised that some couples simply don't give you a choice ... That's where I personally do still think that is a rude gester to be asking for money ONLY

Whether it be in a poem or not, it's still ' asking for money ' no matter what way it is written !!!!

... And for the Wishing Well idea my SIL had that for her Wedding last year & I honestly looked through the romantic notion that it's meant to give !!! I felt sickened when I witness SIL & her new DH mentioned that they got more money then they expected & that they should have got married earlier ... The money as a gift ONLY lost the special thought's & caring efforts that any guests could have put into a purchased gift.

Honestly how hard is it to find a Wedding Gift Next it will be MONEY asked for at 18th & 21st birthday parties !!!!!

I myself could NEVER ask for MONEY for a Wedding Gift no matter which way I went about asking for it.

Today's society has become so money orientated that it looks like they have lost the idea of 'giving' a gift !!!!!!!!

Call me old fashion but if I'm going to ask for money as a gift I would much rather save ' some guests ' (I'm not saying that's ALL guests) the embarrassment. I as a personal choice would rather ASK for NO GIFTS on my invites if it came to that.

It would mean more to me that everyone joined in & helped celebrate the Wedding Day & if they want to give a gift, it would be accepted with gratefulness & cherished as something sentimental, even if it was a toaster.

I do know for a fact some of the Elderly relatives that I have come across themselves feel this has become a rude manner of today's society, that couples ask ONLY for money as a Wedding Gift

As for Wedding in question that I have been invited to, this Family sadly does judge people by their financial status. That's clearly one of the reasons why I have great concern in giving money as their Wedding Gift

THANK YOU " SNOOPEA " ... for making me feel like I'm not the only one here feeling like it is something considered rude in manner

... Thanks once again to ALL for your input ... It is very much so greatly appreciated :

[briggsy's girl]

i think with how common it is for couples to live together before marriage - and often to have a family BEFORE they tie the knot - traditional "gifts" are rarely appropriate. it used to be that your smaller household items (toaster, kettle, microwave at a stretch) were normal wedding gifts, but there are few people who don't already have these by the time they wed - and i can't see the point in people stressing over trying to find something unique to fit in a house that is already complete. we did get a couple of gifts - a lovely vase and matching candle holder set, a photo frame that matched these (no idea how - they came from people that didn't know each other!) - but in all honesty, most people thanked us for taking the pressure out of finding something. we didn't ask for cash cos we wanted people to know what their "money" had gone toward. we still haven't finished painting the house through as we're doing it ourselves - but we know that the guests at our wedding have paid for the reno's we're doing - and several have commented that they appreciate knowing that we've been able to make use of their "gift". i guess we will all have differing views on this one from our own personal experiences. i've been to several weddings where a wishing well was available - for most of them, we have given money, but for one couple, that asked for money to build a fence, i refused to give them money as i knew it wouldn't happen. i found them a gift i knew they could use instead. and i was right. 3 years later, they still don't have a fence up!

do what it is YOU are most comfortable. if you don't want to give them cash - simply don't! find them something you're comfortable giving them. and don't let the family attitude towards your financial status get to you - not worth it! go and join the couple as they celebrate their day



oh yeah - FWIW - the most treasured "things" from our wedding day are the cards - the personal well wishes that i look at and remember those people sharing our day with us. their words, and those memories, will be there forever. very few "things" will last that long