I had SPD as a child and no-one was able to pick me up. I was lucky I just had a quiet, older sister so we didn't have sibling issues but when I was 2 my older cousin picked me up despite being told not to and I arched out of her arms, hit my head on the coffee table and still have the scar on my forehead to show for it!

I agree you can't worry about pleasing ignorant people tan. If they can't managa to try and understand then that's their loss.