... last night Jazz was being fussy, and Shel passed her back to me after 5 minutes of trying to settle her (with a 'her, you have her, she doesn't like me' ), so I snapped at her (shouldn't have but Jazz was cranky pants velcro baby all day) and Shel stomped off and went to bed..

Sounds exactly like my house!! My DH does NOTHING!! He thinks he is a flaming hero if he takes the garbage out. You should have heard the promises that were made to me when he was trying to convince me to have another baby. Don't get me wrong, I am glad he convinced me as Jack is the light of my life, but, wow, did those promises of help and support go out the window quick!!

I myself am trying to work out how to fix this, so I really don't have any advice, but I hope things get better for all us with "not so helpful" partners.