I agree that is really rude and selfish on his behalf. Just to make you feel better re your wedding plans. My BIL & SIL did exactly what you are planning. They married on the family property in the woolshed, the only people who witnessed the ceremony was immediate family and a couple of their very very close friends. We then went to a hall and again just these people had a meal and they had some speeches. Then at 8.00pm the rest of the guests arrived, they had finger food, a band, did the bridal waltz then and also had some more speeches and cutting of the cake.
It worked for them, it was what they wanted, they didn't want to stand up in from of 100 people and say their vows, and I think people resepcted their choice. The rest of the guests still got to see them in their wedding clothes and help them celebrate.
Good Luck I hope the rest of your plans run smoothly