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Hi all!
It's been a while since my last post but it seems I'm no longer getting the email notifications (?) Here I was thinking you were all on holidays :-) So I spent an hr writing an update and my internet went down....arrgghh! So it's taken me a couple of days to work up the energy to re-write it :-)
Gracie is doing well. She started on solids at about 6.5months and is going pretty well with them. She's definitely a fruit not vege girl like her mum :-) I've had to come up with some pretty creative ways of getting her to take her vegies...cheeky little thing. Rice cereal and banana constipated her so I've elimated them and replaced rice cereal with brown rice pureed. This goes well with fruit for brekkie. Prune juice from boiling prunes also helped with her constipation.
She's commando crawling ATM and so I'm discovering the world of having to move things out of reach! She finally learnt how to roll from her tummy back onto her back about 4 weeks ago and now does it with ease. She's also really into books now which is great because we read one before her sleep time.
Anyway...MummaPig...I'm going to give you a detailed answer to your questions about sleeping :-) You probably didn't want it but I don't want to miss anything that could potentially be helpful to you :-)
Gracie is a good sleeper - she probably does around 15hrs in 24. She does about 3hrs in the day and 11-12 at night. She doesn't have a feed at all at night anymore. I cut her dream feed when I introduced solids. From when she was born I've done a stack of reading about sleeping. I was determined to develop good habits early. So I've read all about the different methods, styles, theories etc From Ferber to Sears to Pinky Mackay and all the various Baby Whisperers. I also went to 2 Day Stays to see how they taught mums to settle their bubs. I've tried to find the common threads and picked the things I think are important. So here goes...
The common thread amongst all the authors (or most of them) is the concept of self-settling. I'm sure you're well familiar with this! Making sure you put your baby down awake and allowing them to fall asleep without your help, or the help of something like a bottle/feed, rocking, dummy etc. This is probably the single most important thing I've done. It's not been easy at times! Last week it took her 1.5hrs to settle for one of her day sleeps! I don't subscribe to CC in it's purest form - however I have allowed Gracie to cry if I've felt it's more a behavioural cry as opposed to an emotional cry. I know her behavioural cry because she stops crying when I go into her room and starts up again when I leave. If she gets really worked up in the settling process, I go in and reassure her with key words, singing, "shhing" etc If she wakes in the night, I leave her for up to 10mins to see if she will re-settle. If she doesn't I go in and check her. Normally she only night wakes if she's too hot or cold so it makes it fairly easy to work out the problem. She can take anywhere from 40mins-1.5hrs to resettle if she night wakes with me going in every now and then to reassure her.
It sounds like you're doing a similar thing with Freja which is great. My only suggestion might be to try and not get her up if she only does 30min sleeps. Gracie will often cat-nap and it usually takes up to 15mins for her to re-settle but she'll then do another sleep cycle (40mins). If she doesn't resettle I get her up after 20mins and pop her to bed earlier the next time. I think our LOs are at an age where they can start to work out if they do certain things, mum will come. But you're the best judge of this :-) I just try to be consistent in how I settle / re-settle, day and night (it can be hard at night!).
If you're working on dropping a night feed, then you need to just be patient and persist in settling without feeding. I know it's hard! My SIL recently went from feeding her 16mo 4 times in the night to no night feeding. It took 1 night of on-and-off crying for 2 hrs with her going in a various points to reassure, and he hasn't woken for it since! Now not all bubs are that easy to convert, but I think as parents we're often more frightened of the change than they are :-)
The best person I can recommend for sleeping is Sheyne Rowley - The Australian Baby Whisperer. She has a book coming out beg of March. She has a very good, holistic approach to managing babies. She looks at 5 key areas including environment, communication, routine, independence and managing change. Anyway, I could say heaps about how she's helped me but go on her website and check it out. I found listening to her radio interviews (media section) very helpful in practical strategies and tips. I can't say enough good things about her!!!
In answering your question about whether Gracie goes through NW phases - yes! Recently she went through an early waking phase (between 5am & 5.40am). I installed dark shades and that seems to have cured it. If she wakes at various stages throughout the night I can pretty much pinpoint now the reason. For example, 40mins after she first settles is usually because she's either hot or over-tired. Between 10&11pm, around 2am, and 5-6am are sleep cycle windows (enters light sleep). If she wakes at these times it's usually a few minutes of crying and then she re-settles on her own. If Freya can't self-settle at these times, it's usually an association problem such as needing a feed to go back to sleep for example. These are the times you need extra patience in attempting to settle without whatever the aid is. Eventually she won't wake anymore as she's taught herself to re-settle. Waking around midnight is usually a hunger issue and so I try and look at Gracie's daily intake and include more protein for example. Anyway, there's stacks more to say here but I think I've raved on enough.
What you need to know the most is that you're doing an amazing job!! Good parents only do what they think is best for their bub. Sometimes it can lead to hard habits but that's not from lack of love (usually the opposite) :-) I hope you can get something out of Sheyne's website. Out of all the books I've read, I rate her the highest!!! But I'm only telling you what's worked for me and Gracie. I don't want to come across as 'this is the only way!!' Sometimes it takes one person to say something that makes sense to you...if I'm that person then great, if not, then that's ok too!!! :-)
Anyway, happy Australia Day everyone :-) Hope it's a relaxing day for all...
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Hi all how is everyone???
I worked out it was the farax constipating Taj!!
He is loving soilds and started on meat now!!!
I have also just made the switch to cloth nappies and are loving it!! They are so cute! They feel devine to touch so I'm sure his bottom is loving it!!!
Just a quick one as I have to get Dinner organised....Hope those of you in Vic are handling the heat ok cos I know I'm over it!!!!
Xoxoxoxox
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Hello!
Maya was born on June 6th, she'll be 8 months soon! :> I was wondering if I could join this thread so I can learn from other mums who are in the same stage as I am
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Welcome! The more the merrier...looking forward to sharing stuff with you!
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Welcome Fledgeling,
Join us all on our unknown journey thru parenthood......Ask ask away.....
We love hearing new stories and appreciate the new advice!!!!!
xoxoxxoxoooxxx
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Wow Amy! That was great
I wish I had been as prepared as you. I only started to read books about parenting techniques etc when she was 5 months old - by which point I'd already accidentally parented her to bits... ah well, at least I got lots of extra hugs out of it!
11-12 at night?! You lucky thing! I can't believe she does it without night feeds too - you're right, Grace is a good sleeper!
I'm impressed that you seem to have worked out what's wrong at each stage of Grace's night wakings - I hope I manage to get the hang of that with Freyja.
I think Freyja was only managing 8 hours overnight until recently, because she would take ages to go to sleep, then wake erratically because she was hungry and then be grumpy in the morning (development point - no matter how well / badly she slept during the day, night time was bad!). The grumpy period was over come last Monday, so we got her routine back on track and she's been napping well, but still waking at night. On Friday everything suddenly changed and she napped well then slept through! Woke a few times Saturday night, but self settled quickly, bumped her head Sunday night and last night (she's longer than the cot is wide and keeps jamming herself!) and woke up at 4.30ish, but on Sunday she resettled easily. This morning I didn't notice she was pretty wet, so it took until 6am to resettle her
We seem to have had a few changes coincide. She went through a development point so we've had two weeks of bad sleep at night, but she has gone from saying 'p, p, p... t, t, t....b, b, b...' all day long to saying 'mama' and 'bow mow wow wow'. I asked her last night if she wanted blueberry and banana, or mango and banana and she went 'bananananaaaaaa'! Also, she is now rolling properly everywhere and commando crawling (backwards!), so is a lot more active.
Plus, the extra hot weather and our lack of aircon meant it was between 38c and 42c IN THE HOUSE all last week, so we were giving her lots of water between meals in her sippy cup. She likes to drink from that because it flows easily (I've had letdown problems since she was 4 months - we were both ill), so I think she's just made the decision to have a big girl cup now. I've decided to wean her properly, so she's had ebm in her cup/bottle, moving slowly to formula as my milk reduces (and my nipples get wrecked - no idea how you've done it so long Leesha!).
Freyja has also started to feed herself, so we give her some finger foods first, then her solids (to make sure she doesn't starve!) and then her milk. Oh, and we'd started potty training her a month ago, before she hit her last grumpy patch, so now she has started to go pee pee or poo in her potty (albeit inconsistently!).
I still haven't read any Ferber or Sears stuff, but Pinky McKay is great and I also just read a few books about bf, Jo Frost's Confident Baby Care (SuperNanny!), The Wonder Weeks, The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems and am about to read Sleep Right, Sleep Tight, which is the Tweddle Child & Family Health Services one. Thanks for the tip on Sheyne Rowley, will definitely have a look through her website and get her book.
You're right that the main area of consistency between everyone is to teach your child to self-settle and it's been interesting reading about the different methods suggested. We've pretty much adopted the 'pick up/put down' method, but only because we were doing it anyway before I'd even realised it was a suggested tactic! I find it works fairly well for Freyja, but if she's overtired then she's fairly resistant so sometimes it takes much longer than others. Her main thing when she is like this is to insist that you stay with her with your hand on her shoulder (she would prefer to grasp your hand and hold it across her eyes, but them you've got to try and escape without waking her!), but just as she's about to fall asleep to turn over and complain. You end up having to sit with her for a long time, as she will push away and wriggle if you try pu/pd.
The other thing that I like is the advice to respect your child as an individual and to tell them what you're doing, rather than just doing it. Freyja responds well to this. I also never grab anything off of her or take anything from her without asking for it first and explaining why I want it or why she can't have it. Last night she had one of her daddy's stereo cables that he'd left laying and he grabbed it off of her - poor Freyja was startled and cried a little, with her daddy apologising profusely. I also give her choices on things like which of her coloured spoons she wants to use, which of her smocks she would like, what out of a couple of items of clothing would she prefer etc and allow her to do things for herself, like feeding herself (messy!), brushing her teeth (pretty ineffective), wiping her face after eating (ditto) and mine (ie she smacks me in the face with the cloth).
I've rambled on again I know, but now I have some questions for you seeing as you are now my unofficial sleep guru!
How did you drop the dream feed and how much solids was Grace having? How much of everything (milk and solids) do you give her every day (there's so much info on this and I'm finding it a little confusing!)? What time do you normally put her down at and does she settle quickly? During nap times, if she wakes and is calm do you go to her and try to encourage her back to sleep or leave her? That one gets me - I never know whether it's worth it to leave her and see if she'll go back to sleep or not when she's only got a short while to go!
In fact, question for everyone: would you all mind sharing your 'routines' here if I go first? I'm interested in seeing how similar or how different they are.
6.45 Mummy gets up and gets brekkie ready
7.00 Wake up, potty, finger foods (fruit & toast), porridge, milk (takes around 45 mins total!)
7.45 Potty (if she looks like she needs it) or plays (15 mins) then potty, gets dressed, quiet time with mummy (folding clothes or reading a book)
8.30 Brush teeth, check/change nappy, into cot where she might play or go straight to sleep
11.00 Wake up, potty, snack (milk)
11.15 Play time / go for a walk into town
12.00 Lunch (cheese/breadsticks/egg yolk/meat/veggie pieces then a veg & fruit puree)
12.30 Play time/shopping, check/change nappy
13.00 Nap time (might not nap if in her buggy)
15.00 Wake up, potty (nappy check/change if out), snack (milk & often something yummy in her self-feeder)
15.15 Play time / walk home from town
16.00 Shower/bath/play with daddy
17.00 Cat nap for one sleep cycle
18.00 Wake up, potty, dinner (meat/pasta with veg then a dessert, usually given by daddy whilst mummy makes dinner)
18.30 Quiet playtime (ie a couple of non-noisy toys!)
19.00 Milk, wash, brush teeth, nappy changed, PJs on, story, bed (timing all depends on her tired signs, but ALWAYS in bed by 8pm)
- Nappy is checked/changed at potty time and before naps/bed
- Finger foods are a few smalls chunks / sticks (say 8 bits in total)
- Main meals are approx 3-4 dessert spoons, except dinner which has additional 2-3 of dessert (may be offered at other meals if seems hungry)
- Milk is 200mls, but rarely drinks more than 120-150mls
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Hey Leesha - glad Taj is loving his solids and that it was just the Farax. Stupid stuff is the culprit almost every time I think! I wanted to switch to cloth nappies too (bum genius), but we can't spare the initial outlay at the moment due to having to send money to the UK to cover the mortgage as well as pay rent here. Pity though because we did buy one to try it and they're great - so much better at keeping the wetness away from their skin and no nasty chemicals. Plus you're right, they do look cute!
As for the heat, we have no aircon...
Hi Fledgling!!! Welcome to the thread - hope you find it as helpful as I have!
PS Amy - the other thing that all the writers agree on is consistency. Unfortunately, that's easier to say than be!
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Wow MummyPig..potty training already!!! That's impressive!!!
I am nearly at the end of my expressing days..It's sad but time to stop and get back a bit of normal life...I am slowly switching him over to formula and so far so good!!! He is being given 200ml bottles but only drinks 100-150ml. We are a bit behind everyone else with the solids as we only started about a month ago..
Routine is usually this:
0700 awake, bottle, breakfast and change nappy
Playtime and read stories
0930 Morning Sleep which can be usually 1-2 hours
1130 Bottle, change nappy and play or go for a walk
1230 Lunch and more playing and fruit snacks or rusk
1400 Afternoon sleep which again can be 1-2 hours
1600 Take the dog for a walk with daddy
1700 Dinner
1730 Bathtime
1800-1830 Bottle and then playtime or straight to bed (if tired) or in bed by 7pm if not grumpy
He is having lots of water and fruit snacks throughout the day (watermelon, grapes, apple)
He is having nights where he sleeps right thru but then he can sometimes wake around 2am for a small bottle and nappy change and goes straight back to bed..I never know what he will do.....
Last night he was asleep by 8.30(took a few times to settle him) then he slept till 8 am this morning...wowwww i was in shock!! Yet tonight could be completley different!!!
I need some suggestions on what to give him for lunch? I run out of ideas.
He had his first lamb chop last night and loved it!! Tonight will be spaghetti bog I think!!!
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Hi Kerry! It's great to hear from you. Freja seems to be doing so well!! I can't believe you're potty training - that's fantastic. You'll be able to share all your tips with us when the time comes :-) Does this mean she doesn't wear nappies or am I totally misunderstanding you?? Wow - you're great
I hear you about the expressing thing. Gracie has decided in the last week to refuse all feeds from me (bar the first feed of the day because my milk is good). My let-down is so slow that I'm expressing all her feeds ATM. She would just pull off and get frustrated so this is how it is for now :-( I'm holding on to BF...not sure why...hard to explain the strange attachment that's formed isn't it?! Anyway, I'm hoping I don't lose my milk completely.
Sleeping is such a hard topic! I hope I didn't come across like Gracie is the perfect angel. Let me assure you she has her 'trying' days! Yesterday she had 3 x 40min sleeps...she keeps waking with a poo and won't re-settle. She's also teething and I'm not so sure how that's affecting her ATM. She's started commando crawling and just this week is pretty much up on her knees. They say that when they learn a new skill it often affects their sleep.
Anyway, I hope I can answer your questions.
Something I noticed with your post (and I may be wrong here)...IS Freja often waking up from thrashing around in the cot? I only ask because I recently solved this problem with a Safe T Sleep. Have you heard of these? It's basically a velcro band that goes around their waist to keep them in one position in the cot. I was finding Gracie couldn't handle the new-found freedom when I weaned the wrap and was taking ages to settle and then waking from the thrashing around. Anyway, check out their website if you're interested. Does she sleep in a Grobag? If she's a thrasher, she may be kicking off her covers and getting cold (not in this weather I know!!!) But maybe something to think about for winter.
The other thing you mentioned was her insisting on staying with you (hand on shoulder). I know it's hard but I think she would really benefit from learning to go to sleep by herself. She WILL definitely protest when you try this but just keep going in and reassuring her. Go in and reassure her as often as you're comfortable with. But the going to sleep on her own thing is a big skill and when they learn it, it's a major breakthrough to the whole 'sleeping through' etc because when they naturally rouse in the night, they don't need you to help them back to sleep.
Sounds like you've got the communication thing down pat! Sheyne Rowley has quite alot of good info on this subject on her website. I'm really looking forward to her book!
With dropping the dreamfeed, we just went cold turkey after we introduced solids for 3 weeks. I think she was probably really ready so it was pretty smooth. Gracie will have around 700-800mls per day and 3-4cubes of fruit with brown rice cereal for b'fast, 3-4cubes of vegies/savoury for lunch plus 3-4cubes of fruit and about 4 cubes of savoury for dinner, sometimes I offer a bit of fruit as well. I would say she's a std eater. She's on track with her weight so she's not a big girl.
Your routine looks good to me! I'm not hugely consistent with routines. Mainly because I'm not a morning person and depending on when she first wakes, dictates the rest of the day. I'll give you the current 2 patterns.
6.30am/7am - wake and milk (doesn't return to sleep)
8am - solids
8.30am - top up milk, then playtime in her room before bed
9am to 10.30am - sleep
11.30am/12pm - solids
12.30pm - milk, then playtime in her room before bed
1pm to 2.30pm - sleep
3.30pm/4pm - milk
4.15pm - sometimes she will take this nap, sometimes not (I only give her 40mins MAX)
5.30pm - solids
6pm - bath
6.15pm/6.30pm - milk, book (in room), bed by 7pm
OR
6.15am-6.30am - wake and milk, return to sleep, usually 'til around 8.30am
8.30am/8.45am - solids
9.30am - top up milk, the play in her room
10am to 11.30am - sleep
12.30pm - solids
1.30pm - milk
2pm to 3.30pm - sleep
Then the rest is the same as above except not arvo nap
So as you can see, I'm not particularly anal about routine (although I probably should be but I like a sleep in :-)
When Gracie goes to sleep I make sure she knows in advance it's nearly sleep time. Then we read a book in her room, she goes into her Grobag and Safe T Sleep and I give her her comforter. I've found that if she's had too much awake time, she takes a long time to settle and then cuts her sleep short. Her max awake time ATM seems to be 2.5hrs, any longer and I've missed the boat. If she's not over-tired, she'll settle in about 10mins - chats then goes quiet.
If she cuts her sleep short, I usually wait 15mins and then just get her up. Even though she hasn't had enough, it's been enough just to take the edge off and these days she doesn't re-settle (she used to). Then I give her less awake time and pop her to bed earlier. I've learnt not to stress about her day sleeps anymore - as long as her night are good! The past week her day sleeps have been pretty ordinary, but good nights so I can't complain.
With night waking, it's usually because she's too hot or cold. I just go in when her cries get emotional, otherwise I let her protest 'til she re-settles. The longest she's taken to resettle at night is 1.5hrs. I've noticed any waking before say midnight, she re-settles within 10mins max (maybe because she hasn't had a big chunk of sleep yet). The 1.5hrs was when she woke once around 4.30am. So she'd already slept for quite a long time so it was harder for her to re-settle. I don't subscribe to CC but I do let her protest if it's behavioural i.e. when I leave the room she starts up...that sort of thing.
Anyway, I hope I've answered your questions. You seem to really be onto it - there's always a new challenge and we can never totally predict their behaviour or patterns. I think I just try and maintain consistency through it all. I don't really know what else to do
All the best! Love hearing from everyone about routines...I think I need to get this together a bit more
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Sorry I just re-read the potty training bit and I see that you're still using nappies
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Hey where has mirandabelle gone? She hasn't been around here for awhile!! hope she is ok....
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Miranda hasn't posted in here since the 7th Jan. I don't think Zeke's surgery was due until Feb/Mar time, but he did have some tests coming up. I'm sure she's just run ragged chasing after his commando crawling!
It's interesting to see that Freyja, Taj and Grace all wake roughly at the same time and have their naps at the same time too. You guys don't seem to offer any more food than I do, so I guess I'm just bad at working on getting her to sleep through. It's never really mattered that she doesn't, but it would be nice!!
Leesha - I feel really sad about not bf anymore too, but I'm ready to stop now. I couldn't go through the persuading Freyja to latch on thing yet again and because we want to try for another baby, now is the time to switch her to formula. Besides, they've both had a good 8 months of booby so better than a lot of bubs and you're boobs must be desperate for a break!
Sounds like Taj is hungry occasionally and that's why his nighttime wakings are erratic. Or perhaps he's at an awake stage and hears something outside or whatever. Try doing what Amy does when Grace wakes at the time and increasing the protein in his diet to see if it makes a difference.
As for lunch ideas - I've loads but won't write too much (yeah right!). Try things like tapioca or rice pudding for filling milky goodness. You can add some fruit to them too. Or for veggie ideas, try combining a veg with a fruit (avocado & banana, avocado & pear [avocado or banana will need to be pureed with a little citrus juice if you want to make a batch to freeze. Pear can be steamed in the microwave for 4 mins], butternut squash & pear, butternut squash & red pepper, red pepper & sweet potato, sweet potato & mango [steam the squash, red pepper or sweet potato in the microwave for 6 mins]) or simple veggie things (pea & carrot, sweet potato, leek & pea). How about making a lentil puree?
Oh, if you haven't tried fish yet, it makes a good lunch food. You can give the babies tinned tuna or salmon, just check that they're only in spring water and not with chilli or something else! Salmon mixed with some philly and red pepper or sweet potato works well, the tuna with a little yoghurt and sweet corn.
The fish things make good dips for them to stick their breadsticks/rusks in when you first try finger foods. Or try tiny fingers of carrot, red pepper, sweet potato etc steamed, or peas, skinned and chopped pieces of grape or other fruits, small cubes of cheese or chicken.
Hope that helped you with some ideas. Let me know if you need any baby friendly recipes
Amy - it's so easy to get attached to bf because we're meant too - all those hormones! It's one of the reasons why I've never minded feeding Freyja overnight - holding my sleepy baby in my arms whilst everything is quiet around me is wonderful.
How do you find managing to express with a slow let down? I get wound up and then it makes it worse!
I guess I wasn't clear enough about what I do with her (sorry!). Basically I put her down to bed after her routine (milk, wash, teeth, nappy, PJs, story) and leave her too it. She's had the ame routine since she was a few weeks old - bar the teeth which we added in November! She may babble away to her Iggle Piggle for a while before she goes to sleep, or if she wakes up, but on most nights is asleep within 20 mins. If she protests I leave her unless her level of crying escalates because I know that it can then take hours to get her to sleep. At first I will just nip in and out checking on her (did this for 3 hours one night last week) to give her reassurance, but if this doesn't work and she gets worse I will try to calm her in her cot with my hand on her shoulder.
If she's really worked up this won't work though and I need to do the pu/pd thing (pick her up and the minute she is calm put her back down again. If she cries on the way back down, tough, she still goes back in the cot, but then I pick her right back up again. Often she will struggle and want back in her cot, so I put her in and try settling in her cot again... before I give up and go have a glass of wine!).
From what I've read about self settling, you need to teach your baby how to do this by providing them with reassurance when they're upset so that they can learn it's okay and relax, enabling them to go to sleep themselves. This is what the pu/pd thing is supposed to do and it does work with Freyja, except on the odd occassion where I've let her get too worked up and overtired. The Baby Whisperer etc say never to leave your baby to cry - they mean a proper cry, not one of those 'uh...uh.... (pause to listen for someone coming)...uh uh....' ones that Freyja often does before settling :rollseyes:
Thing is, from what I've read you're meant to stay with the baby whilst you're learning them how to go to sleep. Initially with physical contact, then in the room where they can see you, then a bit further away where you're not in their line of vision. My problem is that I'm generally so desperate for time to relax or spend with my hubby, that I don't want to stay there and do the 'Mary Poppins' thing for hours instead of just commiting 30 mins or so to helping her.
It's not so much that she wakes from thrashing around, it's just that she's very active and likes to explore her cot when she is awake. It's good because she can entertain herself and find her own dummy, but bad in that she wedges herself in places! Not sure the safetsleep would help now, but I wish I'd known about it when she first started rolling onto her tum!
Our routine is just a simple wake, eat, play, sleep format, but I try to stick roughly to the timings of things during the week because I've learnt when to expect Freyja to want specific things. I just adjust timings of things through the day like you do if we go off, unless Freyja is in a grumpy period in which case we go way off! It all goes to pot at the weekend when daddy's home
As for the potty training, we started her as soon as she was able to sit up on her own. She's not old enough to control her bowels and won't be until she's around 12 months old, but she is old enough to learn why we use the toilet/potty and how we do it. It's more about creating associations than training her. I started by taking her to the loo with me when I went and letting her sit on the bedroom floor and watch me, telling her what mummy was doing 'mummy's having a pee, psssss' that type of thing! Sad I know, but she got it. Then we started putting her on her potty after feeds when we could see she was going to poo, holding her little hands and copying her poo faces and noises whilst squeezing her hands to show her what to do.
Now we're learning to associate the potty with peeing as well, so when she wakes up and after her meals or drinks (straight away if she makes a poo face, after 10 mins if she doesn't) we go to the loo together. Freyja goes on her potty and I go on the 'big girl potty' and we pee together! Then we get wiped, flush everything down the loo (Freyja likes pressing the handle) then we wash our hands.
It's working really, really well and beats having to change toddler poo nappies!!
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Wow - you're amazing with your potty training!!! You'll be streaks ahead when the time comes for her to fully train. Awesome.
You sound like you're doing everything you can for Freja to learn how to sleep by herself. That's fantastic. What else can you do really!? I know what you mean about resorting to things to just get time to yourself. I can tell you know, I'm not perfect in this department either. Sometimes it's more about me than her. You do what you have to do to get them to settle, even if it means breaking the 'rules'.
Sometimes I get sick of all the 'do's' and 'don'ts', all the opinions and theories. In the end, I've decided to choose a way and stick to it. A while ago I kept reading stuff and felt confused so I had to make the call just to stick to one way. I've tried to weed out all the junk and focus on the key things and not beat myself up about it if things don't go to plan.
I was following Tizzie's Halls routines for a while but was finding I was more stressed on them! I tend to believe that all babies are individuals - some with more sleep req and some with less for example. So now I just apply the principles I think are good, and let the rest of it be.
Anyway, you sound completely devoted to Freja and that's what really matters in the end. Thanks for sharing your bits n pieces!!! I love knowing what others are up too:-)
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You're completely right Amy - all babies are individuals with different needs and thats why I'm so interested in hearing what other babies do. I don't think there is a one size fits all method of child care, which is why I started to read everything I could. I've basically done the same as you and took the bits I liked and thought would work for us and ignored the rest!
I find it funny when mums say, why isn't my baby doing this when whatsherface's is - and it's 3 weeks younger!... mental development is based around the nervous system so works on an approximate timeline from conception, not birth, so talking etc can happen at different stages and physical development is based on a baby not only having the right level of mental development, but also all their limbs, muscles etc being the exactly right proportions... as babies are naturally going to be of different sizes and have different growth patterns, it's almost impossible to compare them!
There was a baby girl in the mothers group I went to for a couple of weeks, who was younger than Freyja and at 4 months was rolling and commando crawling everywhere. She crawled at 5 months. Freyja's almost 4 months older now and has only started the rolling!
Registered User
Wow I had no idea about all that development stuff! How interesting. Where did you get all that info? I'd love to read more about development (mental, physical, emotional etc)
You're right about stressing out about them reaching particular milestones. That's why I've never really loved going to Mother's Group! Sometimes it feels like one big competition about who's baby's doing what. Sometimes you end up feeling inadequate as a mother
Thanks again for sharing...
Registered User
It's a scientific fact
We tend to think of development being from birth and yes, certain aspects of development can be influenced by our experiences and environment (eg a baby can be at the stage where they are able to process language, but if they've been rarely exposed to it then they still won't be able to talk), so most people don't realise it is more than that.
My best friend was carrying twin girls and was 2 weeks less pregnant than me. Her babies were delivered by c-section at 37 weeks, when I was 39 weeks pregnant, and Freyja was a week late. Even though they are by birth older than Freyja by a whole month, developmentally they are still 2 weeks younger than her. It shows in that Freyja hits mental and emotional milestones before they do (the ability to reach for things, smile, laugh, understand words, babble etc), but she doesn't necessarily hit physical ones first (they cut teeth before Freyja and were able to roll before her, although she can sit, stand and take steps but they can't). She may have the mental capacity to understand and know how to crawl or roll etc, but she's smaller and has shorter limbs so physically can't.
Watching the 3 girls over the first few months and seeing how they developed at different rates is what got me so fascinated (some may say obsessed!) with comparing how individual babies are.
The best book to read (as in one that's designed for parents rather than academics!), is The Wonder Weeks. You've probably heard people going on about it on BellyBelly because it was difficult to get hold of, but it was republished in 2008 so is now readily available.
If you go to thewonderweeks website (google it) there's a good preview of the contents, as well as links to some other stuff you might find interesting. It obviously doesn't go into too much detail because they want you to buy the book, but I can send you a summary of the development points for 8 months on if you are interested?
Now, it's potty time!
Registered User
Wow - you've certainly done some reading by the looks of it!It's interesting about the mental and emotional being dicatated by age, but physical not necessarily. Makes sense now that I think about Grace compared to my friend's bubs.
I'd love any info you have - my email address is amy.hunziker@bigpond.com
I'll certainly look into the Wonder Weeks - sounds great! The collection is growing
Thanks again!
Registered User
No problem Amy - will drop you an email later on today once I've done my housework!
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