Hi chicklets,

well I'm a big fat loser - I couldn't say anything to her, she let herself in and banged her pram around so her excuse that she let herself in so as not to wake Charlie was moot - because her crashing and banging around would have woken him up anyway, he wasn't asleep I had him and was contemplating hiding in the laundry cupboard, but wasn't sure I could keep him quiet for long enough. She arrived at 12pm and left at 4.30pm - so not too bad this time. My brother is ultra sensitive (read bi polar) so I wouldn't want to upset him, he would get upset that I was potentially upset then he would get upset that I was angry at her and then he would get upset that Erin is doing what she's doing and he would feel guilty and it would be just a bigger mess. DH reckons if she lets herself in when he's at home he'll let her have it, which is a worry because she drives him a little crazy, but she's a little frightened of DH so I don't think she would let herself in if she knew he was here.
if you have transportation, or if you can just get our during her usual showing up, perhaps once or twice a week just leave and get away just you and Charlie. One or two days aweek might be really good for the two of you and if you dont say nothing and get out before she shows up then it can give you a break