Babies Born in July 2006 #3

[Fraser]

Hi ladies,

I need help - I have SIL problems. some of you may remember my brothers wife had a baby 3 weeks before I did - her first as well. We get along quite well, I enjoy her company but she is the sort of person that will only do what she wants to do and manipulates others into doing what she wants so that she doesn't have to ask.

ok my problem is this. She thinks that we we can spend all day every day together..... My brother is a chef and gets Tues and Weds off - thankfully that means she spends time with him, but the other week days means she is here ALL day. I don't know wht to do.

We go for long walks which is very good and I enjoy them, but she then stays for up to 6 hours. I made the stupid mistake of giving her a key a while ago (she lives close by and I thought it might be andy to have a spare key offsite) problem is, she now lets herself in using the excuse 'I didn't want to wake Charlie by ringing the bell' - so now I don't even have the option to hide when she drops around because she'll just let herself in.

I don't know what to do - DH is furious I gave her a key, I can't work up the courage to ask her not to let herself in.

This morning she rang to see what I was doing and I said I needed to get Charlie settled into his morning routine, as we're having problems with day time sleep and perhaps we could go for a walk in the arvo - she said, no worries, Ava will be up at 10.30 so I'll see you around 11...... was I not clear enough???

It wouldn't be a problem if we have heaps to talk about - but we just go over the same stuff all the time. Birth this, pregnancy that, Baby this - annoying husband that (bearing in mind her husband is my brother, but that doesn't stop her from *****ing about him)

aarrrrgggghhhhhh I have to type fast because I know she'll be here soon, and she'll let herself in and I don't want her to read this over my shoulder.......... what a chicken!!!


what can I do??????????

HHHHEEEEEELLLLLLPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!

[Cassie]

Morning all

We took Dylan to get his immunisations this morning at the local council and then we left without getting them done, what chickens!!! We decided to get them done by our family doctor even though it will cost us but when we got there at 10.10am (it started at 10) there were so many poeople there and we knew we would be waiting for ages plus there were lots of kids crying already and I think we both couldn't quite cope so we left, what wooses!!! Anyway we are booked in for Wednesday with our GP. (BTW I had already had tears this morning about the immunisations how will I cope with the real thing).

Fraser You poor thing I am feeling for you majorly. I hate people coming over all the time that would really s**t me. I think you need to perhaps talk to your brother about it first but approach it very carefully. Or you could suggest to your SIL that you meet for a daily walk and tell her where you should walk to and from and then at the end say goodbye to her and don't invite her back to yours, you could even drop her off at her house or something like that and don't give her the opportunity to come over. That's my idea anyway.

Bubsey I will have to try that with Dylan thanks for the advice.

Off to Mothers group soon.

[kmh]

hi all
well we hve had some really good nights Charlotte slept the longest on sat night 7 hours and then she did 6 hours last night, however she has been power chucking after her morning feeds, as she has been caughing.
We have needles tonight, i hope she was like Madison, she slept throught them. Also we have your appoiment with the pead today about Charlottes tounge tied.

Bubs- well done on your weight loss, i have lost 18kg's since having Charlotte, have stoped drinking soft drink is the biggest help. I bet you are happy with the eagles winning on sat.

Cassie- i don't blame you for waking out, there is so many people at the local council, we are going there tonight, i hope it works out fine for you when Dylan gets his neddles.

Em- you poor thing, like what bubs said you have to be blunt with her, just tell her that you don't want her coming over so much, maybe once a week.

Baizar- thats great that everything went well for you yesterday, Tim worked until 4pm and then we went out for dinner. Next year we are going to go away for the night, as Charlotte is too little to be left over night yet, Plus we are going to QLD in 6 weeks for a holiday.

[Bubseykel]

Em - you poor thing. Honestly - I think the only thing you can do is be blunt with her. Sit her down and tell her everything you just told us. Tell her that you need time for just you and Charlie to get yourselves together, that the key was for emergencies only and it's rude for her just to let herself in every single day. But tell her that you still want to go for your walks together. Sounds like everything you say goes in one ear and out the other so by telling her face to face the message might get through. Maybe try and set a time for your walks for the afternoons and sick to your guns for that time. If she rings you can always make up an excuse and say you are going out but really stay home (I do that with my MIL - hehehe!!). I think you just got to come out with it. My MIL is the most annoying person and usually hurts my feelings so I've decided to come out with whatever I think - especially when it involves me, Ken, Danielle or my weight - as it's my family/me and I'm sure I know my family/me better than she does. I know this may sound harsh but I think it's the only way to get through to people somtimes. Let us know how you go and what you decide to do about it. Hugs to you Em.

[Bubseykel]

Fee - I think it's one for the general forum. I have no idea!!

Dee - good to hear Adrian is going great guns!! One of my friends as Mother's Group is exclusively BF her boy and she got her AF at 7 weeks. I thought 10 weeks was bad without BF. I guess everyone is different. I hope you don't get your AF just yet.

Kel - yay for Charlotte!! You must be so happy!! Danielle had a power spew at 5am this morning. It went all over my shoulder, all over the recliner - luckily it's leather and I just wiped it up. Don't you just love them!! I hope her needles went OK.

Cassie - I was told my a few of the mother's at Mother's Group that they took their little ones for their needles at their doctors that don't Bulk Bill but because it's for immunisations that the doctor Bulk Billed them. You might just want to check that out to save yourselves some money.

I've woken up with massive heartburn this morning. I wonder what caused that. I wish it would go away. I was looking forward to Aqua Aerobics today but I'm in too much pain.
Danielle's being really weird again. She's sleeping more during the day, wanting to go to sleep at 6.30pm, waking up at all hours for a feed (this morning it was 5am - lately it has been 2-3am then 7am), very grizzly during and after feeding, mega chucks but during the morning she's really happy and enjoys playing. She seems to be taking the same amount of formula - sometimes more and sometimes less. Firstly I thought it was the teats in the bottles as they are for a 1 month old and she's almost 3 so I bought new ones but that hasn't helped. Now I'm thinking maybe I'm over-stimulating her. I was reading in a book last night they can get very grumpy if you over-stimulate them. Or maybe it's a growth spurt. Do they have one at 10weeks again? I know she was horrible with her last spurt at 5ish weeks. I want my angel back!!

Hopefully I feel OK to see the girls from Mother's Group this afternoon. Have a great day everyone.

[Fraser]

Hi chicklets,

well I'm a big fat loser - I couldn't say anything to her, she let herself in and banged her pram around so her excuse that she let herself in so as not to wake Charlie was moot - because her crashing and banging around would have woken him up anyway, he wasn't asleep I had him and was contemplating hiding in the laundry cupboard, but wasn't sure I could keep him quiet for long enough. She arrived at 12pm and left at 4.30pm - so not too bad this time. My brother is ultra sensitive (read bi polar) so I wouldn't want to upset him, he would get upset that I was potentially upset then he would get upset that I was angry at her and then he would get upset that Erin is doing what she's doing and he would feel guilty and it would be just a bigger mess. DH reckons if she lets herself in when he's at home he'll let her have it, which is a worry because she drives him a little crazy, but she's a little frightened of DH so I don't think she would let herself in if she knew he was here.

Dee - I get the impression that AF isn't far off either, I keep getting minor cramps and that 'feeling' but nothing eventuates, and my crankiness can be explained away by lack of sleep! so I'm not sure - I quite like not having it - I hope it stays away!

Kelly - I hope Charlottes needles went ok, I worked myself up into a bit of a state about them, but they're not that bad really are they!

Cassie - we went to our GP to get the needles done, it was good because we were allowed to stay as long as we wanted so I could feed Charlie to calm him I mean me down. Hope it all went ok.

Fee - I'm not sure what a roll over feed is - but if it's the one in the middle of the night, we're still doing it. Charlie feeds at about 10pm and then at about 2 or 3am and then again at about 6am - I am trying to lengthen them out but I'm not too sure how. Sometimes he misses the 10pm feed altogether and sleeps until 2am - I need to move that one out a bit so he sleeps from 10pm until 6am - but I really don't know how, our mothers group discussion today is sleep and settling so I might bring it up then

Bubs - I think there is a 10 week growth spurt or is it 12 - then again all babies are different. I wish Charlie would sleep a little during the day - but he just wont - he'll fall asleep on me but as soon a he hits that bed he's wide awake and shouting at me for putting him there! It's funny how quickly they grow in and out of phases though - I'll bet next week Danielle will be back to normal

better run the shouts are now hysterical crying....

EM

[kmh]

the neddles we not to bad, but today she was crying so mcuh and would not settle to i had to give her panadol, and last night she was restless, but with sleeping today she has been an angel, put her self to sleep this morning for 2 hours and now she is alseep in her swing. we went to see the pead yesterday and she will have to have her tounge cut, but they will put her to sleep when they do it, i am going to be a mess when they do it, however she ill only be alseep for about 15mins, and then will have to spend a few hours at the hospital afterwards to make sure she is feeding fine and there is no pain.

Dee- you poor thing with AF returning, how are you feeling?

Em- i would be the same, i am not a person that can confront people.

Fee- maybe try to do a roll over feed, i don't have that problem Charlotte last feed is about 8-8:30

well i must be off Charlotte has woken up, and needs a nappy change

[Fee]

Fee - I'm not sure what a roll over feed is

It's where you get your baby up for a feed before you go to bed. It's so hopefully they sleep through the night.

So for example, Cooper has his last feed at 6pm and goes to sleep. So I should then get him up around 10pm and feed him. Then I go to bed. That way he should go his 8 hours between feeds which brings you up to 6am.

Currently I just let him go - so he wakes then around 2am.

It's also called a "dream feed" because you can do it while the baby is still sleeping. They should just start to suckle.

[Fee]

Cooper slept through the night!!!

I fed him at 6.00 pm and he woke at 5.45 am – nearly 12 hours between feeds! I remember hearing him at 1.30 am (which is normally when he wants a feed) but then we both must have fallen asleep again. Next thing I know it's 4.30 am and I have just woken up wondering what's going on! Not to mention my boobs were killing me! I went in to check on Cooper and he was fine. But after that I couldn't sleep at all. I kept wondering when he would wake and every time he grunted etc I thought he was waking. He ended up staying asleep until 5.45 am. I am so impressed! I hope it's not a one-off!

He actually had a pretty good day yesterday and didn't give me too much trouble with his sleeps (unlike the day before that). I guess sleep really does promote sleep.

Bubseykel – I agree about it's better that they sleep more at night than the day. So I shouldn't complain as Cooper is good at night. It's much better that way I think.

kmh – Wow that was a restless night. I hope you had a better night last night.

chantal25 – No we haven't tried co-sleeping. Cooper sleeps in his cot. Although there have been times where we have had naps with Cooper in bed with us (mornings etc). But never over night.

baiza – Wow Bailee is a good night time sleeper. And glad to hear his check up went well. Sounds like he is doing fabulously.

Fraser – Glad to hear the rollover feed worked for you. It's weird… just yesterday I decided that I did not want to do the rollover feed. I just couldn't bring myself to wake Cooper. Anyway he ended up sleeping through the night totally! How strange!

Wow 7 kgs?! I wonder what Cooper is now. He was 5.8 kgs at his 8 week check. I get told Cooper is so big, but there are plenty of bigger boys in this group. LOL!!! Cooper has just graduated to the third size Huggies (Crawler).

[Dustmite]

Hi chicklets,

well I'm a big fat loser - I couldn't say anything to her, she let herself in and banged her pram around so her excuse that she let herself in so as not to wake Charlie was moot - because her crashing and banging around would have woken him up anyway, he wasn't asleep I had him and was contemplating hiding in the laundry cupboard, but wasn't sure I could keep him quiet for long enough. She arrived at 12pm and left at 4.30pm - so not too bad this time. My brother is ultra sensitive (read bi polar) so I wouldn't want to upset him, he would get upset that I was potentially upset then he would get upset that I was angry at her and then he would get upset that Erin is doing what she's doing and he would feel guilty and it would be just a bigger mess. DH reckons if she lets herself in when he's at home he'll let her have it, which is a worry because she drives him a little crazy, but she's a little frightened of DH so I don't think she would let herself in if she knew he was here.

if you have transportation, or if you can just get our during her usual showing up, perhaps once or twice a week just leave and get away just you and Charlie. One or two days aweek might be really good for the two of you and if you dont say nothing and get out before she shows up then it can give you a break

[Fee]

Well Cooper has not slept through again yet but he's doing well. Normally he will feed at 6.00 pm and wake around 1.30 am. But the last two nights he's woken at 3.30 am and 4.00 am. So pretty good.

Oh yeah a funny story for you ... On Friday night I found Cooper down in one corner of the cot with his legs sticking out through the end of the cot (through the bars)! Funny but a bit scary! I've often wondered about this because he's slipped down a little before - but never this bad. He managed to wriggel down because I didn't have any blankets/sheets over him. I put him to bed around 6.30 pm so I don't put the blanket over him until I go to bed.

And then when I got up to feed him at 3.00 am he had wriggled the opposite way (couldn't wriggle down as he was under the blanket). Anyway he was in the middle of the cot and the blanket only came up to his knees!

Next time I would buy a cot with a solid end!!!

Question for you all --- Do you do play time after the last feed for that day? Just curious. I don't. I put Cooper straight to bed. Does it really matter?

kmh – Good luck with shoes shopping for Madison.

Cassie – Cooper does about 1 poo per day lately – sometimes more. Apparently BF babies cannot get constipated and it can be normal to go up to 10 days or something with doing a poo. So I'm sure Dylan is fine.

Hope your boob is feeling better. Hopefully it's not mastitis – I had that and it was awful!

The pics of Dylan are cute – he looks very good at tummy time. Whenever I put Cooper on his tummy he just lies there and rarely lifts his head! I might try putting a rolled up towel under him, like you've done with Dylan.

Deejoy17 – I just can't believe that Adrian was 6 kgs at 4w6d! He looks very cute in your ticker pic.

Dustmite – Thanks for the belated birthday wishes. It was a great birthday!

[kmh]

hi all
well i got some new shoes for Madison we got them on sale which was great only paid $30 for them. On friday i got the implanon put into my arm for contraception, and now i have such a big bruse on my arm, and its starting to get itchy where my ob cut my arm to put it inot to.

Fee- sounds like cooper is starting to sleep longer over night, do you still go to bed at 8:30pm i have been the last few nights i have been so tired.

Dee- you has Matthew gone with his new brother, wow Adrian is going to be a big boy, charlotte weighed in at 4.435kg's at 8 weeks.

Cassie- i hope you don't get mastitis, i had it and it yuk, i felt so sick, just keep on doing what you are doing, as soon as you start to feel like you are getting a temp or achy go to your doctors.

bubs- hope this year the eagles win for you, i bet you are very happy.

Hope everyone is enjoying their weekends.

[Fee]

Fee- sounds like cooper is starting to sleep longer over night, do you still go to bed at 8:30pm i have been the last few nights i have been so tired.

Yeah I try to go to bed at this time.

Cooper still hasn't slept through again but close – about 10 hours between feeds. I fed him at 6.30 pm last night and again at 4.30 am.

[Bubseykel]

Em - I hope you can work things out. Maybe you can run into the backyard and hide is a shed or something. I honestly thing if you don't want her doing it you've just got to come out with it. Hey - maybe you should get a key for their place and do exactly the same thing!!! I tell ya if someone came banging and crashing into my house I would let them have it. I do with my friend's kids who absolutely destroy my house when they are here!!

Kel - when are they thinking about doing the op? I read somewhere that you should wait until they are at least a year old. Is that true? I bet you will be a mess when it happens. I was like that when they put Danielle in the 'Hot Box' for jaundice. At least you know everything will be fine afterwards.

Danielle's sitting in her bouncer beside me here but I've got to keep bouncing her with my foot otherwise she's going to cry. Spoke too soon - she's on my lap now. She's being a total horror!! I think she might have an upset tummy. She's being doing number 2's twice over the last 2 days which is not normal for her - she only goes once every 2 days - and it wasn't a normal poo (sorry!). I've also had an upset belly with the 'Runs' (sorry again!!) so I'm wondering if she's got it too and that's why she's so grizzly - I know I am! I can't eat anything!! We caught up with the girls from Mother's Group yesterday. They said and try and change our routine to see if we can get Danielle to 8pm like she used to so we bathed at 6.30pm instead of 5pm and I got her to 7.30pm but she still woke at 1.30am then at 6.45. I think this is what it's going to be for a while now.

We are off now. Not going to the gym today. We are going to take it easy at home. Have a great day everyone.

[Fraser]

who hoo!! he self settled!!! he's still asleep, touch wood, and I hope he stays that way!

went to my mothers group and the nurses who it run took Charlie off me right away and said 'oh my god you look terrrible' - so I guess the makeup I put on before going was a waste of time! But is was really good, I'm glad I went, got heaps of good tips about settling and sleeping and it seems I am letting him get way too tired before putting him to bed.

One question though - you're supposed to feed them then let them play for a little bit and then put them to bed when they show signs of tiredness, so they go into a deep sleep but then go into a light sleep and can sometimes wake up in the light sleep bit - If they wont go back to the deep sleep are you supposed to get them up or just leave them there? I know that all sounds a bit too clinical - but I'm just not sure what to do with him if we wont settle in bed - I imagine that if you keep getting him up then he'll just get tired and confused. like me...

Fee - Cooper sounds like Charlie, he does that too - perhaps I will try this rollover feed thingo and see if he will sleep through the night. At the moment he definitley has a 7 to 8 hour sleep but you just can't predict when it will be

Bubs - it's hard when bubbies have a tummy ache - try using Brauers Colic relief because that also helps settle baby tummies and maybe that will be enough to stop her grizzling. Poor litle poppet

Kelly - I will have to read back through your posts - but that sounds a bit tough - I don't think I would be able to handle that either. But at least you know it's for her own good and she will be happier afterwards, it's like I don't know how people can pierce their childrens ears, it was really painful when I got it done at age 16 - I can't imgaine how painful it would be for a baby and how you would cope with it (no offence to anyone who pierces their childrens ears - I just don't think I could cope with the pain side of it)

oh cr*p he's awake - ok so I'll just leave him be for a bit and see if he goes back off to sleep or not..... waiting waiting waiting....


Em

[Bubseykel]

Em - I'll explain what I do and did with Danielle. Before she used to have a feed at 7pm ish and she would sit with me for a while to let it go down and then I would put her to bed awake and let her settle herself. With regards to crying - she has two sorts of crying - one sounds just like 'raagghh' and if she only does one every now and then - I would leave her incase she's doing it in her sleep but if I hear the 'raaaaaaaagggggghhhhhhh sob sob raaaaaagggggghhhhhhhh' I know she's awake and then go and get her. Now she falls asleep on me straight after her 7pm feed and I put her straight to bed but I still listen to her crying before I get out of bed in the middle of the night as she's done a few 'raagghh's and gone back to sleep. I usually let her cry for a few minutes before I go in though to see what she will do. Does that make sense??

[Fraser]

Hey Bubs - yep that makes sense - it so tricky though isn't it - I am used to his crying now and sometimes I have blocked it out so effectively I don't notice that he is hysterical - it makes me feel so bad when I realise he's really screaming the house down and I've been leafing through a magazine, drinking coffee and intermittantly gazing out the window.... what a terrible mum!

his attention cry is so loud too, I sort of start to feel sorry for the neighbours after a while!!

How long do you leave the attention seeking cries before you go and see what she's up to?

[Bubseykel]

Em - I usually wait for about 5 minutes give or take. I have read bits about the controlled crying technique and that's what they say but if she becomes too histerical I go in earlier. I too let her cry at times like if I need to put the dishwasher on or doing something quite quickly. I don't think you are a terrible mum - you just got to do what you got to do!!

I just got a call from the car yard - my car will be ready on Friday!! YAY!!!