Genetic testing & silly dr

[snowie]

Hi
I'm new here
I have just had my third confirmed pg and m/c. Feeling down, of course. I had a D&C/D&E yesterday afternoon. Before surgery I spoke with my dr about testing, he said he would test for molar pg but nothing else.

Well I wasn't happy with that and rang his receptionist earlier today, she had him ring me. I just spoke to my Dr, he is refusing to do genetic testing my my baby. He tells me that 70% of m/c are due to genetic abnormalities; 20% structural problems. "It's not going to make a difference management of future pgs if we test."

I am just sooo upset, I don't give a stuff if it wont make a difference to future pgs, I just want to know about this baby who I didn't even get to meet.

It's so damn unfair - that makes 3 confirmed pg with m/c and a chem in '06 and I suspect a chem this year in July/Aug.
I just want a live baby.

Does anyone know of a dr who will do genetic testing on a m/c?


Dr is trying to convince me that there is nothing wrong with me, there's just no reason, other than that there is a 20% m/c rate for any pg. Heck 3 or more times in a row - that sounds like something is going on to me.

[Cuddlepie]

I am so sorry for your loss Snowie...A lost baby is heart-broken enough let alone three...You should definitely insist on finding out the reason....I am surprised that your Dr is saying what he is saying because normally they should take the initiative of investigating the reason without you even asking if you have 3 consecutive m/c (ie. reacurrent m/c). Are you seeing a GP or FS?

I had a m/c last July, it was my 1st pregnancy and was through IVF FET cycle and my FS was wonderful and he suggsted to do a genetic testing straight away, not only found out the reason for that specific pregnancy but also tested both DH and myself...the result turned out that we are both fine but that pregnancy has abnormal chromosome which means it would never gonna continue, it is sad but to some extent it gives us closure and it also gives us hope because we know there is nothing wrong with us and we can try again...

I know we are not expert in this field but sometime you do need to listen to your gut feeling and we do need to question because no one knows our body better than ourselves...

I hope you will find your answer and if you need any details about my FS, pls let me know...

All the best

[snowie]

Hi BeiBei
Thank you for your response. I was seeing an OB, he performed the D&C. I found out at my first OB appt that baby didn't make it; should have been 11wks. My GP was managing me until OB appt, even with GP I had to insist that I would have a 6 wk u/s. She was hesistant, but I was insistant - who was it going to hurt? Only my purse!

I had been seeing a FS. I had 2 appts, Aug and Sept, she ran some tests and scans; we were going to wait for '08 to start birth control and IVF because of Medicare rebate. I fell pg in Sept/Oct and then again in Nov/Dec cycle so FS doesn't know what we have been through. All I want is some closure, that is acutually the word I was looking for as my DH was challenging me. I am such a why? person. I just need to know. So I am really really frustrated/angry that OB won't work with me to find out.

I'm sorry that you had to have a loss too, but I'm glad that you got some answers.

[tempus moriendi]

I"m so sorry you're going through all this. I think he should test if you want him to. I'll keep you in my prayers.

[Kitt3n]

Snowie, what a shocking attitude your doctor has!

Your heart is breaking and he wont give you answers after 3? My understanding is taht they test at 3, maybe even 2. (however, the hospital wouldnt do any testing on my second, they told me "the next one" gee thanks).

My heart goes out to you, please find yourself another doc/specialist/ob/gyn - you, your partner, and your babies deserve better care than that!

[sadwombat]

Hi Snowie,
I'm so sorry for all 3 of your losses, each individual little baby. You are a much braver person than me. I just had my first m/c and my doctor told me they would do chromosome testing automatically. I'm really glad about this and I didn't even know it was an option. From what I have read, O/G start doing more testing after 2 m/c. Even so, it should be your option whether you want the tests done or not, especially if you are a private patient and are footing the bill! My advice would be to get a new doctor, why put up with sub-standard service.

[~StarBright~]

I agree with sadwombat snowie, i think its time to find a new dr.... 3 m/c is definalty something to investigate. It horrible when dr's make it all so clinical, i am sooo very sorry for the loss of your angel babies. they are more to you then statistics and percentages. hugs

I would look into seeing your FS again asap, (although i know its not always easy to get an appt) What testing did you have done then? I am sure that after filling him/her in on what has happened since september that they will feel the need for more testing for you.

And as hard as it may be sweetie, i would actually maybe stop ttc-ing until you get some more tests- if for no other reson than to save yourself the heart ache of it happeneing again before you get some answers. I know that it is a hard thing to do when you want this soo badly, but i just think if anything is going on- then you are better off finding out what to do BEFORE you try to get pregnant again.

Good luck, and i really hope that you get some answers soon.

Take care mate
xoxo Star brightxoxo

[snowie]

Thank you for all your replies... They are very much appreciated

I have a plan of action - I am going to call my FS on Monday to make an appt. Hopefully she will have an appt sometime sooner rather than later.

I am also going to be looking for a new OB. I think I will design a list of Qs and "interview" my next OB. Heck, I'm paying him/her, why would I ues a provider that I don't get along with. Now I just need figure out how to tell DH - he thinks all Drs are gods

Starbright - I do actually like your suggestion to stop TTC, not sure if we will. I will prob do the not trying but not preventing strategy. I am worried though especially for my DH, this loss really hit home for him as he saw the heartbeat - he is quite depressed at the moment. I don't want to get his hopes up if I fall again quickly, neither to I want him reacting in a negative way.

[~StarBright~]

Good luck Snowie- i too "interviewed" my ob, he was one of 4 i saw, and you are so right, we are the ones paying, its our body and our babies, so we need to be comfy with our providers. I went on how muxh they were willing to let me control what was going on, and how concerned they were with my history etc. One dr was very blazay(sp) about it all continuing to say i have just had bad luck and this time there was no need to have any close observations, just hope for the best- needless to say, i didnt go back to him and went with the guy who said i would have weekly monitoring, a delivery of my choice and who was clam and softly spoken and who is actually pretty high up in his possie at the hospital.

Good luck with your FS too, sometimes i have found it helps to actually ask to speak to the dr, not just the receptionist as your FS might be able to get them to sqeeze you in early, after you tell her what has happened, rather than just leaving it to the receptionist who may not know you from a bar of soap!! LOL

I have had a few "breaks from ttc" in my time, and while i hated every second i wasnt trying, i knew it was for the best in the long run. Good luck, and i hope you get some answers and some good positive care and you have all the success in the world!!

If you dont mind me asking, where abouts are you?

Take Care
xoxoxo

[snowie]

Starbright
I live in Brisbane - do you know of anyone here who I should contact?

[~StarBright~]

Private or public? My sister is in brissie and she went through the mater private, but she hasnt had any troubles, so im not sure if her ob is a specialist or not.

I am a little south of brissie, near tweed heads/gold coast so i havent had to look that far nth myself, i am sure you will find soemone up there. Google search to start maybe and go from there, i think your interview idea is the best- although it costs a bit for each interview!!! A good ob costs about 120 per visit which you get some back on medicare, but not all!! Still to get what you want its worth it!!! you will also need to see a gp to get referrals to see ob's, so get together a few names of drs and then go to the gp and get all the referrals at once, i explained to my dr what i was doing and he thought it was a great idea!! He wrote out letters explaining my history and sent them to the drs so they could read them before i got there and everything.

Its good you are close to a city, i am in the sticks, and had to decide to go nth or sth to find a dr, i picked nth after my interviews!!

Your fs might have an ob she recomends too- so maybe ask her too. I know there are a few ladies from brissie here if you want to starta thread asking brissie mums to recomend an ob and see if some names pop up a few times!!

SB xoxo

[Lady_Penelope]

Hi Snowie - I find it incredulous that testing is not being offered to you after 3 consecutive losses, such as you have experienced.
Call QFG (Qld Fertility Group) on Wickham Terrace, and enquire as to whether DR WARREN DE AMBROSIS is back from leave yet. He is very aggressive in his management - will be entirely upfront with you - and is a big softie underneath the rugged exterior. He is extremely knowledgeable and I trust him immensely in all gynae matters.
(If you do not have any luck getting into Warren - ie, if he still on leave - PM me - and I will suggest some other names. He would be my first port of call though.)

Thinking of you - Tracy (Brisbane)

[snowie]

Hi Lady Penelope
I have heard wonderful wonderful things about him too, he is Dr to one of my colleagues. But I have also heard a rumour that he is not coming back from leave, (retirement) my colleague needed to see another dr late last year for gynae matters because of this rumour.
Any other recommendations would be much appreciated.

[Lady_Penelope]

Snowie

I would be verrrry surprised if Warren were to retire completely - these rumours have been circulating for years. I first came across Warren via my husband (a DR who had had dealings with Warren, also) when I had fertility concerns and then when I needed surgery for an ectopic pregnancy. He is an amazing DR. Many people in the medical people would be surprised if he did not return in SOME capacity, even if it were to be part-time. I do know he was indeed taking SIX MONTHS off, but I think he would be due to return around now - so maybe call his offices this week and see. (My fingers are crossed for you.)

Otherwise - if you have no luck there - maybe look at the QFG website (Qld Fertility Group) - they have an excellent reputation (this is Warren's group). It's just that I would highly encourage you to seek out the opinion and/or management of a DR concentrating on gynae matters as opposed to one concentrating more on obstetrics/birth. You do not need to be seeking IVF to have a consult at QFG. I did not originally see Warren for that purpose - it was more for general peace of mind at the time, after ONE miscarriage (unfortunately followed up by an ectopic preg). He ran all sorts of tests which was greatly reassuring.

Another person I have heard great things about within the QFG group is DAVID MOLLOY. Each of the DRs within QFG have a bit of a blurb about them on the website.

If you were wanting to see someone at the WESLEY, I see STEPHEN COOK as my obstetrician - he has an excellent bedside manner and does do some general gynae and fertility stuff. I could also recommend him.

However............my 1st recommendation would be to see someone at QFG.

If you want any more info - please get in touch - happy to speak with you about my own experiences, etc, too. It's a harrowing journey, the journey of TTC, as you are only too aware.

All the very very best,
Tracy

[tempus moriendi]

Best of luck. It's great you've got a plan and you're taking control. Kudos and keep us posted.

[snowie]

Lady_Penelope
thank you for the info on Warren De Ambrosis and the back up name of David I will be ringing QFG - I keep hearing that this is the place to go. Stephen Cook delivered a colleagues baby at the Wesley just recently.

Starbright
Wow interviewing 4 OBs! You're amazing.


Update on me
I have an appt with my Fertility Specialist the one I mentioned in a previous post - I am excited, I could have had an appt this week but will go next week after work hours.

[~StarBright~]

LOL Yep, and of course i went with the LAST one i interviewed!! But he is good and i am sticking with him!!

Good luck with your appt!! I hope you get some answers!!!

[tempus moriendi]

Good luck, keep us posted!