Not failing! Having a hard time, and we all do! I'll have to say that "F**king go to sleep!" was not a golden parenting moment of mine... but now I laugh about it, because I was just having such a hard time.
In the early weeks, I made sure the little one got at least 3 hours a day in the sling, preferably before midday. If I could do that, the rest of her day was a whole lot easier. We also had a lot of sleeps together - her wrapped up next to me, on the boob for the first little bit, and then we'd just nap together for as long as we could. There's nothing wrong with it, and make sure you put other stuff on hold.
Things DO get better. Before you know it. You'll be getting smiles and chatting any minute now, and it will be worth the hard work, and it will get easier.
Could your mum come and help? Oh wait.... I remember those threads. Maybe not I can though, if you want. I did it without family support, and it's bloody tough.
There isn't really much I can add, everyone has given some awesome tips.
I just want to second everyone by saying that, NO you are not a failure.
You are doing an amazing job. Look at what you have been through this past month - geeze woman you deserve a medal
I had those exact same moments, "Just shut up! I want to sleep" Then someone close told me, the first 6 weeks are the hardest, after that everything seems to settle down. From that point onwards, I was counting down the 6 week mark, haha. Things will settle down, I promise. For now, just know that you're doing a great job, and sleepless nights catch up on you quickly. Try and get some sleep next time DP is home, or when your aunty asks if you'd like a lie down.
I am counting down to the 6 week mark. By Friday I'm halfway. It helps to know I'm not the only one to tell my baby to shut up. All the tips I've been given are great. I have a sling, it works pretty well.... but doesn't help when I want to be comfortable and sleep. Still good during the day. I've discovered he really loves music, and will calm down if I play ANY mp3 at all. It can be thrashy metal and he still calms down, lol. However that's no good when we're trying to sleep either! All the solutions I've found are daytime solutions.
I suppose I just need to keep battling on, and waiting for things to get better. I just want to sleep, really. DP and I work really well as a team, and take turns giving eachother a rest. Neither of us ever really uses our time to sleep though as there's so much other stuff to do. We've got to eat, bottles need to be sterilised... I'm out of undies so we need to do laundry. The list goes on. BUT we're staying mostly sane, and are supporting eachother instead of fighting and arguing like I hear some do. New babies put a strain on a relationship? Not ours. Axel has cemented our bond more than I expected. Maybe it's the fact I was so sick and could have died at one point there.. I don't know. Even when he's screaming, DP and I can still look at eachother lovingly and smile. Except at 3am. That's when we say SHUT UP! Heh...
Once again thank you all for the advice, I'll be sure to come back to this page when I next feel like a failure. Right now, bubby is asleep, DP is resting, and I'm actually doing something I enjoy. (bb) Feeling quite sane for the time being. Let's see what tonight brings.................... *shudder*
It's quite overwhelming at times, isn't it? My oldest daughter is 14. When she was first born, I remember bursting into tears and wailing to my husband that I was never going to have a minute to myself again because she cried every time I put her down. Still, I went on to have 6 more children.
It does pass. I know that may not make it easier to handle, but remind yourself of that.
I'd see your doctor about PND just to be on the safe side. The worst case scenario is that they'll diagnose you as having it and you'll be able to keep on top of it with counselling or meds.
darl xxxx
BellyBelly Life Subscriber
I can though, if you want. I did it without family support, and it's bloody tough.
Then someone close told me, the first 6 weeks are the hardest, after that everything seems to settle down. From that point onwards, I was counting down the 6 week mark, haha. Things will settle down, I promise. For now, just know that you're doing a great job, and sleepless nights catch up on you quickly. Try and get some sleep next time DP is home, or when your aunty asks if you'd like a lie down.
Reply With Quote
Bookmarks