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Thread: wishing i didnt have to do this!

  1. #1
    DoubleK Guest

    Default wishing i didnt have to do this!

    well, im really not up to typing the whole story.. but i need to let some feelings out.

    i found out yesterday that i was pregnant, which was great! we weren't TTC, so it was (another) surprise, but welcomed!!

    i had severe cramping, and today i have been bleeding. we had an ultrasound at the emergency department(which they tell me is a very basic scan, nothing like a regular scan at a radiologist) he was unable to 'find' anything, but has referred me to a radiologist in the morning, for a proper scan.
    My hcg(thats right isnt it?) levels have dropped since yesterdays blood tests, so i have pretty much accepted that we have lost our baby, but the doctor said to relax until tomorrows scan, and that will give me a definite answer.. bless her for being so caring and thoughtful of my feelings

    i want to have this scan, but i dont think i can watch the screen while they try to 'find' a heartbeat



    i have been feeling nauseaus all day, which i kind of thought might be a good sign - that was untill we got the blood test back.. im still queasy, but i am not getting my hopes up!

    i will update tmorrow after the ultrasound.. thank you for reading if you got this far!!

  2. #2
    Ellibam Guest

    Default

    rach im sorry to hear your going through this now!
    you know we are here for you!

  3. #3

    Join Date
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    Default

    Rach,

    I am so sorry to hear that, I truly hope that you will get some good news tomorrow sorry again

  4. #4

    Join Date
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    Default

    Awww Rach, huge :hugs: for you hon...
    I truly hope you get good news tomorrow and come and tell us all good news.
    We are all here for you.

  5. #5

    Join Date
    Feb 2008
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    Qld
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    Default

    I'm so sorry for your loss
    Sending lots of :hugs: your way

  6. #6

    Join Date
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    Default

    Rach, huge hugs huni. Sorry to hear that you are going through this. I pray that your scan today gives you some promising results.

  7. #7

    Join Date
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    Default

    Rach - praying that you get good news.

    Barbara

  8. #8

    Join Date
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    Default

    Oh Rach, I'm so sorry to hear that.

  9. #9

    Join Date
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    Default

    Awwww Rach :hugs: I'm so sorry.

  10. #10

    Join Date
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    Hi hun,
    So sorry your'e going through this, will be praying for some good news.

    Hugs,
    Dianne

  11. #11
    DoubleK Guest

    Default

    hi ladies, thank you so much for your replies, it means a lot to me!

    i woke up the morning, covered in blood, and i 'passed' what i can only describe as a blob.. we didnt get to have the ultrasound(the hospital had no record of my appointment - even after i handed them my piece of paper that the doctor wrote the appointment details on...) so i have booked one for tomorrow afternoon, and they will tell me if i need to have anything else removed..

    im feeling such mixed emotions.. one minute im ok, then my heart just sinks when i think i could have been telling my friends and family some exciting news, but instead im telling a select few my sad news. its not fair, but i can only think it could have been worse... i could have lost our baby after 6 months of pregnancy or worse stillbirth... i now have a more emotional understanding of what miscarriage really means, and i sympathise with anyone else who has suffered one.. and i cant help but think why i was given a baby, then to have it taken away

    thanks again for your replies, even a small well wish means so much, and its helping me get through this.

    i just wish we had a chance to get used to the idea of being pregnant, but i guess maybe its better this way.

    byebye our butterfly baby.......

  12. #12

    Join Date
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    Default

    Rach - just wanted to give you big :hugs:

    Take care of yourself.

  13. #13

    Default

    Oh hunny...so sorry you have to go through this.

    Thinking of you..

  14. #14

    Default

    I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you and your DP can support eachother through this awful time.

  15. #15

    Join Date
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    I'm so sorry Rach

  16. #16
    smiles4u Guest

    Default

    Your "Butterfly Baby" will forever be in YOUR heart

    ... I thanked my own two angels for choosing me & making me feel fortunate rather than unfortunate that they chose me to be their Mumma even though it was for a very short time !!

    I have no magical words for you RACH but I hope that thought may help you in the smallest way

  17. #17

    Join Date
    Sep 2006
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    I'm so very sorry for your loss. I hope you have lots of supportive people around you atm. Always know that we are here for you hun. Please take care of yourself during this very difficult time

  18. #18
    Enchanted Guest

    Default

    Aw hun I am soooo sorry to hear this. Wishing you all the strength in the world.

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