Thanks ladies, for listening to my ranting and understanding my pain. There are not to many people in my "real" world who will do that so thankyou!

Good and bad news today.
The good is that tomorrow's trip to Sydney is going ahead. DrS says they don't know how pregancy hormones will affect test but to do it anyway so I will at least get that out of the way. Not expecting answers but at least I'll know I have done it.
Bad news is that a scan today confirmed some retained placental tissue which is happily growing like i'm still pg. Explains why my pg symptoms are getting worse rather than easing.
My Dr is with me on the reluctance to do yet another D&C ( I've had waaay to many) so we will try misoprostol tabs and pray I can expel it over the next few days. Not convinced its going to work given its had 4 weeks to come out and no sign of shifting,but crossing everything. How ironic to be desperate for pregnancy but, now equally desperate for it all to e gone. How can my body be so good at killing babies but so reluctant to give them up?!!