And i felt like the family didn't even want to be around him with his constant crying.
I wouldn't be able to leave him with anyone whilst i had a sleep or anything either...because i felt they would all get way too frustrated with the crying
I can relate too, those sentences particularly brought it back for me. Tom was my second baby, but the first with colic. It came as a huge shock to the system, especially with a toddler to look after. And Tom's unexpectedly early arrival meant that DH couldn't be home with me. Instead we had MIL staying but she made it worse. One night at 4am she stormed upstairs to where I was comforting a crying Tom and she screamed at me "I can't cope with lack of sleep anymore, you have to do something" and a whole lot of other things about me being too stupid to take him to the doctor and for not trying formula etc. The whole experience was a nightmare for me. I was so uptight whenever he cried because I knew MIL was there fuming and judging me.

As I said, I was a 2nd time mum, and an older mum, and I still had trouble coping. And I still think that prevented me from bonding with Tom as early as I did with Jack. So I would say that your feelings are very normal and that you have done an amazing job so far. And please, do ask for help, because others won't mind as much as you think they will. My ony regret is that I didn't ask for more help. I had friends who would have happily helped out and not thought less of me or Tom. But I don't ask for help at the best of times, and I think the lack of sleep seriously clouded my judgement. So please, do ask for help. It can make a huge difference, even if you just get a couple of hours sleep.

Also, it will pass. For us, luckily, Tom got better at about week 12 or 13. I know it can last longer than this, but I think this is a common time for it to settle, so I really hope that is true for you too. Motherhood WILL get more enjoyable and you have now passed the hardest test with flying colors, so the rest should be a breeze for you.

Huge hugs to you and take care. I look forward to reading that things have improved for you really soon.