Babies Born June 2006 #45

[Smoke Jaguar]

Sorry, just quickly: Tali, talk to the teacher. I would think that these days they have the 'tools' to deal with these things within the school. There's obviously something going on for this other boy, too, and someone should have a plan of action for dealing with both boys at the same time. See if you can tee up a counsellor for your DS asap, just to see where he's at in his head and what you are dealing with (like how long it's been happening, affecting school work, etc).

[New Dawn]

Thanks Maya I might see if the school has one I'm sure the other boy is just rubbing himself as it feels nice but it just that when DH was home last week DS was pretending to hump him when he was laying on top of DH's back we just laugh it off but now I'm thinking there might be something more to it. Plus I know that this boy in question lives with his dad and has little to do with mum not that I think that his dad is doing anything but when you get a few blokes together on a saturday night who know what they talk about when they think the boy is in bed iykwim

[Bathsheba]

Hey don't fret too much Tali... it's not that uncommon for kids to share info like this. I heard a fair bit of it when I worked with littlies... kids as young as 4 sharing what they know to whoever will listen (most thought that it was too weird and just wandered off leaving the informer without an audience! ) However I would definitely follow it up like Maya said. Best to know what you're dealing with. Just make sure you don't act outraged or shocked. Speak ultra calmly to him... even nonchalantly (totally unphased). Demanding answers won't extract much info. And again, don't stress, if he seems his otherwise normal happy self then i'm sure there's been no harm done

[*Ali*]

Tali I think it is important to report this to his teacher as it is something that teachers need to know about with students. The other student may have other issues they are quietly monitoring, and information like this is invaluable to a teacher.
Like the others have said, talk about it calmly with the teacher, schools do have things in place to deal with this, so make sure you ask to access them if you want to.

[New Dawn]

Thanks all, Had a chat with the teacher she said she would have a talk to them but she did just seam to laugh it off a bit but she is a old school teacher and this would not be the 1st time she has sean this, but as DS did really want me to say anything at all I thought I wouldnt make a big deal of it.

Kai is taking her her nappy off all the time and then she will stand there and do a wee and hold her self and say yuck, Do you think it to early to start training? I remember DS was trained before he was 2yrs but it took DD1 until she was almost 3yrs maybe I will try when we get back after chrismas.

well better go she has made a smell and is now wanting to take off her nap again......

[MelS]

Forgot to mention that Donna (Junie member) emailed me through Facebook! She found Maya, then through Maya found me! How freaky is that. She said to say hello to everyone and she will try to get back on BB soon. She has been super busy, Lachlan is great and she has 14 weeks to go till bub#2.

Rory - hope Flynn got to have some fun time with his nana and you some good nap time.

Ali - how's your back? Hopefully not giving you too much grief. Regarding shopping, I am one of the biggest suckers when it comes to kids stuff, just can't help myself, it's all so cute!! You are doing well to resist lol! That is so cute that Tori has such good manners. I have been repeating the word "ta" I don't know how many times but to no avail. Like the idea of the paddling pool. We have a plastic clam shell and the girls played in it on Monday (our stinking hot day). I put in under one of the UV tents so it stays in the shade. They had a ball.

Tali - would love to see your xmas cards. For years I have been meaning to do my own but it never happens. Usually because I can't get a decent picture! I bet your pics are better than the $500 ones anyway. Its so handy having a primary school teacher in our group (Ali, you will prob get heaps of questions from me once Chelsea starts school lol!!!) to help with these tricky questions. Sounds like you handled it really well and did the right thing by chatting to the teacher.

Today I have a big BOO HOO! If DH has to work on xmas day, its normally a 4 hour shift and they can nominate the time. He requested 10am-2pm so he could be home in the morning when the girls opened presents etc and would be home in the evening. He came home last night to tell me he has been put on nightshift starting 23rd December!!! They have to do 7 nights of nightshift, then 3 additional shifts before they get some days off. So now it means he gets home at 6.30am on xmas day (maybe later depending on whats happened during the night) and will have to get to bed at some stage as he will have to go back to work at 10pm on xmas night. So not only does he miss out on spending more time with us on xmas day, but we have Boxing Day at my dads and he will miss nearly all of that too. Nothing can be done about it, he has to do it. I just have to "suck it up" as they say and get over it!! But I am still annoyed

[Roryrory]

Oh Mel that truly sucks!! At least one thing is good - he will be there to see the girls open their pressies. But still awful Does it give him first dibs on a decent shift next year?

Sorry for the short post girls - Flynnie is being too cute to leave

[New Dawn]

Mel-We too have had many christmas's like this it does make it hard this year DH will be away until the 26th and will fly in at 9.30am so the kids have writen a letter to santa to ask him to come on the night of the 25th so that then Daddy can be home to see them open presents. Maybe you too could ask santa to come a few days early or late but I guess this would be harder to do with family around. The thing I hate when this happens is that it always seems the boy with no kids or with older none believer always get the good time slots I realise that they need a chrissy too but before we had kid DH alway tried to take the bad time slots so the one with little kids can be home as you only have this time for such a short part of there lives. would anyone swap christmas eve night? If you would like a card could you PM me you details as I would love to give you girls a card as you have been my life boat this year.

Just a little tip with paddle pools if you put a bit of detol in the water it will keep most of the bug and thing away if you leave it out over night we had to do this up here to keep the toads out yuck!! but just a small amount should be enough due to the smell, unless you have a lid then you are fine.

Last night after the DD's where in bed DS was talking to me and said he had to sit in the office all lunch time when I asked him why he said it was because of the sex stuff I couldnt get much out of him as he shut down ( he is very shy and always shuts down when ask questions) but all I could get was that he and the other boy were in the toilets and the other boy drew them having sex with soap on the mirror now I am not too stupid I 'm guessing DS was laughing and what have you but he thinks he was in the office because I told the teacher whats going on now do I risk asking the teacher whats going on or do I leave it as there is only 3 weeks left of term? I really hope he wasnt put in detention because of me.

[AmandaJ]

Hey everyone, just checking in, move went well hopefully will be back online soon.

hugs xoxo

[Smoke Jaguar]

Tali - just keep communicating with his teacher, let him know he's not in trouble with you at home and stay sensitive to him You're doing a good job with him.
Amanda - soon the chaos will be over!
Mel - that sucks about DH! At least the girls will see him on the day, though. My dad missed a few Christmases with us for working on ships, and I would have traded in my presents for him to be there at all. Still it sucks that they reneged on the plan!
Cleaning up more of the house now that I'm getting better and more energised from eating again! Oscar is sleeping, so there's been a burst of activity in the last hour from DP and I.
We had an election night party across the road last night and it was a lot of fun.
Bugger, he's awake now...

[MelS]

Rory - I am so glad that he will be home for pressie opening. Chelsea was beside herself with excitement last year so its bound to be more exciting for her this year! And Marley will be able to rip open everything. He worked last year but only for 4 hours in the afternoon, which was what he was hoping for this year. I will be making sure they don't roster him on next xmas! How are you travelling? I can't believe you are so close.

Tali - that is so sweet of the kids to ask Santa to send their daddy home early! I shouldn't be the one complaining, you should be. At DH's work they usually get the younger/single ones to do the early or late shifts, but for some reason this year, they are letting too many take holidays and they need to make sure they have a senior person on too, so DH fills that spot. As Maya said, keep talking to him about it, but keep the conversation light and relaxed. Hopefully he will relax enough to talk to you about it a little more.

Amanda - great the move went well, see you back online soon (hopefully!!)

Maya - so glad to hear you are feeling better. Some dad's really do miss out alot with their jobs. I hope my kids don't remember too many times that their dad isn't home for xmas. Times like this I really hate his job! I think an election party sounds like a great idea, you have to find someway to make the night interesting lol!

We have had a busy weekend. Dinner at one of Chelsea's kinder friends house, it was a great night and the kids really enjoyed themselves. DH worked today so I took the girls to my brothers and they played with the cousins. Marley is starting to say a few more words, some don't make much sense to me but she knows what she is saying and gets very annoyed at me when I don't know what she means!! My SIL is taking part in a study on language development with the Royal Children's Hospital (her DD is 14mths old) and it sounds really interesting.

Trying for an early night (well this is early for me LOL!) tonight, so best get myself off to bed!

[nickers]

sorry no personals just cant find the time but i have read all of your posts. exept Tali i would be chatting to the teacher for sure its quiet a serious issue that needs to be addressed immediatley i think. hope it goes ok

unfortunatley Tyron has taken a big leap backwards with the bf, as from Thursday night he decided he didnt want to feed from me again. After several days of screaming matches and tears from both of us i am 99% sure i am going toss in the towel.
Its upsetting me too much, i get myself too stressed out and finding the time to continue expressing is just dam near impossible.
He has had boob juice for 6weeks and with my supply and as i slowly start to drop the expressing down we'll prob make it to 3months worth. I can't do any more than that i feel selfish for persisting with something that he just doesn't want. I need to get my life on track and be a good and happy mother rather than an upset, emotional, impatient and angry one.

[New Dawn]

Nic- You have done a wonderful job getting this far you should feel proud of that, its better for both boys to have a happy mummy than a stessed out feeding mummy. I had to also give up around this stage with both the girl as I thought it was just better for them and me if I gave it away as they didnt want it and I didnt have any milk anyway it seams that some children just dont do well with the BF no matter how hard you want it or try.


Well I spoke to the teacher she told me he was playing up on friday and thats why he was not playing at lunch so I told her that he thought it was beacause of what I had told her, she once again told me no and that she hasnt talked to them about that yet! and still hasnt today. ( as I asked DS ) I asked her to not have them in the same class next year, she said she will keep it in mind. I am so glad that he want have her next year as this is our 2nd year with her and I aways feel like what I say too her in unimporten(sp?) that I am just too young to know any better iykwim as she always just seems to almost laugh it off or tells me she will have a talk to them and never does bet she wouldnt do this to the other mums. sorry for going on a little vent! you would think after all these year I would get use to been the young mum around, but I forget every now and then as I am catching up in age but I will never be there age I guess.

Thank God there is only 3 week left this year and we move down to melb next year where he will be put back a year too where he sould be.

[Smoke Jaguar]

Nicole - did you ever follow up on your local breastfeeding support/discussion group? Would you like me to find the details for you if you don't have time? If you would, PM or email me or text me your suburb (dammit, now that I'm in 'reply' mode, I can't see if your username line has your suburb in it!) and I'll send you the details, even the contact details. You probably don't think it will make much difference, and you'd be surprised at how it can make a difference to know there's someone local to call and talk to when the going gets tough. Doing things on your own is not easy and a tough time can seem so much tougher when you think you're isolated I know members will post in and say that you've given it your best shot (you have!), and you will have lots of people saying they agree that it's the best thing to do. You haven't thrown in the towel yet, so I'm not going to, either, for what it's worth, ok? And this comes from someone who knows how bloody hard it can be. You've had a taste of success and it's all you can do to keep hanging on to that feeling. Can you whisper this into Ty's ear on my behalf please: "You can do it kid, you've done it before"? Just humour me! I know how heartbreaking it is. One idea - do you think you could book a massage once a week for a few weeks and get DH to look after the kids for that hour? Many places do massage after hours. You've been doing such a mammoth job with Ty, I reckon you deserve it...

[Roryrory]

Oh Nic - I hope you and Ty find a way forward that keeps you both happy, whatever it may be

Just a quick one from me - I still have 9 days to go to my EDD but I am starting to worry about going over LOL! Will post more in my pg journal but I think because this time everything is "ready" (unlike when Flynn was due) I am starting to get testy!

Flynn is still an absolute joy - really sweet and cute ATM. Poor mite has had 4 eye teeth/canines (?) come thru in the past week so wasn't sleeping or eating well but is back to his old robust, guts-ache self......

Better go - dinner waiting to be stir-fried.

[MelS]

Nic - :hugs: things aren't supposed to be this hard are they? You do what YOU feel is right for you and your family and you know there is no judgement in here. You have done an absolutely mammoth job so far, don't underestimate that. Don't be harsh on yourself either, being a mum to 2 small children is alot different to being a mum to just 1 and you are doing a great job. I hope that the happy mum returns soon - chin up sweetie and keep smiling

Tali - if they aren't listening to you, keep hassling. If you keep at them enough, they will listen. Its a bit disappointing that they are just dismissing you and your concerns. Is there anyone higher you can talk to like the principal?

Maya - that massage idea sounds perfect, I could do with one of those myself! Maybe us Junies should all book ourselves in for a bit of pampering.

Rory - LOL you prob will go over (sorry!), Murphy's Law, you are prepared and ready, now you must wait! Hang in there babe! Glad to hear Flynn is back to his happy little self.

Spent most of today doing housework that I didn't do over the weekend (boring!). Had a GF come over in the afternoon which was a welcome distraction. Chelsea chucked a tantrum over a DVD, she wanted to watch Toy Story and her friend wanted High 5 Christmas. We explained that its polite to let guests choose, and she gets to choose when she goes to his house, finally she listened and let him watch it. But she was still trying to convince him that Toy Story would be better and that the High 5 one was scratched, it was so funny to listen to. She might end up being a good negotiator LOL!!

[*Ali*]

Greetings all,

Still here and still preg, only 3 weeks to go for me but counting down every day. Like Rory I am worried I will go over, but only because I REALLY dont want to have this baby on christmas day or boxing day.

Nic- Like the others have said, you have to do what is right for your family- no blame or shame involved- as a mother that is your job and you are doing a MIGHTY HUGE EFFORT, and you are a wonderful mum. Many women would have chucked the towel weeks ago, and yet you just kept on perservering with it.

Rory- So close now, dont you think the closer you get the slower each day goes? At least Flynn got his teeth out of the way before the baby arrived, Tori has only cut 1 with a second just about to pop through. I dont think she will get all 4 through before bubs arrives.

Tali- As a teacher (and a mother) it really annoys me that your feelings and concerns arent being given the proper time and consideration they deserve. I personally would take it further, especially the request not to have them in the same class next year. Is there a deputy or a principal that you can go to and just express your concern.

Mel- what a bummer about DH working nights over christmas, you must be a bit dissapointed about it. I am sure that christmas will be special for your girls anyway.

Tori is being a gem at the moment, her personality is really starting to shine through now and I just love the little girl that she is turning into. We ot for a beer with mum and dad on the weekend and we were sitting out in the beer garden listenin to a bloke sing and play his guitar, Tori decided to entertain the crowd by getting up and dancing and pretending to play the guitar....it was so cte and so funny. I cant believe in not very long at all I am going to have 2 wonderful little people to fill my life...........(as wel as my wondeful DH)

[New Dawn]

I hope both ali and rory dont go over if it gives you any hope both my DD's game early DD1 was 2weeks early and DD2 was 1 week early so there is hope.

Regarding DS I think I am just going to drop it and hope for the best next year I hate confrtation too wimpy anyway and as there is now only 2.5 weeks left dont think there is much they can do plus we hope to move in may/jun next yr. I know I should say something as he is my son and I should fight for him but he is already up set that I asked for them to in different class's and he thinks that he is the one in striff when the teacher talks to him so I figger I might do more damage if I go to the principal and he is asked to go and see her.

Kai has finely said another word!!! it was very funny as she had been doing stinky poppies all day, so I had been saying to her stinky bum all day as I would get a nose full as I would check her nap as thought it was a poo. anyway she came over to me and said " Oooo stinky" while waving her hand at her bum it was just too funny times like that I wish I had the camera on.

Mel - May does that all the time trys to talk her way out of thing or to get her own way... But she just copies her big bro as he will do it to her all the time.