We lost our miracle yesterday

[ickimum]

Ladies I don't even know what to say, we lost or miracle baby yesterday...........I started bleeding on Thursday but it stopped and OB felt things where okay and I could just come in for my appointment next monday, and I was to call her if the bleeding started again or I was to go directly to ER.
Well Sunday night I started bleeding and cramping and I knew we had lost Miracle........I was admitted to ER at our Royal Womens hosptial and placed on IV and booked for a scan........it took all day but I knew by the bleeding that the baby had died..........I was discharged last night with instructions on how to deal with the next few days of bleeding..........I am devestated, MY dh is a beautiful husband but he has no idea what to say or do...........I just want to curl up and hide from the world, I can't talk on the phone, I am hiding from friends and family..............My dh is wanting to try again ASAP, today I never want to try again........it took so long to get that double pink line our miracle..........the heartbreak is just beyond anything I have ever been though.......How do I get though these next few days..........I am a person that needs memory symbols in my life and one of the Nurses yesterday suggested buying a necklace or planting a tree as a memory and saying goodbye process.
What have others done? and does anyone know where I can buy memorial jewlery?
Heartbroken and full of sorrow right now
Hugs Nicki

[missya]

Dearest Nicki, my heart goes out to you, I'm so so sorry that you have to go through this.
I've been there and there is nothing anyone can say that will make it better.
As wonderful as people are and as supportive as your husband is, you just don't know what its like till it happens to you.
I planted a rose for my twins as my special thing and am planning a tattoo at some stage.
Just be kind to yourself and allow yourself to grieve, it's so important, don't let people tell you it wasn't meant to be or its just one of those things. It is a loss of a person, dreams and plans, don't let anyone dismiss it.
It will take time but it will get a little easier. You will never forget, I'm bawling eight years on, tears for you and me and the many women who endure this. Takecare Sweetie

[Spring Angel]

Nicki

I am so very sorry for the loss of your dear little baby. It feels like the pain will never go away but give yourself time to grieve and eventually you will begin to heal.

I think the idea of a symbol to remember your baby is wonderful. I have a necklace and a pendant that I hold dear as a memory of my son.

I know there is a website which sells memorial necklaces so I'll BBL with the link.

Take care sweetie.

Lv Spring

ETA: The address is Miscarriage and Infant Loss Memorial Jewelry, Sympathy Gifts

[catherinemoses]

Hi Nicki. I just want to give you a big hug...:hugs:
I know there is nothing anyone can say or do that will be particularly comforting at this time. We lost our bub at 12 weeks and it was devastating. My Hubby bought me a necklace while I was in hospital, which reminds me of our precious bub and also of his love for me.
I don't want to sound harsh but don't forget that you aren't the only one grieving. Your hubby will be too, and while it hurts so much more for us I think we can forget how hurt they are too.
Please don't blame yourself. I know it is really hard but one of the things which really helped me was "well at least we didn't have a really sick/ in pain/ damaged little baby, better now than after 9 months." It sounds cruel I know but it did help me.
I hope this has helped.
Blessings to you and your family. Catherine

[nicjay]

Oh no Nicki, I am so very very sorry

I wish there was something I could write to make you feel better, but I know from bitter experience that there really isn't much anyone can do or say to help in the days following. I was an emotional wreck following my m/c and D&C. All I can say is if you feel that you need to curl up and hide or not talk on the phone, then you should do it until you feel like you can cope with things. I was fortunate that I had a few close friends I could talk to who knew about my pregnancy, and my local miscarriage support group helped me a lot too - but that took awhile before I could go it

My DH took good care of me after my m/c, but he too was devastated by grief and found it difficult to cope. He just wanted to make the pain go away for me, and he didn't really know what to say or do to help either I found that in the weeks following, the best thing he could do for me was just to listen when I needed to talk - I really don't know how I would have coped without him, even though we did have our moments

I bought a necklace with a heart pendant which I wear now, so my little one is close to my heart always - we were a bit worried about planting a plant and having it die on us We haven't had a memorial as such, but every now and then I light and candle and think about our little one that we lost.

Big hugs to you and your family xx

[cherie26]

Nicki
I felt the same as you I couldn't face anyone and couldn't talk on the phone for nearly two weeks. My DH was great and supported me the best he could and he was hurting to. I wanted to try again straight away but dh was scared it would happen again as was I but I felt I deperatley needed to fill that emptyness inside.
My mum bought me a beatuiful tree that has big pink flowers that I planted in my garden as a memory of my little girl.
You and and your family are in my thoughts and prayers and remember just give yourself time to greive.

[Auntie M]

i am so sorry for your loss of precious Miracle. i wish no one need feel the pain of losing a child. i send my hugs and tears to you for your pain. like Spring, i have a necklace i wear every day to keep my son close to my heart. we also planted a few fruit trees last summer, and put up a bench nearby. allow yourself to grieve, my dear, you have lost your precious child and no one can replace Miracle. xxoom

[Curmon]

So sorry to hear what has happened. I lost my little precious one a few weeks ago and this weekend we are heading up to Sydney to make a Teddy Bear for the baby. You pick what bear you want and you get to place a few things inside it with the stuffing, such as love hearts and kisses, we are also going to place a picture of the ultrasound in there to. Then you get a birth certificate and if you like you can pick some clothes put to dress your bear. After that the bear is boxed and ready to take home.

The shops are based in Sydney so I dont know where you are from but I am sure if you like that idea you could find something similar where you live.

Claire

[Kitt3n]

Icki, I am so sorry for your loss, there is nothing anyone can say or do to make anything "better", just know your little angel will be watching you. I am convinced that they leave us too early because they are simply too pure for this world.

Something that might help you to let go is a candle - i bought a specila little candle, said a few words and then lit it. As it was just about to go out i sat there and watched it, and as the flame died it kinda helped me to release and to say goodbye.

:hugs: