Controlled Crying - needs defining?

[Debbie Lee]

I would encourage all mothers to LISTEN to their child's cries. You CAN tell the difference between upset babies who are saying "where are you mum? I'm upset" to babies who are saying "don't know what I want, just feeling out of sorts" and who are calming down.

So true and I agree.... however classic controlled crying techniques don't really support or encourage the "listening" part... more the "controlling" part. I think that's where the main issue lies. I worry that a new Mum being shown controlled crying techniques (possibly at the end of her tether) is also being encouraged to get used to or ignore the real urgent crying... the crying that isn't just a settling down/winding down cry.
I worry that there is a set "schedule" or a set amount of time to leave a baby to cry... I worry about the routine-ness of it all.
Sounds to me like you are really tuned into your children and that's great! To me it doesn't sound like you're following controlled crying much at all... but doing what works best for you and your babies (as it should be).
Every child is different and every parent is different.
Gabby has always been a great sleeper but she does have her moments. If I leave her to cry she just gets more and more upset so I do have to go in and pick her up and give her a reassuring cuddle. She has never co-slept with us (just didn't work for us) and she's always slept great on her own. I just find that when she's upset (usually when she's sick) that she needs that extra comfort. It takes a while to discover what works for your own baby tho... any money this next baby is completely different!