Like Michelle, I found that many comments from the MCHN felt like a personal affront even if they weren't meant that way. My little boy had swollen breasts for a few weeks after birth due to my hormones, which I'd read about and been told was normal, so I didn't pay much attention. When the MCHN came to visit, she felt them and said "haven't you noticed he has mastitis these must be very painful" - and then questioned me about whether they were getting larger or not. As I thought that was normal, I hadn't noticed, and felt guilty for not paying close enough attention.

Another one that made me feel inadequate was the way some midwives asked about why I had an emergency C section. Phrases like "so what went wrong then?" and "why couldn't you give birth naturally?" made me feel like a bit of a failure for having to have a c section (which I know now was absolutely needed). It would have been better to say "tell me your birth story" rather than sounding judgemental.

My little boy had some problems with weight gain and I felt sooo bad about that - after all, how would I know? My GP was fantastic during this time, reassuring me that he was happy and didn't look at risk of anything happening, and just to try a few techniques to get more food into him. As a result of the pressure from the MCHN and the guilt I'm still paranoid about his weight and try to stuff him extra full - now he sometimes cries when I try to stuff him again!