Mel: about your mum, I would love to chat over a cuppa with you about her. I can so very relate. My relationship with my mother could so easily be similar to yours. Most days it also feels like I have no mother.... and every time we spend time with her it hurts, because she basically lacks compassion... everything has to be about "her" and in her mind children are not as important as adults and should learn to fit in with the needs of adults (not the other way around ). Some days I wonder if it wouldn't be better to cut her out of my (and my children's) life but from experience i know that that makes it harder for me to live in peace. I don't want to go on about my sitch too much in here but please know that I am here to talk to. With the school hols coming up you and the girls are most welcome to come over. I'm sure Verity wouldn't mind taking them outside for a while so we can chat. Like Maya said, it's a tricky one... all i can do is share my experience... and offer you my understanding