Gee I hope this post doesn't come across as being totally selfish, but I was just wondering (hoping!) if anyone has any thoughts on coping with your first Christmas after a loss. We have a total of 5 get togethers over a week with different parts of both of our families, and just the thought of spending time with those who have been non supportive of me throught this miscarriage, as well as those who don't even know about it, fills me with absolute dread Add to that a DH who has been not totally sympathetic of my feelings about Christmas this year - he thinks I should just go to it all and put on a brave face, and he thinks that I am trying to "punish" them all somehow for their lack of support. I wish he could just understand that I really don't care about Christmas this year - I'm not trying to punish anyone, I just feel a bit like the whole Christmas thing is just shallow (if that makes any sense) after what we have been through.

I'm prepared that I do have to make some effort for my DDs sake, because to me Christmas is mainly about her anyway, but I literally feel sick at the thought of having to act all cheerful and happy when I just don't feel that way - it is just going to be emotionally draining I really just wish I could go to sleep and wake up with Christmas over!

I just don't know if I should give some of the gatherings the flick this year, which I know is going to create tension with the family members involved, or what. Ideally I'd like to just get away somewhere with DH and DD and give all of it a miss, but unfortunately that ain't going to happen If anyone has any thoughts/suggestions on coping with it all they would be very much appreciated!