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Thread: Babies Born June 2006 #29

  1. #109

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    THere is no way of me getting back to Perth in the near future. I just dont have any money. With the money from Centrelink (which wont come in for a month at least apparently) And child support, i will be able to JUST afford the place im living in (and finding another place is damn near impossible, we were lucky to get this one) and then bills, car loan (only $70pf luckily) and food and bits and pieces... ill be lucky to have anything left! Let alone enough to save up a few thousand dollars to move me and the kids back... 'm getting used to the idea now that i wont be going back. Im waiting to gt my cast off then going for my interview with the RAAF. Ryan will take the kids for my training (at least he has family support here) and i will be able to get some decent earning capacity when im out, AND get posted to Perth free of charge. And then i will be able to live comfortably, and buy a house and do all the things i want. Living on the pension, my kid swill have nothing.


  2. #110

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    Bath - don't be silly, no offence taken at all. I am always worried about the education side of things and where we would like the girls to go to school. I don't think private education in an option but Chelsea will go to a Catholic primary school which is where she goes to kinder. I would really like her to learn about religion as I never had the opportunity too (my parents were a bit anti religion and didn't let me participate in religious education at school - silly, I know). She will hopefully then go to a Catholic secondary school. We have been putting money into an account for Chelsea since she was born and will need to get started on Marleys. Once I go back to work, I will have more to contribute (and if I stop spending on silly things). I am glad you bought it up as I will start thinking more seriously about it know. Meeting Verity last week and seeing what a lovely sensible girl she is shows how important a good education is. BTW the felafel balls sound yummy, might have to head to coles and look for them.

    Nic - great news at the paed appointment, he is a very happy, healthy boy. Happy 9 months to Nixon!

    Simone - I have the same response as the others - what right has he to tell you how clean your house must be. Tell him if he can't support you and at least be polite, then don't bother coming over!! Sorry to sound so harsh, but it seems like he enjoys p!ssing you off and getting you upset. I can understand why you want to keep things normal for the kids, but what he is saying and doing is not normal and they shouldn't be part of that. Tell him he can see them at a time you both decide. If he is not happy with that, then bad luck. Stop letting him rule your life - and as for cooking dinner for him STOP DOING IT!!! He is big enough to fend for himself and as you said, he has family to support him. Maybe go to Centrelink and see if they can fasttrack your payments, you are officially separated so they should start paying you now. Can you get out of your lease early? You should try to decide a date to get back and do whatever you can to make it happen - sell what you can. Only you can make this happen and start a better life for you and the kids. You need to be with family. I don't mean to sound horrible but I hate hearing how bad he makes you feel.

    Rory - poor little Flynn! If he was lactose intolerant, wouldn't he have runny poos? Don't know much about lactose intolerance but I thought it would make him throw up or have the runs. Was there anything else different about his diet? Pears usually do the trick. Have fun reading your 100 page agenda!

    Just been chatting to my best friend in Brisbane (she is coming to Noosa with us) for the past 2 hours!!!! Its only 6 weeks until we leave and I am getting very excited. Lots going on tomorrow - I have the plumber coming to replace our hot water service (its had the gong!) and getting a quote for 2 new wardrobes in the girls rooms. At least its cooler tonight - the breeze outside is lovely

  3. #111

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    just got back home again - went to brigade and stayed too long. I'm knackered.
    Simone - ditto to what the others have said, but you already must know what my reaction would be. You are not playing that game anymore - tell yourself that out loud, please! You are not 'his' to bully. What you and XH had was not 'normal', so there's no point trying to keep up that farce - better to normalise them to the new reality and explain it as best as you can.
    Sorry I can't write anymore, I have to go!

  4. #112

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    Good morning Junies Am about to get the kids ready for a trip to NorthLand. We catch the bus from Ivanhoe Station... I've rung the bus company and confirmed that it will be a ultra low modern bus so easy to wheel the pram onto. I've done the trip about a dozen times before. Wade Loves it! The main objective today is to buy Verity's school shoes. I've discovered over the past few years that if you buy a good quality leather pair (like AirFlex) they last the whole year without falling apart. They also come with these cushioned leather-like inserts that she wears for the first half of the year... really extends their life and adds extra arch support. So important to look after children's feet. I'll probably receive another stationery kit of which will be given to Rory.

    Simone: Hope you have a productive and peaceful day with your children and minimal contact with your X. I hope you don't feel like we are constantly lecturing you. It's so hard to make huge life changes... it doesn't just happen because you make up your mind about it. Obstacle after obstacle will pop up in front of you and it would be sooo easy just to take the path of least resistance... the path that seems to involve less fighting and conflict. I think it was Divvy who said "good things come from struggle" so you've got to be prepared for a struggle. You X will try to convince you that "all will be well" if you just do things his way. *shaking head* You're going to have to do things that he doesn't like and that will involve conflict and it will be hard. He will use your children against you then but if YOU stay calm your kids will be ok. I agree with Mel. Sell what you have to to fund your trip back to Perth. Sell your car! Sell the furniture. Start shipping stuff back now. Your X will probably be able to take over the lease... if not so be it... you might have to sacrifice the bond... more than worth it. I'm not saying these things lightly. I have lived through this before. I've moved across Australia several times. I've also moved house with children. I've also lived in a violent family situation and I know that all it takes is for your X to realise that you're not just going to resettle back into his idea of a family unit and he will become increasingly frustrated and you and the kids will suffer.

    I can see that it might be tempting not to share your thoughts with us anymore if we keep nagging at you. I'm sorry if we frustrate you but we do care and we do have objective perspectives of your situation. I hope you can see some value to what we are saying. I guess if we annoy you too much you could seek support from other BB members but I hope it doesn't come to that. Have you been in touch with the Perth Junies? I'm sure they are ready to welcome you over there with open arms! Of course we will miss you but we honestly want what's best for you and your children darl.

    gotta get ready to go! See you all this afternoon!

  5. #113
    Cee_Cee99 Guest

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    hello girls,
    just a quick hello to let you all know that I'm also now in the July babies thread - nothing personal, I actually really really really like you all, however I feel that Ally is no where near as developed as your babies and she is so much more like the July babies... So for baby talk I'm going to hang out a bit there as I really want to compair Ally development and milestones with other babies her age, - but for general friendship I'm still going to post here... Anyway, I just did not want you all to think I've jumped ship if you see me post in July, he hee... chat later
    CC

  6. #114

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    Hey girls... MY CAST COME OFF TODAY!! had it on for 7 weeks... my skin is peeling, and it smells... but is very tender so i cant scrub it really hard... just keeping washing it It still hurts a lot, so i just have to slowly get back into using it. The orthopedic surgeon seems to think i have some ligament damage, but hopes it will settle down with some physio. Have to go back in 6w for a check up...

    Bath - i really dont want to go back to Perth!! I love it over here Im going to go back soon, just not right now. XH and i had a talk (over email, s i could not be swayed by anything, and i have proof of everything he has writen) and i have asked him to back off a little bit, and want at least 1 night a week to myself. Ask he's been staying here for dinner, he gave me some extra child support today ($50 extra) which will come in handy. But i told him to back off a little. Even though im lonely, i get the computer to myself, eat what i want, and if the house is untidy at the end of the day, it doesnt matter, no-one to nag me about it...

    CC, Anneliese is nowhere NEAR these kiddies as well, she's just started holding her head up during tummy time!! Im in the august baby buddies too only because i went through my whole pregnancy with those girls!! And nic's with the april girls. We just post in both sections. Dont feel bad!!

    You can discss with e what our babies arent doing

    Hope you're having a good day!
    Last edited by simone; January 18th, 2007 at 12:59 PM.

  7. #115

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    Hi CeeCee: yeah, don't worry about posting with the July babies ... I'm sure there will be a range of achievements/milestones with them too... babies are all so different. Niall isn't sitting yet, neither has he moved on from rice cereal and only has about 2 tablespoons of that each day... oh and occassionally some pureed apple... and the occassional rusk. However he is becoming more active and they develop an appetite with mobility. He is definately moving forward now but I wouldn't call it proper crawling yet. He can hold his whole body weight up off the floor, balancing/supporting his weight on his toes and hands.... then rocking backwards and forwards. Wade was sitting at this stage, it's hard not to compare... and he also had top as well as bottom teeth. Niall has 2 bottom teeth and a top one about to break through. I think somebody mentioned clapping... Niall can't do that yet, or wave bye bye. Those milestones are a few months off yet. He has just started being anxious around strangers which is inline with his age. Sometimes he will burst into tears when a nice little old lady peers too closely at him in the pram.... still it's not all the time... I know it will get much worse. He is taking longer to settle at night, which is also normal for this age group, now we don't expect him to self settle without tears. Motion still helps and he settles well in the pram, but we are trying to avoid letting him become dependant on that. Often after his last feed at night I will just let him crawl around the end of our bed until he naturally drifts off as I read a book... then i transfer him to his cot. He will sleep there until 3am when he wakes for a feed which I do in our bed. After he drifts off i transfer him back... it's usually no problem.... then he will sleep until 7am.... then he comes in for another feed and usually naps until about 8.30am. I expect his sleep patterns to become more erratic over the next few months... He might settle down again by the time he is about a year old when he could go either way: become more unsettled or sleep through: Verity became even more erratic, Wade started to sleep through more regularly.

    Well, Niall's just gone to sleep after crying for about half an hour. i sat at the end of the cot above his head where he couldn't see me and stroked his forehead. I had the radio playing, room dimmed, fan on. Then a rowdy song came on so i got up to change stations (to a drone-like news channel which is very soporific for babies) and when I was up doing that I turned around and found him asleep!

    Going to help Verity cover her school books now... hope everyone has cool, peaceful and productive afternoons!

  8. #116

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    CeeCee- dont feel bad as Simone said i also post in April buddies. Nixon is probably the last to do anything in that thread cause he really isnt a April baby (most are crawling and talking and standing but Nixon isnt) but i still like chatting with them and hearing what their bubs do, gives me an incling in what i am in for!! so i still wanna hear how Aleise is doing and what she is up to aswell as yourself ok.

    just got back from chadstone... waste of time took 45min each way... dh and i argued the whole way there so i said lets do our own shop and meet back. i took nixon i didnt really get anything done other then essentails (medicare, meat, toilet) and bought some things from toys r us with a voucher i had.
    bath we were gonna go to Northland we should of would have only bee half the distance.
    AF arrived yesterday and is very heavy, very crampy and i just feel aweful, bloated yukky feeling....

  9. #117

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    I completely understand, CC! It is a bit weird to read through posts that describe things that you're not up to yet. Like with us, Oscar is nowhere near having solids as meals, just as tasters, and many of our Junies are feeding substantially more than I am. And there are other things that Oscar is doing that others aren't. The lucky thing for you, Simone, Nic and Jess is that you have two places to post!
    Oscar is a bit off today. I'm not sure yet what it is, but last night and this morning his body was hot. Until this afternoon he didn't seem any different, temperament wise, but he does now seem a little off.
    I bought some 1 size clothes today at a local recyclers - just to make sure that I have clothes to phase into! Of course, our friends will have bags of 1's to loan us, but it's nice to have a small bunch of things in each size that we can keep for subsequent kids. I also tend to choose more gender neutral clothes (just how it ends up being, not on purpose!), so we can pass them between my sister and I. So much for the challenge not to buy stuff outside of essentials! Speaking of which...
    Oooh, in my bigger news...I am getting aircon in my car tomorrow! I ran it by DP after getting a quote for it, and he has given it the nod It's actually for Oscar and not me, because I just love to roll down a window and savour the heat...but how can I get Oscar to appreciate that feeling when all he feels is yuck?? I can't, so AC it is. We also do a lot more camping than I did as a kid, so as much as I lived without AC as a child, it was only really that once a year camping trip in summer that we had to suck it up. It seems a bit extravagant to do it, but with a CFA discount, we can get the AC going again for just over $200. The car has had AC before, but it needs a bit of an overhaul.
    Simone - good call about discussions over email! I think it is slowly sinking in for XH that you are not going to change your mind and that this is for real. Mel is right on the money with what she said in her last post. And I am so glad that you are cast free! Just in time for the weekend's horror weather forecast, too
    Ok, I said I was going to make a smoothie and that's what I'm going to do now that Oscar has fallen asleep in the Ergo.

  10. #118

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    Well, told XH i need a break, and told him i want to go to Kareoke tonight... thinking of heading into moonee ponds, as i dont want a really late night, and the last tram comes back this way about 12am...

    Either that or i will just go to skyways (they havekareoke, but dont know what its like)...

    Anyway, XH said he'd watch them and get them from daycare, but i have to get him first... he's even going to do my dishes

    If i dont come back on later, i'll talk to you all tomorrow - sorry i havent said much today, my wrist is hurting a bit...)

  11. #119

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    Hi girls a late one from me today,

    Simone glad to hear that the cast has come off, have fun tonight and I'm soo glad that you get to have some me time.

    Nic sorry to hear AF is playing havco this month hope you start to feel better soon, take some panadol and have a lay down.

    CC Cody still isn't doing some of the things that the others are doing yet either, he can sit up for a little bit, he's just learnt to blow raspberries, he can't get up on his knees yet but he does move backwards, like Bath said all babies develop at their own pace, so enjoy talking to us and the July girls.

    I've been lurking for the last few days mostly as I've just been having a blah feeling, can't get motivated sort of feeling, hopefully it will past soon. Ok going back to lurking for a while.

    IK I hope Oscar picks up soon, I'm going to try and make your slice later tonight.

    Bath did you end up making the second batch of IK's slice?

    Hi Mel and everyone else.

    hugs xoxo

  12. #120

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    I'm sorry for being away but its been too hot to use the computer.
    Here's my moan....I'm sorry but i need to let it out.

    As you all know we live in a van, only a little one but at least its owned by us.
    DH, as much as I love him, does nothing with the kids but is wonderful with the cleaning, cooking etc... I never go anywhere without at least one child!!!!!!!
    We went to the Real estate agents the other day and it seems that we now have a black mark against our name. So no house anytime soon, its cool we can handle it! The heat is driving me around the twist, we have no air con., no evap, nothing! The way we are coping with the heat is opening all the windows and sitting in a boiling annexe watching DVD's.
    We don't have a stove or hotplates(they blew the fuses in the house!) and do most of our cooking in an electric frypan. If we have to cook stuff like lasagna or roasts, then we organize for my aunts to cook it....I don't want any sympathy, and thats not why I'm writing this... I want ppl to realise that there are ppl in this country who have no house and are trying to survive. DH can't work(even though he wants to) because of his back and we are trying to bring up 6 children on Centrelink benefits...I'm not ashamed of being on this and before ppl say but you are getting good money there, well think again.
    We live on $600 a week and out of this we pay for our bills(yes we pay for electricity, and water), fuel for our car(which we own),food to feed the children, school fees, storage fees, and at the end of the week we usually have $50 left. Now it might seem like I'm whinging here but I'm not! I'm lucky that I have family around and I am extremely grateful for all their help.
    For the first time in a very long time, I'm going out on the 27th WITHOUT any children.My mum has gratefully offered to look after all 6 children for me for a couple of hours. I'm going out for a bit of fun at my 12th year School Reunion.
    As I said before I'm not looking for pity and I'm not looking for sympathy..I'm looking for understanding.

  13. #121

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    It's yours, Jess! Go out and have a ball, ok? You don't have my pity, I don't feel sorry for you - I just have an understanding that you are a fellow human being who puts her family first and I absolutely love that So, for once, have a guilt free night out to catch up with school buds and feel like a WOMAN in your community as well as a mummy! Your mum is being a gem, too.
    I gotta go and think of dinner...

  14. #122
    Cee_Cee99 Guest

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    Thanks girls, knew you would not take it personally.. it has more to do with the fact that all the girls in my actual Mothers Group have June babies and they are ALL crawling / sitting / have teeth... so when we meet up Ally just lies there like a blob and cries as she is tired and does not know how to put herself to sleep. Their babies are sleeping through the night and will just put them self to sleep if they get tired, Ally still wakes at 11pm, 2am, 4am and 6am (and is then awake) and still only cap naps during the day like a newborn...

    So I feel like she is not developing properly or as fast as the others... their babies are also so much bigger than Ally.. She has slipped from the 80th percentile, to the 15% percentile so that is not helping either... I'm not sure if I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill, but when I read the July girls posts it was all stuff like "my baby has learnt to roll"... and I was like, yeah, that is the stage Ally is up too she is not behind at all. Anyway sorry for babbling, I'm just so tired and wanted to explain that it had nothing to do with you all...
    luv
    CC

  15. #123

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    sorry I've been missing for sooooo long.. so much has happened.

    Sorry to hear about your split Simone - hope things work out for you soon.

    Cooking dinner atm so will pop in again later. Ciao for now!

  16. #124

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    Hiya Jess, has the rain arrived up there yet? I understand about having to simply share a vent. Like IK said, we know you aren't looking for sympathy...By revealing your battle that, like my signature quote says... everyone has one, it's just seeking understanding. Just to be heard helps hey? Sometimes I drive people crazy with my Pollyanna perspective on life but there's always a positive slant to every challenge. In your case I think you are raising children who will have incredible resilience! They'll be the kids who'll deal with a stinking hot day on school camp when the others are fainting all over the place! Verity experiences this all the time. In winter (even though we have central heating I'm very stingy and rarely use it) she doesn't seem to notice the cold as much as her friends who get driven to school in heated cars (Verity walks even on the coldest morning)... sorry to sound like a dragon mummy... but she's tough! And your kids will be tough too! I agree it's probably YOU who finds it the hardest to deal with ATM. So don't feel bad venting. This is exactly what this forum is for. Also, those of us who don't share that particular challenge shouldn't feel bad about it... like Mel who has got air con. It's ok to be grateful for something and not be afraid of annoying those who don't... I know Mel isn't rubbing my face in anything LOL (((hugs Mel))). I also momentarily felt bad about posting that my DH wrote me a love poem the other day... I thought to myself :"oh, maybe that wasn't very thoughtful given Simone's loneliness"... but then I realised that if I took that train of thought it would never end!!! Because then I would have to avoid posting about Verity's education in case somebody feels bad that they can't provide that? And maybe I shouldn't mention my DH's bonus because some people in here are experiencing financial difficulties... maybe I shouldn't mention that we are going on a holiday becaue some Junies haven't had one in years??? So I don't think we should censor ourselves either...it's ok to celebrate and be thankful for what we do have. It's up to each of us to be strong and deal with our battles knowing that this is a caring place where we'll always find a shoulder to cry on when the going gets tough. So vent Jess And celebrate the good times!... we all know how much you deserve your night out on the 27th so you get on here on the 28th and fill us in on every detail!!!

    ETA: I can receive but not reply to emails ATM sorry to those who have emailed me recently! I'm not deliberately snobbing you all!

  17. #125

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    Bath, you reminded me! I meant to say about your poem (he wrote it for you, it's YOURS now LOL), that was such a beautiful thing to read about! DP would have to be very ill to write me something like that, but I know he thinks these things from time to time...sadly, I don't even know this because he's telling me, I know it cos I have to work really hard to think about what he's thinking by the way he's acting! Challenge has brought back some of the old DP that went underground (when switching to working in construction...which he hated working in), however, he was never disposed to really talking about how he feels about me. I thought that would really bother me, but mostly, it doesn't. So, instead of making me insanely jealous, I lived it a bit vicariously through your post
    I agree, too, that if we worry too much about other people we will never be ourselves. It's up to other people how they process what you say and do, provided you are being honest and respectful about it. I don't feel any jealousy reading about people's aircon, bigger houses, better cars, appliances etc, because what I don't have I make up for in other ways that would just not interest others. My horse, for example. I am rich and privileged because I have a horse I derive intense pleasure from having, I live in a beautiful area that stays cooler than other areas of this city, I have a full social life that sometimes needs scaling back, I have interesting hobbies (to me), and I can sing better than a lot of people. They are my values and they make me happy. That same set of circumstances could very well make someone else absolutely miserable! We all do what we gotta do, in the end, to achieve our own happiness Even if we're not in our ideal situation, like Jess and Simone, we have our unique aspects of our lives that do make being alive just that bit better - our kids, our communities, families etc. It's all relative. We're not just a cheer squad in here, we're also the reality check because often we don't need empty agreement, we need a dose of the real deal. THAT is what I love about us Junies. What's left of us here does really warm my heart, even during disagreements and spats!!
    Thanks for the call, Jess - it's nice to 'connect' from time to time
    CC - If it makes you feel better, Oscar doesn't 'sleep through the night' even though he is barely awake during feeds and is back asleep before he realises he was nearly awake. Oscar does NOT self-settle! And he has no teeth yet. He shows no interest in sitting (though if he sat still long enough without propelling himself into a destruction seeking crawl he might!), and doesn't wave. He definitely has his own pace happening! And I couldn't give a rats about the charts or percentiles etc. He is a happy chappy, bulges out of his nappies and that's what I go by. You just talk about Ally into whichever thread takes your fancy on any given day, just come in and say hi here of a time!
    Ok, this took ages to write and post between distractions, I'm off again...

  18. #126

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    Thanks for the acknowledgement ladies.
    I was saying to IK when we spoke earlier that we should have a back to nature meet!
    Euroa is on the Freeway and we have a lovely park where we all could meet up and get back to nature.It would have to be on a weekend so all the hubbys/partners could come or we could have it during the week, even could jump on the train....(I was thinking after the kids go back to school.)

    Just looking at the timetable
    Train leaves Spencer st at 8.13am gets to Euroa at 10am
    Leaves Euroa at 2.18pm gets into Spencer St at 4.07pm

    I know its a long day but it would be worth it, I could have a BBQ and there is a park for the kids!

    Alright, I'm boring everyone now. Its just started to rain here again so I'm going out to enjoy it.

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