Sarah, I think it's soooo normal to have these concerns. I have several friends that are pregnant with their second baby and they are all worried about how they are going to have enough love to go around. Our first babies become our entire world so it's hard to imagine that another creature could have the same impact!
My question is, do you feel like your parents loved you less than your other siblings? When I ask myself this question, it's an absolute no. I know they loved me the same amount (sometimes in a different way when you take personalities into consideration - but not more or less).

The next baby you have may be completely different from Zander and you'll have no sleep issues at all!

Also, with the c/s, an elective one may not be so bad. From what I can gather, your c/s with Zander was pretty horrendous (by the sounds of it, the whole thing was). They were probably pretty rough with you to get him out. Next time will be a whole different kettle of fish. My c/s was an emergency but it wasn't really that rushed. I really don't think I suffered any more pain that someone to tore when giving birth naturally. I SO understand why you have opted not to try for a VBAC. I swing either way.

Anyway... just wanted to let you know that I understand (and often have the same fears myself).