Sorry it all just sounds like excuses to me. You are definitely not expecting too much of Shel. The more time your partner spends holding and caring for the baby the easier it gets for both of them, it's how the bond forms. I didn't know how to get up, feed, hold, change, whatever my baby until I learnt by doing it. Yeah it's hard work and it's tiring and it's the last thing you want to do in the middle of the night, but really the first year passes so quickly and it's time that you never ever get back with that little person.

Any partner that is that hands-on with their baby reaps the rewards from the closeness of the bond they get. It's that simple.

FWIW, my DH has always got up to the baby in the night, he changes her then brings her in for me to feed. Sometimes he gets up again and puts her back to bed after the feed (depending on how tired or sore I am or not). In the early weeks, he would often get up and get me a hot drink, and stay awake and talk a little. He might not be awake the whole time but a little bit of input from him made all the differece. It made those long nights all the more bearable. He works long and demanding days (often with early starts) so if it means you go to bed an hour or two earlier for a few months to compensate, so what?