However, she has learnt to share and to negotiate because she has 4 siblings. She has learned not to be so selfish & she is stretched to think of others... As are her siblings. To me that is a far greater gift than having me all to herself and not knowing what it means to stretch and grow in a family.

I understand the guilt but let's balance it up with the gains too!
So beautifully said Inanna.

Heaven I can definitely relate to your post, however I can't share any experience of bringing bub #2 into the mix....yet! Before I confirmed this pregnancy, I sort of just *knew* I was UTD...I was just too scared to POAS for a few days, and spent a very restless few days & nights freaking out over the prospect of another bub. I was stuck in thoughts & feelings about betraying my gorgeous DS - how could I introduce another little person to the mix when he needs me so much and still will into the future? How will he cope? Will he retaliate or resent me?

And then I did the test, confirmed I was pregnant - and those thoughts changed. Almost instantly. I don't know if it was because I had the concrete answer to the "am I UTD, aren't I?" question. Or whether something inside just clicked those thoughts about guilt & betrayal over into thoughts of excitement and anticipation about how much of a gift baby number two truly is.

DP and I focus our thoughts on how much of a priviledge it is to grow our little family unit. We're slightly packing it about having two so young and close together - but you know what - I truly can't think of having a greater challenge or purpose right now in life. What makes me smile the most is imagining DS with a little brother or sister - growing up together, learning, exploring the world. Teaching us new things and challenging how we view the world. I'm sure we'll have days where everything gets turned upside down in lots of ways, but I guess I'd have those with one, two or ten children.

We'll see how we go when #2 arrives....I know my outlook ATM is probably through rosy coloured glasses - but I'm focussing on keeping it positive. We have a lot of great things to look forward to.