Hi,

After 7 years of IVF (requiring egg donation) I'm starting to think seriously about adoption. I've always been absolutley certain that IVF would work for DW and I, but we're not getting anywhere.

The last cycle ended in a miscarriage at 7 weeks. The miscarriage was particularly nasty, causing the most excruciating pain for DW and a trip to the hospital at 2:00am.

As I was in the hospital, I started to think about what we'd been through over the last 7 years, how IVF rules our life, emothins, friendships (and our bank account), and what if I'd lost DW that night, and all the other horrible things that go through your mind during the trauma.

The thing is, I know we'd be fantastic parents and be able to give so much love, I can't see our lives without children.

So I get to thinking that seeing as we need donated eggs, what difference would it make to have donated sperm as well? After 7 years, the urge to have children is greater that the urge to pass on my gene's...and if DW can accept having children without her gene's then I can too.

I read somewhere that only 20% of a child's personality is inherited and the rest is developed from the people that look after them.

My questions are -

What is life like with an adopted child/children? We'll most probably miss out on their years from 0 - 2, so the chances are we'll get a toddler or even older ( I guess up too about 10 years old).

How does that affect the realtionship between parent and child? Can it be as rewarding as having your own flesh and blood? Is the love between parent and child unconditional?


Answers on a post card please...