oh, lindy. i too found that my husband and i grieved in different ways. i guess it is a male / female thing, along with the physical that you alone are going through. i found it so important to tell my dh how i was feeling so he could respond to others in a way that i would agree with. i also refused to do anything social for quite a while -- but i did let my dh know exactly why while trying to let him know that his grief process was fine, just different than mine. it is such a dicey issue, your dh is your best support and so important to you now. but you must also allow yourself the time you need. i hope you can talk things through and get what you need while still honoring the differences between the two of you. big hugs. m