Siiiiigghh.... I take my sweet time sometimes, but the penny has finally dropped.

Noticed I was being fairly contrary with suggestions and generally feeling quite rattled by this thread and finally thought to have a look in my head... and I've realised that this should never have been a 'WWYD' thread. The answers are pretty simple. Put up with it, or don't and find another way to maintain the friendship. I just WISH there was something else. But there's not really, and so ultimately this is better suited as a vent. It just SUCKS. For my friend, for our friendship, for my kids who have endured some stress while I grappled with this...

I think I have a fair bit of survivor guilt. Our girls were born on the same day and we met in special care. Superficial similarities, i know, but it kind of felt like we were on the same path. But my friend's life has been pretty tough ever since and she's always been the one with the reflux/crying/non-sleeping/tantruming child with health problems, speech delay, still in nappies and the absent Daddy. My DD slept more, met milestones earlier, spoke earlier and has no speech problems now, eats well, was TT by 2 and is pretty easy-going and cooperative. And my DH is around and supportive. And none of this is because I'm the 'better' parent or more deserving person or because my DD is somehow the 'better' kid... I was dealt a very kind hand nd whilst I have worked very hard to parent DD well, I clearly didn't make her walk, talk, eat or TT before she was ready. And I'm lucky she has such a placid temperament (though oooh I think my DS has other things in store for me!). My friend often makes these comparisons. Not in a super negative way, just in a kind of 'sheesh, I really can't seem to catch a break hey?!' kind of way and wistfully commenting on my DD just cooperating, being polite or taking herself off to the toilet.

It just seems unfair and it makes me cringe to be the one who got the relatively easy road, and who now feels the need to pull away from her hardship ITMS?

Thanks so much for all replies. Even if I wasn't all that agreeable to suggestions, working through the situation did really help. xox