Mrs Dex - oh my sweetie. What a hard path you have to walk. I am so sorry.On the up side I am really pleased you have an appointment with Dr Sacks so quickly. I called his rooms, but didn't end up taking it any further, not yet anyway. It's ironic isn't it. One of the things that I consoled myself with early on in this journey, was that I could fall pregnant quickly. Maybe after the first loss, those thoughts are comforting, but not now. I have heard that he is simpl the most amazing Dr who has such empathy and compassion. Hopefully you will find him that way too. Be interesting to see what it's like to have a phone consult.

Thankyou for taking the time to ask about me, in your very tumultuous week.

The tree planting was good, but not quite the way I imagined it. DH took over, but that's because he didn't want me doing anything crazy. Guess I am not the only one on tenterhooks. Anyway, I thought he was cranky with me and he wasn't. So at the time it took the edge off, but we talked about it, and it was ok in the end. Besides, I can't expect him to comply with some fantasy I have about how something will happen if I don't actually tell him what my expectations are. So in the end, it actually worked out better than I expected.

No real news here. I felt very queasy all day on Thursday, and thought I was going to puke heaps of times, including once on my boss. I have started to carry some vom bags with me, just in case. Luckily I didn't puke n my boss. The nausea finally just disappeared when I got home from work. DH and I went for a walk together in the evening which was lovely and I just enjoyed it. But I did manage to invoke the ire of one of my aunts. We were to go over to her house for my cousins birthday. I rang near the time we were to be there, feeling pretty miserable, and said I was feeling sick so wasn't coming. She just got cranky at me. I am not sure how I feel about that. It upset me, and I am annoyed, but maybe she was annoyed because she made food for us. But I hardly ever renge so I am not sure what's going on. It's just annoying to try and navigate other peoples emotions when mine are so fragile.

I suppose the one thing that is on my mind lately, is I have a real fear of an ectopic pregnancy. I don't know why, but I do. It's almost an irrational fear. I win the mental battle with it most times, but was awake for 2 hours from 2am this morning. I didn't realise I was worrying about it at first.

It's so exciting to get the BFp even if it is faint, but still so demoralising when it doesn't stick......

Depending on your discussion Dr Sacks might want to take a uterine biopsy which can only be done on certain days of your cycle. Not sure which days.

Go gently my friend. I am thinking of you and sending big cat hugs your way.

JennaJayean - I actually can't answer any of your questions...... but luckily Mrs Dex did.