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Thread: Babies born in June 2006 #7

  1. #109

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    Congrats, KL! have fun looking for dresses!
    Trying to watch a DVD with DP but Oscar keeps crying - poor mite has air bubbles in him that won't leave him alone


  2. #110

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    Good Morning... well poor Wade is miserable with teething... at the moment he is watching Sesame Street (those weird aliens that go "yip yip yip uh huh.... uh huh" are on LOL) he threw a huge tanty this morning which left me no choice but to put him in his "quiet place" (the toilet)... apparently you only put a child in time out for as many minutes as they are old... so it was 3 minutes for him as usual (I round it up). He has calmed down now. Apparently he was up since 5.30am according to Verity... but she was a good girl and when he went into her room she allowed him to sleep for 20 minutes in her bed (she has a double bed).

    IK: Hope Oscar gave you both a good night's sleep after those bubbles!

    KL: Oooh that sounds exciting! Are you doing all the arrangements yourself? How many guests?

    Speaking of looking for dresses; I've got another day at the races to attend with my DH during the Spring Carnival (Caulfield Guinneas)... it's in a corporate marquee with his clients who are all lawyers and their partners... so the pressure is kinda on me to look pretty reasonable.... managed to last year... hope I can pull it off again this year... takes weeks of preparation (took me 3 weeks to find the right hat last year!) so it's a lot of self induced pressure but my DH and his boss made me feel really appreciated last year as I was able to keep the conversation flowing... not hard for an isolated SAHM to do! LOL interesting at the kind of topics that were raised that normally wouldn't have been raised... I had one of Melbourne's leading QC's talking about his childhood and how he stupidly dabbled with a ouji board! LOL DH was thrilled. Anyhow I was thinking of going for a 1950's look this year now that my hair is shorter.

    Better stop waffling on... C'mon Junies... where the heck are you all?

  3. #111

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    Well I am pleased to report it seems Tori had no adverse reactions to her needles, other than a tad of crankiness.

    I think I have cracked the problem with her day sleeps and self settling, we haventbeen swaddling her properly (she always seems to get herself unwrapped) so yesterday I bought a purpose built swaddling rug and the last couple of sleeps she has had in that have bee great, she has self settled and slept for longer.

    KL- How exciting about getting married, it is funny I was only thinking back to my wedding the other day, it was such a wonderful day. Our first wedding anniversary is a month today.

    Bath- OHHHH how wonderful to have such a great event to get all dressed up for. I can totally understand how it can take weeks to create the perfect look. I cant wait for the next formal event that we have so I can buy something fabulous to wear and get all dressed up. I think the next big even for us though is Nov next year when I am Matron of Honour at my friends wedding.

    I have bitten the bullet and decided to head back to weight watchers to help shed some Kgs I was actualley doing it when I got pregnant and had lost 17kgs, so hopefully it will be just as useful this time and i can get myself ready for summer.

    Anyway better go and get some brekky, hopefully we will see some Junies today!

  4. #112

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    hi guys, sorry i havent been on much, i really miss you all. oh and im typing one handed so sorry for any mistakes.
    things are still the same for me. lachlan will only sleep for 20 mins at a time and wont re settle unlless i hold him and then he wontlet me put him down. he is now waking up 5 times through the night instead of 3 so there goes any chance of sleep that i might have. i feel like i have done everything i possibly can and i have failed! he is just so unsettled and seems to be getting worse.
    i want to try the infacol again but DF dropped it the other day and broke the lid, do you think it will still be ok to use??

    also, i just put this in the general discussion part but what are you all doing for contraception? i was prescribed the mini pill but was told it might dry up my milk. has anyone tried it?? not that i really need it. DF sleeps down the other end of the house these days, and when he gets home from work and on the weekends he spends most of his time up in the garage. we are bickering at each other all the time now too. i thought this was supposed to be a nice time in our lives!!!

  5. #113

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    Oh Dee ((hugs)) It's hard when things prove to be very different from the myth. I guess we learn during pregnancy (the first time) that reality is often very different from the warm fuzzy stories we hear and see on TV. I often wonder why society goes to such great lengths to retain these myths... I guess many of us wouldn't procreate if we knew how truely hard it was! I don't want to sound too cynical though... for sure there ARE amazing moments... and they also don't tell you some of the positive things like how deeply you will love your new baby, I mean, so deeply that it makes you cry! Anyhow, what I'm trying to say is that it's an incredbily hard time for couples and that needs to be raised more frequently that what it is. My DH and I bickered a lot too for the first year (although there were a lot of other issues) and we still bicker a bit these days but we get over it much faster... it's like we've been humbled by our children... we both understand how demoralising raising children can be and so we are easier on each other. Once you have children you really can't fool each other much... or maintain any pretence that you are in control and capable etc. Even today i am wandering around the house thinking to myself: "this is soooo damn hard! (trying to deal with a sick toddler and a hungry baby at the same time) what's the solution? Should I put Wade in DayCare? Should I give in and pay somebody to do it? That's what most women seem to do? Working in the paid workforce is much easier/satisfying than dealing with mundane chaos every single day! Men don't want a bar of it! No wonder!" etc etc etc so no wonder couples take out the strain of it all on each other. Having a baby really does high-light the differences between the sexes. Before having my first baby I thought a lot of gender issues were created by society... and intially I really resented my DH for his differences but now I just kinda accept them; still annoys me that he can sleep through a child crying but hey... no point us both being sleep deprived... at least I know he'll be able to deal with some extra house work this weekend/ grocery shopping/ taking the kids to a park etc while I can catch up on some sleep.

    The medication should still be ok though i don't know much about Infacol.... what are you concerned about? Shards or it not boing air tight?

    I can't take the mini pill... makes me feel queasy... I'm just too sensitive to it. We use condoms.

    Both boys asleep now.... time to put on the kettle.

  6. #114
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    hi all,
    WOW, what a strange job mother hood is.

    My big news: I have a baby hammock, as Alexandra would sleep for a max of 45 twice a day and then maybe four or five 10-15min cap naps, that was it - it was driving me insane - she would only sleep if I was carring her - at night she was fine, just the day time thing... anyway, as soon as we put the hammock up (at 10am) she sleep for 2.5 hours - that afternoon I had mothers group, got back at 5pm and she went back to sleep till basically 7.30am today!!!!!!!!!! (I woke her every 4 hours for a feed, but she would go straight back to sleep). I've declared my house a no cry house now.. it is AMAZING... When every she gumbles, I pop her in and she LOVES it.. There have been no tears in 24 hours.. lets hope it last hey?

    Dee78 - the girl I go to mothers group with is on the mini pill and she told me that she felt her milk drying up because of it. The midwife who was runnign the group said that it was a common side effect, but maybe you can try and see for yourself, if you feel you are getting less milk, you can stop - I'm pretty sure your supply would come back once you stoped? (maybe check this with others?).... Sorry your having a few relationship problems, having a baby is a HUGE change on anyones life.. HUGS

    I hope it gets better soon (I'm sure once you get more sleep it will)..Have you tried a hammock - I swear for me it has been LIFE changing...the house is clean, dinner is made, DH and I had a good cuddle last night and I'm back on belly belly...I think if you get more sleep you will both be in a much better place to spend time together and enjoy each other...it is probably not the relationship, just the lack of sleep both of you are enduring.... and lack of time together..
    Last edited by Cee_Cee99; August 25th, 2006 at 12:42 PM.

  7. #115
    #karen# Guest

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    KL - Congratulations
    Dee - sorry to hear things are hard at the moment. When I had ds1 he was just as unsettled as your Lachlan, and it was a huge adjustment and strain on our marriage having an unhappy baby. I don't know what advise to offer except to hang in there. I found that it very hard to cope when you are sleep deprived. Have you got any other support around apart from dh? Can someone just take Lachlan for a while during the day so you can get some sleep?

  8. #116

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    Wow, Cee Cee! I'm so glad you've found your solution! I was reading about your new hammock in the other thread I was going to get one before Oscar was born, then after, but now the co-sleeping thing is working so well (was going to use it at night in our room) that I don't need it anymore. I will most certainly keep it in mind, though!
    Dee, I really hope you sort out your communication soon It's a bit rich of your DF to leave you looking after a baby you're BOTH responsible for and leave you high and dry in the communication department. It IS supposed to be a nice time in your lives...unless there are unresolved things that are made worse by lack of sleep and the exasperation of feeling like you're on your own.Like I said to DP once, I have to nurture Oscar and I'm trying to nurture him and us...doesn't leave me a lot of space left to nurture ME, so I asked him to look after me a bit and be a bit more considerate. I'm still not getting breakfast when he's home, but we are working much more like a team and speaking to each other nicely - a real partnership. If your DF can't find the energy to be communicative and nurturing in some way of the woman who gave him his beautiful son, then he needs a BIG wake up call. It's up to you to do what you need to do, but this situation is clearly making you sad...and is probably affecting your boy, too. Stress hormones do make their way into our milk, I reckon. First thing's first, though - do try baby-wearing and see how that goes. I would also give the hammock a try if you could hire one first to try. I wish I could go and slap your DF upside the head to remind him that he's got an awesome life now, if he chooses to open his eyes to see it...
    I have filled out my mini-pill prescription but not started to take it. As much as I'm lamenting this over-supply issue of mine, I would be out of my mind if my milk dried up. I have actually decided that I think the IUD is the way to go. My GP recommended it, as I had a couple of adverse reactions to the injection - she said that Implanon is supposed to have less side effects because of the lower dosage, but there are still side effects...and now that I'm fitting into my favourite jeans that I haven't worn for 3 years, I'm not really willing to chance it!! Now I just have to do something about getting to a gyney.
    Better go, I think I heard Oscar stirring...and these boobs need an emptying before we go for a walk with the dog (all rugged up cos it's FREEZING out there...I do like to rug up!)
    PS DP and I are quite buoyant ATM, musing over a semi-proposal about a property...a rare, great opportunity...gotta talk to my cousin's partner about our chances for a substantial loan cos he works in a bank (lending manager!)...stuff our dreams are made of...even if it doesn't happen, it's given us a real psychological boost towards our goal!

  9. #117

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    Just missed Karen's post - you're right, it could actually be the other way around. it's a bit of a chicken or egg scenario, huh? Is it pre-existing issues, or is the strain of an unsettled child creating strain in the relationship? I can't say, Dee, what it is in your case. I know that for us it's pre-existing stuff that becomes apparent when Oscar is stretching my tolerance for anyone else (I just can't get mad at Oscar), but if that 'anyone else' can work with me a bit, we ride the wave so much better.

  10. #118

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    thanks for your replies girls, its good to come in here and vent, the main issue with us is that DF is from the old school, he expects dinner to be ready when he gets home and the house to be spotless etc, i find it hard to even get myself dressed some days, and if i dont go anywhere he tells me im a homebody.Dont get me wrong, he is a loving man and has really helped out around the house but now feels that i should be doing most of it.
    When lachlan is having one of his crying fits DF will take him and if he doesnt stop crying he will give him back to me and tell me he's "over it". i just want a bit of support, i want to be able to have a shower and not worry that lachlan is crying and DF is getting flustered and yelling at him. DF's solution to it is to put him in a room and let him cry himself to sleep but there is no way that i will do it so when i have to hold lachlan DF tells me its my own fault that the baby is like this. The other day we were having a bake dinner and he put the meat in the oven and i went and asked him how long it was going to take so i could start the veges and put them in at the right time and he told me that i should know and i need to learn to cook and he cant "do everything"
    I just dont know what to do. some days its all good and we get on really well and other days im really angry at him and i dont want to be around him. Im sure once the baby settles things for us will settle too but its just such a hard time in our lives.


    Bath - with the infacol i was worried about the air having gotten in there for a couple of days, i dont know if these things go off or not. hmmm i might call the chemist and ask!

    Sorry to come on here and vent but i really need to get it out. This is the only place i can really vent.

    thanks for all your help, im hoping that this all settles down for us soon. As for the mini pill, i might give it a go as i have heaps of milk and a really fast let down so it might even improve that for me, if i feel that its starting to dry up then i will stop, im sure the milk will build up again.

  11. #119

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    Oh No! Dee! No no no... I'm sorry if this further upsets you but your DF is behaving like a relic from the stone age! Geeze i want to march right over to your house and tell him to wake up, smell the nappy, and get with the new century's program! "yelling" at Lachlan???? Nooooo

    Sorry... I need to calm down before i can be helpful... back in a sec.

  12. #120

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    Ok, *deep breath* Now i know I said in my previous post that i am now appreciating my DH more for his "differences" (I'm talking masculine traits) but I think on the whole most men these days have taken on board the idea that, for example, domestic duties do not compromise their manliness... yeah? Sure my DH is more akin to the concept of a SNAG (sensitive new age guy) but that's mainly because he was married before to a staunch feminist who trained him well.... if I had got him straight from his mother's wing he probably would have been more like your DF)...

    The phone just rang.... my sister had her baby an hour ago!!!! A little girl! They're both well!!! Gotta call my DH... back later!

    Ok back now... Dee, I don't want you to feel any worse about your relationship but I do want you to continue expecting your man to contribute more. It seems to me that he feels that the way he is behaving is "normal" and acceptable? I gather his parents support his attitudes? Does your DF have mates with wives that perform their womanly duties in the way he expects them to? Has it crossed your DF's mind that if he was to be more supportive you would feel better and THEN Lachlan would settle down? Does he know he's got it backwards like IK said? Little babies can sense when thier mummys are unsettled and it reflects in their behaviour. There's an old saying "If Mumma ain't happy then Nobody happy!" which is highly acknowledged in our house... it's not to say that I take advantage of it and try to milk it for all it's worth... but thankfully my DH knows that at the end of the day if he provides the support I need it will be repaid tenfold in a happy atmosphere, yummy baked treats, and even more intimacy IYKWIM So somehow you need to express this to your DF... uh oh... wade awake.... back later again!

  13. #121

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    Still dealing with an unsettled babe here...still feeding very poorly...I am almost 100% it is the reflux, just need to find a new way of dealing with it.

    Dee, I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. DH and I have never fought as much as we did the first 6 mths of DS's life. We couldn't believe how hard it was, and were angry that noone ever tells the truth...all you hear is "oh, babies are such a joy" but when you have an unsettled one, as much as you love them, it is the complete opposite of joy. We thought we resolved all the issues ready for Freya's arrival, but we are still having the same arguments, just not as often. I have to say though that your DF sounds like he is making it hard for you...you have 2 babies to look after instead of one. Please don't worry about venting in here, do it as much and as often as you like.

    Bath, congrats on your new niece, look forward to hearing the details!

    Freya crying, be back soon...

  14. #122

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    Hi girls,

    Sorry to barge in but I need some advice from Mums with bubs similar ages to my Scarlett, she is 11 weeks today.

    My concern is that when I put her on her tummy to play, she really doesn't lift her head much. I am starting to worry that there may be something wrong??

    Could you lovely ladies please tell me what stages your precious bubs are up to in regard to lifting their heads???

    Thanks so much

    Alicia xxx

  15. #123

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    Hi Alicia, no need to apologise You're most welcome to join us anytime... sorry I might not be of much help in easing your mind though: my 3 children were all born with unusually strong necks. Niall, like the others hold his up well however will occassionally fling his head backward when we are holding him upright so we've got to be careful. When he is on his tummy he can hold himself up and look around. Now this is just one end of a spectrum of normal neck strength... I'd say Scarlett has a few weeks to go yet until it would be considered a concern. what does your MCHN say?

    Jo: Thanks When I know more details I'll post them... only spoke with my BIL... who said both mum and bub are well... (it was an induction due to being 10 days overdue) and that Ebony has pitch black hair like her siblings. I'll speak to my sis next week no doubt and get all the important details!

  16. #124

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    hi girls:

    Bath - most of DFs mates are single which doesnt help my case, i try to tell him that i need a bit more help but he cant understand why, dont get me wrong i dont want you all to think that DF is a monster he is a lovely man.we are having a few difficulties making ends meet whic is causing us both alot of worry on top of everything else. DF did help out alot in the beginning but now thinks that i should be doing more around the house. the only thing is that lachlan is no more settled than when we bought him home from the hospital! im sure this will all work out, im just glad that i have you ladies, all my friens and family are in sydney so its not like i can just call in and see mum for a break etc.

    alica - lachlan doesnt lift his head a great deal, i wouldnt worry, scarlett will do it when she is ready. good luck.

    jo - i know what you mean about the reflux, i think this is mostly why lachlan is so unsettled, have you tried zantac? it didbt really work for me but it has for heaps of people. Also, when lachlan is in alot of pain and quite distressed i give him mylanta. sometimes i give it to him just after a feed. this seems to help a bit too. oh and keep it in the fridge, its really soothing on their little throats.

  17. #125

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    oh forgot to say congrats Bath!!!!!

  18. #126

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    Hi ladies!

    Aleise is stirring so I won't be long.

    Dee Sorry to hear about your DF - sounds like he needs a good slap on the head. If he were mine I'd tell him I'd be on laundry strike and he'd have to do his own! I've threatened Matt a bit with that one!

    Candy: The world is full of highly opinionated people - sorry to hear your mum is one of them. Just tell her you know what's best for your kid!

    IK: Good on you for being able to fit into old jeans - just don't remind us too often chickster - I've still got my jelly belly and my gym has the good classes when Matt's at work so I need to organise a babysitter to attend. Am going for walks though.

    Bath: Ohhh a formal occassion - how nice! hope you have fun darls.

    Update on me: NOt much to report really - poppett is doing well and for the first time in ages she woke at 3am for a bottle today. I think its because she didn't have much before her bedtime last night. We only have a week until her Baptism and it looks like 30 people will be attending. Ordered the cake today and it will be special since we've kept the flowers from our wedding cake for the occassion! (yes after 10yrs in the freezer they're still good). Well no biggie plans for the weekend - just our local church fete so that will be fun. We always win some alcohol at their lucky ticket van - whoo hoo!

    Hope everyone is doing well. Take care and will catch up soon.

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