My Story

[Katiegirl]

Hi Natters. I am so sorry for the loss of your baby. It is the most painful experience and please try to be kind to yourself.

I lost Nathaniel around 15 weeks but did not find out until the 20 week scan. I have since looked through my diary a 100 times to try and work out what I was doing around this time. I worked a tradeshow for 1 day where I lifted boxes and was on my feet all day and I remember being thirsty. When I am rational I know this event is not related, but at other times I stress that I put too much pressure on my body that day. We all do it, mainly because there is often no known reason or cause for our M/Cs.

What you are going through it natural but you need to try your best not to blame yourself. Take care.

[tempus moriendi]

No advice, just best wishes and cyber hugs. I'm so sorry for your loss. I'll keep you in my prayers.

[natters]

Thank you, everyone.

I wanted to update with a couple things I found very comforting over the last couple days.

Two days ago (I think) I prayed before sleep that God would take care of my baby. That night I dreamt I was at my Mom's house with my brother and a shooting star flew past our heads and landed in her garden. Him and I went over to it and as I picked it up my body shook with vibrations (much like those when you hear a really good song or have a good orgasm) and all I could see was light all around me and I just felt happy. The strange part was that I woke up and I still felt the vibrations and the happiness, just like everything was going to be ok.

Of course I'm still upset about everything but it was just really relieving to experience this...

Next was something my Mom wrote to me that I thought I would share with you all....

"Mysteries of life we can only guess....

I believe that the life you created chose to be placed there for a very brief time in order to draw attention to the parts of you that needed to be fixed up for a healthier place for the next one.

Thake that memory of that little life, wrap it in love, light and gratitude, and let it go to carry out more acts of love"

Lastly I found a poem while browsing that I thought you all might appreciate.

Little Footprints
by Dorothy Ferguson

How very softly you tiptoed into my world.
Almost silently, only a moment you stayed.
But what an imprint your footprints have left upon my heart.

Thank you all for your kind words. I've decided to take my doctors (and mothers) advice and wait 6 months to ttc again. I will however be hounding my doctor about my progress to see if he will recommend it (based on my past health history) any sooner

Prayers and baby dust to all