Starbright i really take my hat off to you, i think it is fantastic that you have been through so much and have such a great out look. I totally agree with your philosophy. I think to an extent that is maybe why i had this ectopic, i fell pregs so easy with my son (first try) and now im 2.5 years in trying for number 2 its made me appreciate him and how lucky we were, but i must say i am aching for my #2. I am 1 week post op and i am finding it so hard now, i try to stay postive most of the time, but my breakdowns have been much more frequent than when i first had the surgery. i have someone helping me with some homoeopathics and i took the first one the other day and since then i have been crying and getting really down alot. maybe its all just coming out, the first week i was in so much pain, it hurt to cry as well Its so bad i find myself giving evil looks to pregnant women (not good!!!!) and we had a family picnic at my husbands work and it was quite uncanny that everyone there had 2+ childern, it was so difficult. I think its quite funny that when you have had some hurt or pain you seem to get confronted with it more often or maybe its just your more aware, who knows. Well i'm sorry for my big rant, i'll get there and it helps just getting it out sometimes, so thanks for listening to everyone.