MIL issues, those of you with platium have probably read about some issues i have with inlaws and them not staying at our house when new baby comes, we dont have the room and i get stressed with FIL here, watches me feed etc... generally feel uncomfortable plus he is very diffecult at time, DH and i discussed them staying with BIL int eh fuure and he's fine with it, understands etc.... i told MIL last time she was here that i get anxiuos stressed etc...
fast forward to tonight she rings prying for info on my anxiety fishing for info if i have PND i tell her we wont be able tohave them here because of room etc..and beacuse i find it stressful, dont want them to come look after sophie while i have baby, want my mum to, they live 4 hrs away! she gets upset, i understand why but still...told them i dont want anyone to stay here the first few night s after i get hiome, want some family time, this leads onto her stopping short of accusing me of blocking them seeing us!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!! me hysterical... i would never do taht and thats not want im asking!
sounds silly and petty but upsets me greatly they have been my second parents, i love her like my mum
oh babe and
Breathe in breathe out.... you have every right to want these things. This is your life, your family, your right. When we were having aston, I was going to have my mum come up from Melbourne to help with the kids, and for after when I came home for a couple of weeks. DH started getting antsy, and eventually said to me that he really wanted it to be just "us" the 4 of us and aston, to become a family. thankfully my mum was very understanding, and accepting of this. I can totally understand why you want this. It is your time together, as Sophie becomes a big sister, as you and DH become parents of two children, as you all adjust to the new dynamic of your family. I hope that your MIL can stop for a moment and understand that - but even if she doesn't Jols - this is HER problem, not yours, You and DH have made that decision, and if she wants to have a dummy spit, tantie, or anything else over it, leave it with her. You have not done anything wrong ok.
My mum spat it at me when I asked her to book her tickets 3 weeks after Jovie was due. She felt that it was her right to be here, and I had to remind her that it wasn't about her, it was all about me. It felt selfish, but its NOT!!!! Okay? My mum was here when Matilda was born and although I wanted her to be here, DH & I missed that precious time of babymoon on our own. Instead we had her in the background asking us what we were doing (like we knew... it was our first time).
Jols im terrible finding the right words....but i hope DH can sort something out...i did read your other post and again i couldnt find the words. ive not had to deal with that before. *Hugs*
BellyBelly Life Member - Love all your MCN friends
Jun 2004
The Festival State
3,008
CHRISTY - thanks for the up date - so sorry to hear your mum is going thru so much pain. So much happening for you. I dont even KNOW where our broom or mop is, that's how much housework i get done these days. Dishes and clothes/nappy washing - that's all i get done. Moving cities, that's huge. Wow, you have got heaps on your plate.
AJP - ARGGGGH! if i had a the energy, i would have a big scream for you! what pressure you are under from MIL. no way should you have to cop that.
VICKY - when if your dh's op?
KIM - glad the CC went well, i didn't realise it was for both of them, i have a hard time leaving ONE bilby at CC, so i would times that by two for you!
TaraLee - sorry honey - here am i wishing YOUR life away LOL, for some bizarre reason, i thought you were due NOW (shaking head), have no idea how i am three weeks out!! sorry poppet, as usual, my maths is terrible. See, i get all excited and clucky for you, and maths goes out the window.
Luaa - are you there? haven't heard from you for ages, hope you are ok, and darling Ella of course.
Me: i had a success of sorts today. It's school holidays, and i took bilby to a community library this morning, even got her there on time, to see a lovely guy perform children's songs, lots of hand movements and little dances, some TSI stuff (torres strait islander), some wiggles, some i coudln't place, but it was all great fun, guy was quite the comedian.
Bilby chose to PLAY WITH CRAYONS, whilst all the other (admittedly older) children joined in. She sorted the crayons from ONE icecream container to ANOTHER icecream container over and over, while this lovely guy sang, played guitar, made everybody laugh, told great stories. Ah well, i tried to provide her with a musical, dancing type experience. At home, she even dances to the end titles of kids shows - but here - NOTHING!!! The session was advertised for 1 - 10 year olds.
but main thing is, i got us out of our four walls, it's a start. that was my success.
Well done on a great day out Gigi! Chelsea would have loved that...she is quite a dancer....i reckon she is going to be my ballerina....has the standing on tip of her toes down pat and almighty balance!
Yep both my Princess's are at family day care now...1 child free day a week for me..and LOVING it...i so need that down time and ME time, i know once BumbleBee arrives it will be hectic again, so a good 6 months of quiet time is very welcomed. Jasmine goes Tuesdays and Chelsea goes Tuesdays and Thursdays.
Hows that bub baking going Ann?
How you feeling now Vicky....DH still being a PITA? Men....sometimes i have to wonder...but then some days i feel for them!
Christy wow....what a bust plate you have indeed. Id love to go back to NSW....but for the moment im calling good old Vic home for a while. All the best for your mum *Hugs*
Hows bub going Tara...giving you any more signs yet?
Blanche still thinking of you, hope Mr Jack is improving.
I have a mind blank and cant think of anyone else...hope you are all well!!
Woohooo now its Thursday i can say.... YAY 14 weeks today so 5-6 weeks closer to knowing if we have our Blue BumbleBee
thanks guys, wasnt them on the phone last night, DH spoke to his mum today to sort things out.
told her
yes he also finds his dad diffecult, she doesnt know how to address that with him (he will make a mountain out of a mole hill,) i understand we all have bad traits taht we cant change, but he can make more of an effort to change certain things he says, hes the srot of person who expects people to get him things instead of getting it himself, i feel like he's the percious one here!
she understands we want some time alone
understands we will no longer have the room to accomodate them
understands im not blocking them out!!
understand that it best for my mum to look after sophie while having baby, its just not practical to get them to drive 4 hours
still worried WTF...
so over family ****, respect our wishes, she works with PND women and she fishing to see if i have it and i DONT
fark have a head ache now!
Jols i find that incredibly rude and inappropriate. if thats how they want to be then fine, but don't let it ruin your day. i'm sure they'll come around and realise they were out of line if you mean as much to them as they obviously do to you. Big hugs tho, IL-relations sure can be tricky
Still here, still having pains but nothing to show for it...blah blah blah f**k i am over this
jols. So a hard juggling everyones emotions but i'm glad both of you confronted her. Its so easy to forget about yourself.
We are feeling better. Ella's uclers have cleared. Her breath is back to normal and she's eating crunchy cereal for breakfast so her mouth must be ok. She had almost a whole pear today! she can and asked me for it and she went to her high chair. So i got it and is ate it all!
Decide we'll tell the family after the dating scan this friday. Then we can be sure of the due date and at least see the heartbeat. Feeling OK these days cant wait to see the blimp on Fri.
Jols I'm sorry, been away most of today & this is the second time I've checked this thread. I'm glad she understands, and I hope she is able to soften things with FIL. I didn't have the best relationship with my FIL. Often times I had to stay firm, for example, I refused to leave the room to breastfeed Matilda.... in my house, 4 days after she's been home from hospital after a c/s. He was horribly offended & didn't speak with me the entire visit... until we went to visit 11 months later. Apparently I was horribly disrespectful having the baby blues, and having to breastfeed.... obviously an offence against him. So you are not along in this mate.
Jols
thats so hard, and wrong. Okay? You aren't wrong.
BellyBelly Life Subscriber
and
Bookmarks