csab - thank you for your sympathies, it made me cry again which makes me feel again... as I feel numb mostly

lizjessie - most people do not know how to react to bad news and say stupid things. Just look at what my in-laws said to my husband... thank goodness it wasn't said to me or I would have blasted them in my grief. You were eager to share your happy news which is understandable, its horrible that you then had to share your loss so soon afterwards.

I was at a very low point on Friday night and had an urge to lay down on the road which thankfully passed when a car towing a boat went past. If it hadn't been for DH, DD's and my mother I wouldn't be here.