Your feelings are completely normal and valid hun....okay, I havn't read your birth story, some of the things that I can think of - a chiropractor who specialises in babies - sometimes a traumatic birth can leave babies feeling uncomfortable so they can't settle, does he pull his legs up and squirm around, Brauers Stomach Calm or Brauers Colic can work wonders, having his cot raised at one end if it is a reflux issue. Slings are great for getting things done and bub being close to you so he can sleep. And, you need to look after yourself too, talk to your MCHN if she's an approachable type or contact your hospital to speak to someone there, it really helps to get it out and realise that what you are feeling is normal but also they have coping strategies too to get you through this difficult time. Hugs. xxx