i dont think you can or will ever be happy with who you leave them to, as in deciding that you are facing the fact that you have died and wont be with your kids ever again no one will parent them the same as you would have....

it horrible and a nightmare to face. but its just not fair to not have a plan in place if something did happen.

DH and i set a date we had to decide by, it stopped the merry-go-round confusion.

we did decide on my parents as 4 is just too many to give to another family and mum and dad would move into our house so the kids life could continues with out a move. we also have life insurance so that would pay for a nanny to help mum and dad out seeing they are older.

what about your SIL living at your house??